I'm sorry I didn't stop by last week. I certainly don't have the excuse that I didn't have the time. I've got nothing but time. Honestly, I tried to sit down and write but nothing was there. My mind was as dry as a powder house as my daddy used to say. I never knew exactly what kind of powder one would keep in this said powder house, but it was kept quite dry there, apparently, just as powder should be. That is how I was feeling. Like dry powder. This quarantine thing was starting to get to me. We've really been sticking close to home as much as we possibly can, but I was starting to exhibit the symptoms of cabin fever. I was getting testy with my quarantine team here at home. I was missing my daughter and son-in-law so much and was wanting to see them. I'd done puzzles, painted by number, read, deep cleaned, cooked, refinished porch rockers, worked in the yard, and I was over all of that. I didn't want to be productive any more. The introverted half of me enjoyed this stay home thing for a couple of weeks, but the extroverted half had finally reached her limit on total isolation.

Then, last Monday, I met my dear friend, Michelle, for a quick minute. We got out of our cars and walked toward each other. These days, you don't know who feels comfortable doing what, you know? So, I waited to read her cues and when she came toward me with her arms out, well, I got so excited. She was my first hug outside my own house since all of this started and it felt so good. It was like a movie scene where two people (or a pig and a frog) run toward each other in a field of tall grass in slow motion as violins play. Yes. That's how it felt. It was a brief, but dramatic encounter and, oh, so good for the soul.  
Later in the week, I went to see my friend, Jean, for my first real social outing of sitting on her patio and eating takeout. She's one of those attention to detail people and very talented in design of all forms, so, instead of eating our Thai food from styrofoam with the included packaged plastic utensils, the picnic looked like the Dowager Countess of Grantham might be joining us. We talked and laughed for a couple of hours, face to face. I came back home a whole different person than the one who'd left here. I felt energized again from just a couple of hours of being with a friend. So good for the spirits.
Today, I went to my Mama's house to sit outside with her for a while. We talk on the phone multiple times a day and I send Carson over a good bit to drop off a plate of something I've cooked or goodies that I think she might enjoy, but we haven't actually seen each other in 3 or 4 weeks. With my Daddy in heaven, she's quarantining alone and I imagine that can get really dull. We kept a safe distance and didn't hug, but we covered a lot of topics and passed the afternoon hours together. She will fall out of her chair when she sees I'm including a picture of her in her quarantine makeup and hair. Quarantine makeup is the barest minimum mode of application which we are all in during this time so to not waste the good stuff while just sitting around in the den. Just enough to keep us from looking like a corpse is the level we're all shooting for right now. Quarantine hair.....well, we all know what that is, but I think my little Mama's has held up quite well. Seeing your Mama is always good for the heart.
We're all just doing the best we can to get through this weirdness. Our state has loosened some of our restrictions, so we can find a safe and responsible way to feed the extroverted part of ourselves when we need to. There's no greater balm for the tensions of the day than to see the face of someone you love. I mean, it's a lot of mental and emotional strain trying to remember to Clorox wipe the Germ-X pump because you touched the pump before you sanitized your hands. And it can start to take a toll when you hear someone coughing on the next aisle at the grocery store and you're trying to recall if the news said the germs linger in the air for 3 minutes or 3 hours or 3 days. In the South, you can get really stressed right now trying to determine if you need a malaria drug or a Claritin. And the pressure to come up with one more thing to do with chicken breasts and a pound of hamburger is relentless. Top it all off with the added weight that, between our masks making our ears stick out, the unruly hair, and overgrown bangs, we all look like Sasquatch robbing a bank.

Be safe, but do find a way to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. We all really need each other. I never fully appreciated just how much until now.

 Much love,
       

If you'd known this Coronavirus situation would've quickly turned into us being banished to our houses, what would you have done to get ready for it? We'd been hearing about the virus for months. Yeah, there were news stories that we listened to casually. We were busy and there were places to be and people to see and what were the odds it would ever affect us here that much? We have a friend from China, who we'd ask for updates on what he was hearing from his family back home. It was solely to show our concern and to pray for the people he loves, not because we were concerned for our country at all. All that was so many miles away and barely on our radar.

