Well, last week, it occurred to me that I could plug all the info she had worked so hard to gather into Ancestry and see where it would take me. I mean, our gene pools are something we're all naturally curious about as we'd like to see what makes us who we are, where we came from, and, well, we'd also enjoy a heads up if there are things such are webbed toes or cone heads for which we need to be on the lookout.

Well, I put in her information and Ancestry lit up like a Christmas tree. There were leaves popping up everywhere on my family tree. I followed my mother's family back 24 generations to 1398. We already knew they were Scottish whose clan had apparently drawn the shortest straw for the ugliest plaid, but I found a long line of earls, countesses, lairds, barons, and lords of parliament, so I think Davis could stand to treat me with a bit more deference as I didn't find any of that in his lineup. And when I saw we had our very own "Lady Mary", I nearly jumped out of my seat. I've been sitting up straighter, using the term, manor, in the place of house, and quit using paper plates at lunch as I feel such casual living doesn't suit someone of my bloodline.

I've had a big week. A big, big week. Of course, that's using the Covid-19 standard of measurement, which is far different from a big week using the typical scale, but we're happy to get whatever we can get at this point.

I went out to dinner with friends. Yeah, you heard me. It was a late birthday celebration and we were all just so excited to be getting out of the house. Only one of us had enjoyed her turn at the salon. She'd gone that day and so the more ungroomed among us just sat and looked longingly at her hair with much fascination- wanting to smell the chemicals and run our fingers through it. We hung on every detail of her visit and admired her rich color and freshly cut layers.

The masked server came to get our drink order. We looked over the menu like we'd just been released from serving 20 years at Attica. We hoped we could remember how restaurant etiquette worked as our skills were quite rusty. We looked over all the food options and took time to appreciate that someone else would be preparing it and bringing it to us on dishes that someone else would be washing. After the quarantine saga of being held captive in our own kitchens, it was almost a tearful realization. They were actually going to bring us food. Whatever we wanted. And all we had to do was sit there. As emotional as the moment was, we were far too excited to cry. We were out of the house and enjoying a break from our longtime quarantine cellmates back home. We were wearing real clothes with full makeup and were overcome with excitement.

We looked around the locally owned restaurant and it was pretty bare. There were three other tables being used besides ours. The place emptied out as we lingered and talked. We were obviously the patrons who were the most ecstatic about being out on the town for the evening. Every now and then, we'd see a car or two pass by the big glass windows, but nothing like the usual activity you'd expect on a typical night. It was most delightful, but there was something sad about it, too. While we were so busy enjoying ourselves in this once normal, routine activity, there were signs all around reminding us that things still weren't normal or routine. We closed the place down and walked out to the desolate street to our cars with the staff locking the doors behind us. We'd enjoyed the company and the laughter and being served a delicious meal. We'd really just enjoyed the chance to do a simple, normal thing together again.

We keep a dry erase calendar on our refrigerator. I didn't even bother to fill in the dates for April- there were no events to remember and nothing, whatsoever, to attend. But, now, I actually have several days marked in the next couple of weeks. Every time we spot a hint of normalcy or step toward more activity, no matter how small, we can feel a warming ray of optimism. It's happening far too fast for some and dragging its feet for others. Everyone has an opinion and a level of engagement where they feel comfortable. Patience with each other will be needed in this. Recognizing we're all coming at this from different angles with our own personalities, experiences, and medical charts, surely, we can reach way down in ourselves to meet each person with grace and respect until we're all standing side by side again. Side by side with no tape or cones or clear plastic barriers between us.

What a happy day that will be.

Until then, let's be kind.


Joni

So, here we are- Mother's Day week 2020. It will be one to remember for sure. When we're old and gray, we'll look back on this year's Mother's Day when none of us had enjoyed a haircut or color since Valentine's Day and, when our big day finally rolled around, well, we were all sporting a real earthy, worn look-perhaps not unlike the early settlers when they stepped off the boat at Plymouth. This will long be remembered as the year of the haggard, homely mother with her gray roots which measured upwards of 4 inches. That May when we didn't know what to possibly expect next as we sat around in masks, clutching our toilet paper, and watching for the murder hornets in the sky. That warm and fuzzy Mother's Day when someone would only touch us with a ten foot pole and when shopping restrictions made prospects of gift selection by our menfolk even more dim than they usually were. That time when restaurants operating at 50% capacity meant we cooked our own celebratory meal or sat on a bench clenching a silent buzzer until sometime the following Tuesday. We'll always remember this Mother's Day even though we forbade photo documentation of any kind. The year we gauged our age and frailty by how flipped out our children got when we told them we wanted to go out. That glorious May when our manicures looked like the work of a school child and our eyebrows like they belonged on the cast of Duck Dynasty.

