Well, I went on a little road trip with some friends last weekend. I know you’ve heard me talk about the many years I spent in the Bible study group that formed a lasting bond. We ranged in age, personality, and backgrounds, but all grew close because of the commonality we shared through Jesus. What I may not have told you was that our group was called The Bad Girls. That’s an odd name for a group of Christian ladies, you might say, but there’s a story. 

One of the studies we did was on the book, Bad Girls of the Bible. It was a study of women like Jezebel, Delilah, and Herodias- all just lovely, lovely ladies. Anyway, every week in the church bulletin, they’d list the church’s weekly calendar and, at first, it would say The Bad Girls of the Bible study group will meet Tuesday at 6:00. A little later on, it started to read, The Bad Girls of the Bible will meet Tuesday at 6:00. Then, finally, it just said “The Bad Girls” will meet Tuesday at 6:00. I’m not sure if the church started having to pay by the word for the bulletin printing or if the office staff just thought the title was appropriate for our group but, either way, I’m sure it caught the attention of new members and it stuck to us like glue. 

Well, one of our favorite Bad Girls, Jan, (pictured in the center) relocated to Georgia, a few years ago, and a few of us hit the road to go visit her. Some of us had been once before and had a most delightful time, so we decided to go again and take along another Bad Girl friend who was especially close to her. Jan is just the epitome of a true southern lady. She is gracious and a hostess to her very core. She is simply beautiful in every way a person can be beautiful and we couldn’t have had a more wonderful visit with her and her family. 

You know you really get to know people when you travel with them. There are just things you’ll never know about a person by just going shopping or out to dinner. Like if they snore (as was reported about me), or if they have a pill organizer the size of a tackle box, or if they’re completely unrecognizable in the morning, or how long their beauty routine takes- you know, things of that nature. But, no matter who you travel with, it’s been my experience that everyone in the group will fall into one of a few categories. Each week, you could go on a trip with a different set of people and, invariably, you’d see them naturally separate into the same varieties of travel companions each time. 

1) First, there’s the one who always wants to be the FRONT SEAT DRIVER. That’s me. I always want to drive whenever possible. Yes, I concede that, perhaps, the front seat driver usually does have some control issues which cause her to blurt out, “Me, me, me,” whenever the driving question arises. After all, the driver determines the background music, speed, departure time and place, temperature, routes, safety factors, gas levels, and stops, so it is really a powerful position to hold. Sure, the driver asks the passengers for their input, but since they didn’t want to drive in the first place, they’re usually of the “We don’t care” variety. If you are like me and always want to drive, then you, like me, may also suffer from the hidden sickness that is a deep-seated desire for control (mwah ha ha ha) for which you might need to seek help as I do.  

2) Next, there’s always a FUN-SIZE BLADDER in every group. A regular bladder will keep the normal person away from the bathroom for approximately 3-4 hours and longer if needed. The fun-size bladder, however, is only good for 3-4 exits before it’s full. The fun-size bladder causes the driver to have to stop more than their controlling tendencies would probably choose, but there’s one in every group and it should be an expected part of any travel experience. Once in the car, this traveler should be limited in regards to her intake of liquids. This one also has very low standards when it comes to where they “go.” A gas station restroom requiring a key, a truck stop, a rest area- it matters not to them. Their urgency trumps any worries of safety or sanitary conditions. It could smell like a septic tank in there and the fun-size bladder only sees the beauty in its offer of impending relief. Since the fun-size bladder is a medical condition, the other travelers are sympathetic and try to cater to the whims of her unusually small organ. 

3) Then, there is the always a BACKSEAT DRIVER. This is a person who doesn’t want to be the front seat driver when it’s being discussed, but always desires to be the driver’s helper. Her position possibly indicates a lower level thirst for control- not quite as strong as the front seat driver’s. This person is best seated directly behind the driver’s seat, which largely shields her view of the speedometer, the road, and most of its goings-on. Invariably, the backseat driver will not be able to hold her comments and will spit out some driver’s education refresher gobbledygook. But, if the backseat helper is trying to refrain from intruding, she may make involuntary guttural noises when a road situation occurs. These may come in the form of air being sucked in between teeth, soft whimpering sounds, or indiscernible mutterings. The backseat driver, sometimes, does have legitimate concerns, but the ratio of legitimate danger versus perceived danger is quite low. But, for those few times, the front seat driver is very thankful for her. 

4) The I DON’T CARE traveler is just there to relax and go with the flow. They don’t care what time they leave, where they eat, where they sit, or if the car is traveling at 120 mph and on fire. As long as they don’t have to make a decision or call the shots, they’re good with whatever is decided among the other travelers. It’s like taking Switzerland on a trip and rarely will she assert herself in any trip deliberations. The little care traveler doesn’t even have an opinion on whether she has to go potty. If everyone else has to potty, then the “I don’t care” traveler can also potty…..but she can also wait if everyone else can wait, so it’s always whatever with her. This traveler is just as happy as she can be as long as everyone else is as happy as they can be. While these types are not your go-to for trip feedback and quick travel decisions, they are usually among the most pleasant and accommodating companions on the road. 

5) There is always a MOTHER in every travel group. This has nothing to do with age or relations, but more to do with their caring nature toward their fellow travelers. She wants to know how everyone slept, reminds them that they may need a jacket, and offers mints after each meal. In the mother’s purse, she always has Band-aids, Tylenol, Advil, Benadryl, Imodium, hydrocortisone cream, an enema, and any other medication that could be needed by anyone in any situation. She’d whip off her scarf if there was need for a tourniquet. This traveler always packs extras of everything in case someone has forgotten theirs. They are always armed with phone chargers and cords and safety pins and Kleenex and snacks and a Tide pen and digital thermometers and change for a dollar. The mother thinks of everything and packs accordingly. She’s on Boy Scout level in the area of preparedness and, often times, she saves the day. 

6) The TIMEKEEPER is always a present force on any trip. She’s that person who decides what time the group needs to wake up to have breakfast, get everyone showered, and out the door at exactly the right time. Such a task requires some mad math skills, especially in the area of subtraction. Prior to the group scattering, she will announce what time everyone is to meet back at the front of the store or at the car. She will give the group warnings when a designated time is approaching, “We need to leave here in 10 minutes to get there by 3:00.” The timekeeper is usually a very organized and structured person and she would prefer a slow death over being late getting back to the predetermined meeting place. The group follows her lead as they recognize her gift of time management. The timekeepers are the ones to point out allowances needed for time zone changes and will make adjustments to the ETA when stops run long. She runs a tight ship and is basically the reason the others don’t miss the boat. 

I’m sure names appeared in your head as they did in mine as you thought about the different kinds of travelers. There are other kinds that I didn’t get to because, well, I’m tired and so we’re stopping at 6. It takes all kinds to make the world (and the wheels) go round. I love all the people traveling through this life with me. Friends, family, mentors, acquaintances. Life’s a journey and everybody has been given something special to share along the way. No two bags are packed just alike, so love all your people for the uniqueness they bring to your life’s passage. It’s no mistake that they’re traveling alongside you. “For such a time as this.”

Happy Weekend to y’all! 

JONI