If I'd had any idea that we'd be quarantining for two weeks and then two more weeks and who knows how many more, there are some things I would've done to be better prepared. We've got plenty of food and a freezer full of meat and vegetables, so I don't mean that. But, I could kick myself when I have vivid flashbacks of being on the fully-stocked hand sanitizer aisle, a few weeks ago, and strolling right on by thinking we didn't need any of that. Maybe if I'd known to get a case of those Clorox wipes from Sam's, it wouldn't have been necessary for me to implement an approval process for anyone wishing to use one around here. We're working on our only 70 count container, so there's an application that must be submitted for each use. Luckily, I'd just gotten toilet paper when this came about, but maybe I would've grabbed a few more rolls as I've been accused of being extravagant in my usage.

If I'd known what was coming, I would've ordered more puzzles and books to read. I may have feathered our nest with a few more comforting things to make our lockdown more pleasant. Maybe a couple of seasonal candles, some magazines, more pillows and throws for all the couch surfing. I could've had a few more things on hand that we could do together to pass the time. Maybe I would've shopped for more lounge-type clothing. If I'd only known, the last time I was in TJ Maxx, I would've snagged some new comfy shirts and elastic-y pants to give the neighbors a little more variety when I go to the mailbox or water the plants. I certainly would've gotten some home improvement project supplies to keep us more productive in our down time.

Who could've imagined that we should've stocked up on greeting cards and stamps? It never crossed our minds. Life is still happening though- good and bad- and we're limited on how we can express our support to each other. If we'd only known this is how it was going to be, maybe we would've bought ahead on some birthday gifts to leave on front porches. You know, some special ones to have on hand for all the birthdays and special occasions that are passing by with little fanfare.

For sure, I know if I'd had the inside scoop, I would've made a hair appointment for cut and color. The situation has entered the dire phase now. I have the volume of Richard Simmons, the split ends of Cyndi Lauper, and the color of Willie Nelson if you can picture it. Not only would I have gotten an appointment, but I would have suggested she take a little extra off for good measure. And then I would've left the hair appointment and promptly made my way over to the nail salon for a manicure. These are things that would have, at least, boosted morale in lockdown.

Who would've dreamed we'd ever miss church on Easter Sunday? I do believe this is the first Easter I won't be at church in all my 51 years. I'm sure that's true of a lot of you. Maybe if we'd known we'd be at home with our families all day, we would've gotten a special book to share for the season or materials to assemble a cross in the yard or something to make the day especially meaningful. Maybe if we'd known, we would've, at least, made sure we bought what we needed for our usual Easter meal and traditions. We would've been sure we had the coconut cake ingredients and a ham- a small one, of course. We would've grabbed those Cadburys and Peeps when we passed by them in February and thought we had plenty of time to think about Easter baskets. We would've gone ahead and gotten that green plastic grass and two or three bags of Reese's eggs.

There are a lot of things we would've done to prepare for this incredibly unusual time if we'd only known. We were so busy with our work and our lives when we started hearing the rumblings from miles and miles away and so long ago. We didn't think it would ever happen to us and certainly not like this. And if it was going to happen, we thought we had more time.

Preparations can make all the difference. I've found it to be interesting that this time-out has been called during the Easter season. I'm just wondering if, while we're still and quiet, for once, God's wanting to use this undivided attention to deliver a crucial message. Just like we want our children to be still and quiet and look at us when we're talking to them, maybe He's using this situation to emphasize the critical importance of making preparations for something else that's coming. Something bigger. The day we'll meet Him face to face. Maybe wiping our calendars clean, keeping us from work, and getting us all alone was the only way we would ever hear His voice warning us to make the most important preparations of all. Preparations to meet Him when we die or when He comes back.

We may think our death or His return is so far away or maybe we think He won't ever return since it's been so long.

"But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day. The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent." 2 Peter 3:8-9

Just like a pandemic or drop-in company or an unexpected death, we won't know when He'll return, so we need to be prepared.

"Keep watch, because you do not know what day your Lord will come. But understand this; if the owner of the house had known at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect Him."  Matthew 24:42-44

Unlike a pandemic, though, this day won't be anything to fear if we're prepared. On the contrary, it will be the most glorious day.