On the more serious side, it'll be remembered as the Mother's Day some of us were kept from seeing our own moms except through the window of a retirement home or on a phone screen. The year disappointment overwhelmed many of us with our graduates missing so much of their special milestone. The kindergarten play that never happened. The last ballgames that were never played. No chance to say goodbye to a special teacher. The once in a lifetime events that could never be recaptured. It might be known as the Mother's Day when all we really wanted was to hold a new grandbaby or be with someone in the hospital. Maybe we'll remember worrying about a wedding date and wishing we'd known the right thing to do. We might have memories of money being tight or anxiety about the future occupying our minds. Some will look back and still recall the worry of bringing germs home from their essential jobs. Maybe this Mother's Day will be remembered for being extra lonesome in a house that was too quiet and empty. Or we'll reflect on how we felt so alone in our grief after burying someone we loved in the middle of it all. We'll all remember wishing for hugs and the frustration of wanting things to just be right again.

But, in time, it'll be the Mother's Day we'll remember feeling refreshed and less rushed. When our planners were empty and our days were full of possibilities. A moment when we'd marinated in quality time with our people and had soaked in all the goodness. For the first time in a while, we took time to play games, watch home movies, and rock on the porch and watch the rain. It was the year we ate more at the kitchen table than in the car. We read more books. Finished more projects. Prayed more fervently. We took notice of the songs that the birds sang. Lingered outside to watch the sunsets. Sat around crackling fires. Called our mamas more. It will be thought of as the moment we did what we could to help. Brushed off some rusty skills and dabbled with new ones. It will be that time we changed roles with our parents to work as their shield from the world. We'll be thankful for that time we had with our children who'll have flown from the nest by then. We'll remember the long drives, long talks, and long naps. We'll think about the blessing of getting the rest our minds and bodies needed so badly. We'll think about all the time we spent in the kitchen and wish for those days when more legs were under our table. When we look back, we'll recall sitting in the sun, making s'mores, and calling friends on the phone. We'll long for that time when we could hear God's voice speaking to us in the quiet. We'll remember the peace He gave us in the chaos.

I'll turn 52 on Mother's Day. Over dinner, I told Davis and Carson that they'd had all this uninterrupted time to plan the upcoming day to be full of little touches to commemorate my two special days of the year all rolled up into one. With my tongue far, far in my cheek, I went on to say how excited I was that, in just a few short days, I'd finally get to see what they'd undoubtedly been planning for me so diligently and fervently for all these weeks. I'm pretty sure tea squirted out of Davis' nose and Carson turned to his dad and told him they needed to talk. But, Blair and John Samuel are coming, this weekend, so hope springs eternal. Just to be on the safe side, we're going to wait a couple of weeks on our extended family celebration for my mother, but I'll be so happy to have my little group of people together for a bit. It's the very best gift a mama could get.


Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day.

       

I'm sorry I didn't stop by last week. I certainly don't have the excuse that I didn't have the time. I've got nothing but time. Honestly, I tried to sit down and write but nothing was there. My mind was as dry as a powder house as my daddy used to say. I never knew exactly what kind of powder one would keep in this said powder house, but it was kept quite dry there, apparently, just as powder should be. That is how I was feeling. Like dry powder. This quarantine thing was starting to get to me. We've really been sticking close to home as much as we possibly can, but I was starting to exhibit the symptoms of cabin fever. I was getting testy with my quarantine team here at home. I was missing my daughter and son-in-law so much and was wanting to see them. I'd done puzzles, painted by number, read, deep cleaned, cooked, refinished porch rockers, worked in the yard, and I was over all of that. I didn't want to be productive any more. The introverted half of me enjoyed this stay home thing for a couple of weeks, but the extroverted half had finally reached her limit on total isolation.

