Well, I went on a little road trip with some friends last weekend. I know you’ve heard me talk about the many years I spent in the Bible study group that formed a lasting bond. We ranged in age, personality, and backgrounds, but all grew close because of the commonality we shared through Jesus. What I may not have told you was that our group was called The Bad Girls. That’s an odd name for a group of Christian ladies, you might say, but there’s a story. 

One of the studies we did was on the book, Bad Girls of the Bible. It was a study of women like Jezebel, Delilah, and Herodias- all just lovely, lovely ladies. Anyway, every week in the church bulletin, they’d list the church’s weekly calendar and, at first, it would say The Bad Girls of the Bible study group will meet Tuesday at 6:00. A little later on, it started to read, The Bad Girls of the Bible will meet Tuesday at 6:00. Then, finally, it just said “The Bad Girls” will meet Tuesday at 6:00. I’m not sure if the church started having to pay by the word for the bulletin printing or if the office staff just thought the title was appropriate for our group but, either way, I’m sure it caught the attention of new members and it stuck to us like glue. 

Well, one of our favorite Bad Girls, Jan, (pictured in the center) relocated to Georgia, a few years ago, and a few of us hit the road to go visit her. Some of us had been once before and had a most delightful time, so we decided to go again and take along another Bad Girl friend who was especially close to her. Jan is just the epitome of a true southern lady. She is gracious and a hostess to her very core. She is simply beautiful in every way a person can be beautiful and we couldn’t have had a more wonderful visit with her and her family. 

You know you really get to know people when you travel with them. There are just things you’ll never know about a person by just going shopping or out to dinner. Like if they snore (as was reported about me), or if they have a pill organizer the size of a tackle box, or if they’re completely unrecognizable in the morning, or how long their beauty routine takes- you know, things of that nature. But, no matter who you travel with, it’s been my experience that everyone in the group will fall into one of a few categories. Each week, you could go on a trip with a different set of people and, invariably, you’d see them naturally separate into the same varieties of travel companions each time. 

1) First, there’s the one who always wants to be the FRONT SEAT DRIVER. That’s me. I always want to drive whenever possible. Yes, I concede that, perhaps, the front seat driver usually does have some control issues which cause her to blurt out, “Me, me, me,” whenever the driving question arises. After all, the driver determines the background music, speed, departure time and place, temperature, routes, safety factors, gas levels, and stops, so it is really a powerful position to hold. Sure, the driver asks the passengers for their input, but since they didn’t want to drive in the first place, they’re usually of the “We don’t care” variety. If you are like me and always want to drive, then you, like me, may also suffer from the hidden sickness that is a deep-seated desire for control (mwah ha ha ha) for which you might need to seek help as I do.  

2) Next, there’s always a FUN-SIZE BLADDER in every group. A regular bladder will keep the normal person away from the bathroom for approximately 3-4 hours and longer if needed. The fun-size bladder, however, is only good for 3-4 exits before it’s full. The fun-size bladder causes the driver to have to stop more than their controlling tendencies would probably choose, but there’s one in every group and it should be an expected part of any travel experience. Once in the car, this traveler should be limited in regards to her intake of liquids. This one also has very low standards when it comes to where they “go.” A gas station restroom requiring a key, a truck stop, a rest area- it matters not to them. Their urgency trumps any worries of safety or sanitary conditions. It could smell like a septic tank in there and the fun-size bladder only sees the beauty in its offer of impending relief. Since the fun-size bladder is a medical condition, the other travelers are sympathetic and try to cater to the whims of her unusually small organ. 

3) Then, there is the always a BACKSEAT DRIVER. This is a person who doesn’t want to be the front seat driver when it’s being discussed, but always desires to be the driver’s helper. Her position possibly indicates a lower level thirst for control- not quite as strong as the front seat driver’s. This person is best seated directly behind the driver’s seat, which largely shields her view of the speedometer, the road, and most of its goings-on. Invariably, the backseat driver will not be able to hold her comments and will spit out some driver’s education refresher gobbledygook. But, if the backseat helper is trying to refrain from intruding, she may make involuntary guttural noises when a road situation occurs. These may come in the form of air being sucked in between teeth, soft whimpering sounds, or indiscernible mutterings. The backseat driver, sometimes, does have legitimate concerns, but the ratio of legitimate danger versus perceived danger is quite low. But, for those few times, the front seat driver is very thankful for her. 