Then, last Monday, I met my dear friend, Michelle, for a quick minute. We got out of our cars and walked toward each other. These days, you don't know who feels comfortable doing what, you know? So, I waited to read her cues and when she came toward me with her arms out, well, I got so excited. She was my first hug outside my own house since all of this started and it felt so good. It was like a movie scene where two people (or a pig and a frog) run toward each other in a field of tall grass in slow motion as violins play. Yes. That's how it felt. It was a brief, but dramatic encounter and, oh, so good for the soul.  
Later in the week, I went to see my friend, Jean, for my first real social outing of sitting on her patio and eating takeout. She's one of those attention to detail people and very talented in design of all forms, so, instead of eating our Thai food from styrofoam with the included packaged plastic utensils, the picnic looked like the Dowager Countess of Grantham might be joining us. We talked and laughed for a couple of hours, face to face. I came back home a whole different person than the one who'd left here. I felt energized again from just a couple of hours of being with a friend. So good for the spirits.
Today, I went to my Mama's house to sit outside with her for a while. We talk on the phone multiple times a day and I send Carson over a good bit to drop off a plate of something I've cooked or goodies that I think she might enjoy, but we haven't actually seen each other in 3 or 4 weeks. With my Daddy in heaven, she's quarantining alone and I imagine that can get really dull. We kept a safe distance and didn't hug, but we covered a lot of topics and passed the afternoon hours together. She will fall out of her chair when she sees I'm including a picture of her in her quarantine makeup and hair. Quarantine makeup is the barest minimum mode of application which we are all in during this time so to not waste the good stuff while just sitting around in the den. Just enough to keep us from looking like a corpse is the level we're all shooting for right now. Quarantine hair.....well, we all know what that is, but I think my little Mama's has held up quite well. Seeing your Mama is always good for the heart.
We're all just doing the best we can to get through this weirdness. Our state has loosened some of our restrictions, so we can find a safe and responsible way to feed the extroverted part of ourselves when we need to. There's no greater balm for the tensions of the day than to see the face of someone you love. I mean, it's a lot of mental and emotional strain trying to remember to Clorox wipe the Germ-X pump because you touched the pump before you sanitized your hands. And it can start to take a toll when you hear someone coughing on the next aisle at the grocery store and you're trying to recall if the news said the germs linger in the air for 3 minutes or 3 hours or 3 days. In the South, you can get really stressed right now trying to determine if you need a malaria drug or a Claritin. And the pressure to come up with one more thing to do with chicken breasts and a pound of hamburger is relentless. Top it all off with the added weight that, between our masks making our ears stick out, the unruly hair, and overgrown bangs, we all look like Sasquatch robbing a bank.

Be safe, but do find a way to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. We all really need each other. I never fully appreciated just how much until now.

 Much love,
       

If you'd known this Coronavirus situation would've quickly turned into us being banished to our houses, what would you have done to get ready for it? We'd been hearing about the virus for months. Yeah, there were news stories that we listened to casually. We were busy and there were places to be and people to see and what were the odds it would ever affect us here that much? We have a friend from China, who we'd ask for updates on what he was hearing from his family back home. It was solely to show our concern and to pray for the people he loves, not because we were concerned for our country at all. All that was so many miles away and barely on our radar.

If I'd had any idea that we'd be quarantining for two weeks and then two more weeks and who knows how many more, there are some things I would've done to be better prepared. We've got plenty of food and a freezer full of meat and vegetables, so I don't mean that. But, I could kick myself when I have vivid flashbacks of being on the fully-stocked hand sanitizer aisle, a few weeks ago, and strolling right on by thinking we didn't need any of that. Maybe if I'd known to get a case of those Clorox wipes from Sam's, it wouldn't have been necessary for me to implement an approval process for anyone wishing to use one around here. We're working on our only 70 count container, so there's an application that must be submitted for each use. Luckily, I'd just gotten toilet paper when this came about, but maybe I would've grabbed a few more rolls as I've been accused of being extravagant in my usage.

If I'd known what was coming, I would've ordered more puzzles and books to read. I may have feathered our nest with a few more comforting things to make our lockdown more pleasant. Maybe a couple of seasonal candles, some magazines, more pillows and throws for all the couch surfing. I could've had a few more things on hand that we could do together to pass the time. Maybe I would've shopped for more lounge-type clothing. If I'd only known, the last time I was in TJ Maxx, I would've snagged some new comfy shirts and elastic-y pants to give the neighbors a little more variety when I go to the mailbox or water the plants. I certainly would've gotten some home improvement project supplies to keep us more productive in our down time.

Who could've imagined that we should've stocked up on greeting cards and stamps? It never crossed our minds. Life is still happening though- good and bad- and we're limited on how we can express our support to each other. If we'd only known this is how it was going to be, maybe we would've bought ahead on some birthday gifts to leave on front porches. You know, some special ones to have on hand for all the birthdays and special occasions that are passing by with little fanfare.

For sure, I know if I'd had the inside scoop, I would've made a hair appointment for cut and color. The situation has entered the dire phase now. I have the volume of Richard Simmons, the split ends of Cyndi Lauper, and the color of Willie Nelson if you can picture it. Not only would I have gotten an appointment, but I would have suggested she take a little extra off for good measure. And then I would've left the hair appointment and promptly made my way over to the nail salon for a manicure. These are things that would have, at least, boosted morale in lockdown.

Who would've dreamed we'd ever miss church on Easter Sunday? I do believe this is the first Easter I won't be at church in all my 51 years. I'm sure that's true of a lot of you. Maybe if we'd known we'd be at home with our families all day, we would've gotten a special book to share for the season or materials to assemble a cross in the yard or something to make the day especially meaningful. Maybe if we'd known, we would've, at least, made sure we bought what we needed for our usual Easter meal and traditions. We would've been sure we had the coconut cake ingredients and a ham- a small one, of course. We would've grabbed those Cadburys and Peeps when we passed by them in February and thought we had plenty of time to think about Easter baskets. We would've gone ahead and gotten that green plastic grass and two or three bags of Reese's eggs.

There are a lot of things we would've done to prepare for this incredibly unusual time if we'd only known. We were so busy with our work and our lives when we started hearing the rumblings from miles and miles away and so long ago. We didn't think it would ever happen to us and certainly not like this. And if it was going to happen, we thought we had more time.

Preparations can make all the difference. I've found it to be interesting that this time-out has been called during the Easter season. I'm just wondering if, while we're still and quiet, for once, God's wanting to use this undivided attention to deliver a crucial message. Just like we want our children to be still and quiet and look at us when we're talking to them, maybe He's using this situation to emphasize the critical importance of making preparations for something else that's coming. Something bigger. The day we'll meet Him face to face. Maybe wiping our calendars clean, keeping us from work, and getting us all alone was the only way we would ever hear His voice warning us to make the most important preparations of all. Preparations to meet Him when we die or when He comes back.

We may think our death or His return is so far away or maybe we think He won't ever return since it's been so long.

"But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day. The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent." 2 Peter 3:8-9

Just like a pandemic or drop-in company or an unexpected death, we won't know when He'll return, so we need to be prepared.

"Keep watch, because you do not know what day your Lord will come. But understand this; if the owner of the house had known at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect Him."  Matthew 24:42-44

Unlike a pandemic, though, this day won't be anything to fear if we're prepared. On the contrary, it will be the most glorious day.

"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also." John 14:1-3

I remember when my children were teenagers. Like most, they stayed in their rooms a lot. When I wanted to tell them something, I'd go in there and their TVs would be blaring or loud music was playing. I never wanted to tell them anything of any importance until they turned it all off. That way, they could really hear what I was saying to them. I didn't want to have to compete with the noise, because, most of the time, I couldn't. I wanted them to only hear me and what I was trying to say. I wonder if God is using this most unusual time to turn off all the noise and beg us (again) to get ready. To make preparations. To make sure our families are ready. To get our homes in order. To reprioritize our lives. To use our gifts to give honor to Him. To make the most of the time we're blessed to enjoy. I wonder if He's desperately pleading with us to do these things, while we still have time.

It will be an Easter like none we've ever experienced to be sure. We'll get up and I'll cook some breakfast- probably a step or two above what we normally have. There will be an Easter basket of some description set out for our almost 20 year old. Instead of heading to church in our Sunday best, the three of us will watch our church's Easter service on TV- probably in ultra-comfy clothes. We'll likely call Blair and John Samuel and see what they're doing since they can't be with us like usual. There won't be any family photos. We'll check in with our parents as there won't be any family gatherings to enjoy with them. We're set to have pretty severe weather all day, so there won't be any outdoor time, I'm afraid. We'll listen to the weather updates. Maybe take a nap after our lunch. I plan on cooking a roast for dinner. Just the three of us will sit down to enjoy it. Maybe we'll watch an Easter movie after that. It will be quieter than usual. Less hectic than the standard. Nothing like the norm.

Maybe that's what He wants. To take us out of our usual and our standard and our norm, so we can really feel the urgency to make preparations in our lives and our families and our hearts. Preparations for Him.