4) The I DON’T CARE traveler is just there to relax and go with the flow. They don’t care what time they leave, where they eat, where they sit, or if the car is traveling at 120 mph and on fire. As long as they don’t have to make a decision or call the shots, they’re good with whatever is decided among the other travelers. It’s like taking Switzerland on a trip and rarely will she assert herself in any trip deliberations. The little care traveler doesn’t even have an opinion on whether she has to go potty. If everyone else has to potty, then the “I don’t care” traveler can also potty…..but she can also wait if everyone else can wait, so it’s always whatever with her. This traveler is just as happy as she can be as long as everyone else is as happy as they can be. While these types are not your go-to for trip feedback and quick travel decisions, they are usually among the most pleasant and accommodating companions on the road. 

5) There is always a MOTHER in every travel group. This has nothing to do with age or relations, but more to do with their caring nature toward their fellow travelers. She wants to know how everyone slept, reminds them that they may need a jacket, and offers mints after each meal. In the mother’s purse, she always has Band-aids, Tylenol, Advil, Benadryl, Imodium, hydrocortisone cream, an enema, and any other medication that could be needed by anyone in any situation. She’d whip off her scarf if there was need for a tourniquet. This traveler always packs extras of everything in case someone has forgotten theirs. They are always armed with phone chargers and cords and safety pins and Kleenex and snacks and a Tide pen and digital thermometers and change for a dollar. The mother thinks of everything and packs accordingly. She’s on Boy Scout level in the area of preparedness and, often times, she saves the day. 

6) The TIMEKEEPER is always a present force on any trip. She’s that person who decides what time the group needs to wake up to have breakfast, get everyone showered, and out the door at exactly the right time. Such a task requires some mad math skills, especially in the area of subtraction. Prior to the group scattering, she will announce what time everyone is to meet back at the front of the store or at the car. She will give the group warnings when a designated time is approaching, “We need to leave here in 10 minutes to get there by 3:00.” The timekeeper is usually a very organized and structured person and she would prefer a slow death over being late getting back to the predetermined meeting place. The group follows her lead as they recognize her gift of time management. The timekeepers are the ones to point out allowances needed for time zone changes and will make adjustments to the ETA when stops run long. She runs a tight ship and is basically the reason the others don’t miss the boat. 

I’m sure names appeared in your head as they did in mine as you thought about the different kinds of travelers. There are other kinds that I didn’t get to because, well, I’m tired and so we’re stopping at 6. It takes all kinds to make the world (and the wheels) go round. I love all the people traveling through this life with me. Friends, family, mentors, acquaintances. Life’s a journey and everybody has been given something special to share along the way. No two bags are packed just alike, so love all your people for the uniqueness they bring to your life’s passage. It’s no mistake that they’re traveling alongside you. “For such a time as this.”

Happy Weekend to y’all! 

JONI 

First of all, I’m a little behind on things, I want to thank everyone who sent messages about my mother and her bout with Covid and my father-in-law’s passing. It’s certainly been an eventful three weeks in our family. 

Thankfully, my mother recovered from her illness and I never got sick. I stayed home for a whole week to be safe, but never tested positive. Thank the Good Lord, my natural immunity was up to the task. And true to form, until the last few days, Mama’s been giving us all a wide berth ever since she tested positive. I mean, there are the CDC guidelines and then there are Mama’s guidelines. Those are much, much more stringent. I mean, if the Center for Disease Control says 10 days is good to avoid the spread, then 20 days would have to be so much better. Never let it be said of her that she passed along a germ. 

I missed you all last week. We were just out of sorts emotionally and taking care of those things that require attention when there’s a death in the family. God really worked out so many things in those days and in ways that only He could. Not the least of which was providing a perfect home for Gramps’ dog, Coco, as we found out really quickly that jealous Ruby was not a fan of giving up her only child status. One of the first responders took an immediate interest in Coco on that sad morning and thought of his co-worker who was mourning the loss of his little dog. The man who was missing his dog was eventually joined with the dog who was missing his man and, from our latest report, the two of them together are a match made in heaven. Coco is enjoying truck rides to Petco, riding on a four-wheeler in the woods, playing with his two cat siblings, and overall royal and privileged treatment. They both found their missing pieces in each other, which has been an emotional relief for us all. He was such a loyal friend to my father-in-law and we had to be sure he was going to a happy and loving place. Sounds like he certainly found it. God takes care of all of His creatures. I believe in Him and not coincidence. Many happy years to you, Coco. 