  Have a blessed Easter,
    

Well, here we are. Another week of home confinement. I don't know how y'all are working things at your house, but, everyday, after I get a shower, I put on some non-pajama type clothing, do something to this ever-growing mop on my head, and put a little Clinique fresh neutral 03 on my face. I find that I'm more productive if I do these things. I've tried to find, at least, one big productive thing to do, each day, on top of the usual cooking, reading, puzzles, treadmill, phone calls. I said I was going to clean the baseboards and plantations shutters at the pace of one room a day. So far, I've done one room. Yesterday, I paired the socks in the laundry basket where all the separated socks go to wait and see if their mates will show back up. That was big fun, so I needed another project for today.

Davis is the only one around here considered essential, so he's still out doing his job and I decided this would be a good day for Carson and me to clean out his storage room off the garage. It's where all the man stuff goes. The fishing things, paint supplies, shovels, axes, hardware, power tools, extension cords. We were on a quest to put some order into the place, while Carson entertained me with his predicted Davis response in his best Davis voice, "Baby, I knew where to find everything just like it was- now I can't find anything." Not to mention the endless string of "Did you throw away that (fill in the blank)?" which is to come in the next few months whenever he can't find something.

We got into trying to organize the hardware section. It must be in the man handbook that you must keep countless paper bags and jars and pill bottles full of random screws and such. I'm not sure what that's about, but if it's the means by which a man is measured, Davis is quite a man. The only thing to rival his nail/screw/bolt collection was his impressive work rag stockpile. I did find a welcomed surprise of a package of face masks in our expansive poison section, which I had no idea was so vast and so deadly. We worked our way over to the car maintenance department and organized it, but the can of Dollar General brake fluid had me concerned that he might be plotting some sort of watered-down store brand brake failure "accident" for me. I may want to mark the levels on those poison bottles, too, just to be sure and he bears watching with that disturbing supply of absorbent crime scene "work rags." You know, these are some tense times being shut up with the same people, day after day.

Carson and I had a lot of laughs working on the storage room. I've enjoyed having him here with us so much even if he is costing us $100 a day in groceries. Some nights, he'll ask us if we want to play cards or dominos. In what other circumstances would he possibly be content to be at home playing dominos with his parents at night?

I couldn't help but think about when he was a little dude- about 4 or 5 years old. We'd just moved in this house and he'd ask me to lie with him for a while after we'd read the Bible and said bedtime prayers. I remember lying there next to him and thinking of all the things I needed to be doing. At the time, I had two young kids and a lot more to do around the house than I do now. After a few minutes of stretching out next to my little man in his dinosaur pajamas, I'd try to slide out of the bed quietly- hoping he wouldn't notice. Invariably, I'd hear his little voice in the dark say, "Mama, stay with me a little longer." Sometimes, the sound was more than I could resist and I'd get back on the bed with him. Other times, I'd tell him I had to get up and do this or that or such and such. As he grew older and more independent, many times, I'd go back to those nights in my mind and remember them with regret. Wishing I'd stayed a little longer with him. That sweet time was so brief and I should have lingered there. I think about that now while I've got him back for what seems like a bonus time- time we could've never anticipated having together right in the middle of his college years. Maybe we can all look at this time as a chance to get back some of what we regret wasting.

I'm really not having a difficult time with this yet. I'm usually not one to stay home more than one day at a time. Two days max and then I'm usually going nuts. I'm always looking for something to do or someone to make lunch plans with, so I can see this getting more distressing as it lingers for a long time. We're all experiencing some weird feelings and situations. There are the big, obvious struggles that we all pray for- the people who are really sick, the healthcare workers, and those with overwhelming financial problems. But, aside from those, there are also new grandparents who haven't held their grandbabies yet. Brides who don't know what to do about their wedding dates. Birthdays that are going uncelebrated. Business owners who can't please everyone. Families burying loved ones without a proper send-off. Parents who don't know how to teach the new math. Graduates who are missing their grand finale. This thing has seeped into a lot of nooks and crannies that we never anticipated.

Our hands are really tied in helping each other through these situations- in our traditional ways, at least. We can't do our usual hands-on, face to face things that we usually do to support each other. This strange time will require us to think outside the box and get creative in showing our love and friendship. This is all new and I'm sure we'll rise to the challenge in finding new ways to do what we do best.

Just think of how happy we'll be when they finally let all the cows out of the barn. We're one day closer to that day. Until then, be safe!

Much love,