We’ve spent the last week writing notes, making phone calls, cleaning out cabinets, a refrigerator, and going through boxes of pictures. I’ve seen bits and pieces of my children’s faces in some of those photos. I’ve seen the parts of history that their family tree survived. I’ve heard stories of the kind of stuff their people were made of. I love history- especially learning more about my children’s family history. I believe we’re all the sum of so many pieces and parts of those who came before us and we’re carefully put together with what we’ll need for the time and task we’re each given. 

The one thing that stood out as the closest family members would arrive at Gramps’ house and walk in the door for the first time since his death, well, that was the moment when the emotions would overwhelm them. There’s just something about being in a person’s home- the smells, the places where they should be, their things-  they highlight their absence and make it real. One day, someone will go through all of our things, sit in our houses without us there, and tell our stories. What will those people remember? What was it about us that made a difference in their lives? We’re all busy building legacies. May we build good and lasting ones. 

Next week, I’ll be back to regular programming. Sometimes, life just happens and I have to take a pause, but we’ll get back on track. 

Happy Thursday!

JONI 

Today has been a sad day. I lost my father-in-law, this morning. More importantly, Davis lost his Daddy. My kids lost their Gramps. Coco, his dog, lost his best buddy. He was 90, but I guess, no matter how old, we’re never really ready to give up the ones we love. 

He was such a lovable character. He loved his family and was so proud of his sons and grandchildren. He got a lot of joy out of dispensing white bank envelopes at Christmas and on birthdays. He had an endearing wit and liked to tell stories from his military days. He served in Vietnam, Saudi Arabia, Germany, and a lot of other faraway places and we’re all so proud of his service and accomplishments. Even though he was retired from the Air Force, he never retired from military discipline. Predictable doesn’t even begin to cover it. He liked everything to be the same and to be done in the same way- every single day. He was very thorough and conscientious and if he wasn’t 30 minutes early, he considered himself to be late. He could be direct, but we all knew that was the matter of fact-ness he’d learned in the service and took it in stride. He lived out in the country and never liked to be gone away from home for too long. He loved to share the bounty of his blueberry bushes, fig and pear trees, and catfish ponds with neighbors and friends from church. He was very generous with all that he had. He was a man of God and prayed the most humble and sweet prayers. He took such good and faithful care of his sweetheart through in her decline with dementia. He was determined to continue doing the work around his place himself even when it might not have been the safest option. He valued his independence and wanted to do what he could for as long as he could do it. He was a good man with a good heart and his presence will be missed in our lives. 

Through the years, Davis and I have lost a lot of loved ones, but most of them have been after a long period of terrible sickness or mental decline, where their eventual death had already been accepted in small increments along the descending way. But, while Gramps did have health problems, he was still a very active and present part of our lives, so it feels a bit different. I suppose, even at 90, when a soul’s light is snuffed out from our presence all at once, it’s harder for the heart to adjust to the sudden darkness that it leaves than if it had been slowly dimmed to dark. I’m not sure either way is easy, but they are felt differently in the heart. 

Davis has lost both of his parents now. Whenever that happens, a lot of changes are sure to follow. The old home place likely won’t be the gathering site for family events and holidays. That’s usually the way it goes. I remember when my grandparents’ homes were left empty. The place that was once the hub of family activities, became just a shell of a house. The homes had lost their heart- the thing that had drawn us there and had made them so very dear. Such is the course of life and we’re reminded to make the most of our years and start new traditions with the younger generations, while never letting them forget the old. It’s where they came from and part of who they are. 

Even at the end of life, God is so good and faithful. It’s, sometimes, easy to forget how He’s able to answer our prayers in very specific ways until He gives us undeniable reminders. He’s given us plenty of those today. God gave Gramps the gift of a peaceful end and so many other mercies for which we hadn’t even thought to pray. He is a loving and merciful Father. 

Night, friends. 

JONI