"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also." John 14:1-3

I remember when my children were teenagers. Like most, they stayed in their rooms a lot. When I wanted to tell them something, I'd go in there and their TVs would be blaring or loud music was playing. I never wanted to tell them anything of any importance until they turned it all off. That way, they could really hear what I was saying to them. I didn't want to have to compete with the noise, because, most of the time, I couldn't. I wanted them to only hear me and what I was trying to say. I wonder if God is using this most unusual time to turn off all the noise and beg us (again) to get ready. To make preparations. To make sure our families are ready. To get our homes in order. To reprioritize our lives. To use our gifts to give honor to Him. To make the most of the time we're blessed to enjoy. I wonder if He's desperately pleading with us to do these things, while we still have time.

It will be an Easter like none we've ever experienced to be sure. We'll get up and I'll cook some breakfast- probably a step or two above what we normally have. There will be an Easter basket of some description set out for our almost 20 year old. Instead of heading to church in our Sunday best, the three of us will watch our church's Easter service on TV- probably in ultra-comfy clothes. We'll likely call Blair and John Samuel and see what they're doing since they can't be with us like usual. There won't be any family photos. We'll check in with our parents as there won't be any family gatherings to enjoy with them. We're set to have pretty severe weather all day, so there won't be any outdoor time, I'm afraid. We'll listen to the weather updates. Maybe take a nap after our lunch. I plan on cooking a roast for dinner. Just the three of us will sit down to enjoy it. Maybe we'll watch an Easter movie after that. It will be quieter than usual. Less hectic than the standard. Nothing like the norm.

Maybe that's what He wants. To take us out of our usual and our standard and our norm, so we can really feel the urgency to make preparations in our lives and our families and our hearts. Preparations for Him.


  Have a blessed Easter,
    

Well, here we are. Another week of home confinement. I don't know how y'all are working things at your house, but, everyday, after I get a shower, I put on some non-pajama type clothing, do something to this ever-growing mop on my head, and put a little Clinique fresh neutral 03 on my face. I find that I'm more productive if I do these things. I've tried to find, at least, one big productive thing to do, each day, on top of the usual cooking, reading, puzzles, treadmill, phone calls. I said I was going to clean the baseboards and plantations shutters at the pace of one room a day. So far, I've done one room. Yesterday, I paired the socks in the laundry basket where all the separated socks go to wait and see if their mates will show back up. That was big fun, so I needed another project for today.

Davis is the only one around here considered essential, so he's still out doing his job and I decided this would be a good day for Carson and me to clean out his storage room off the garage. It's where all the man stuff goes. The fishing things, paint supplies, shovels, axes, hardware, power tools, extension cords. We were on a quest to put some order into the place, while Carson entertained me with his predicted Davis response in his best Davis voice, "Baby, I knew where to find everything just like it was- now I can't find anything." Not to mention the endless string of "Did you throw away that (fill in the blank)?" which is to come in the next few months whenever he can't find something.

We got into trying to organize the hardware section. It must be in the man handbook that you must keep countless paper bags and jars and pill bottles full of random screws and such. I'm not sure what that's about, but if it's the means by which a man is measured, Davis is quite a man. The only thing to rival his nail/screw/bolt collection was his impressive work rag stockpile. I did find a welcomed surprise of a package of face masks in our expansive poison section, which I had no idea was so vast and so deadly. We worked our way over to the car maintenance department and organized it, but the can of Dollar General brake fluid had me concerned that he might be plotting some sort of watered-down store brand brake failure "accident" for me. I may want to mark the levels on those poison bottles, too, just to be sure and he bears watching with that disturbing supply of absorbent crime scene "work rags." You know, these are some tense times being shut up with the same people, day after day.

Carson and I had a lot of laughs working on the storage room. I've enjoyed having him here with us so much even if he is costing us $100 a day in groceries. Some nights, he'll ask us if we want to play cards or dominos. In what other circumstances would he possibly be content to be at home playing dominos with his parents at night?

I couldn't help but think about when he was a little dude- about 4 or 5 years old. We'd just moved in this house and he'd ask me to lie with him for a while after we'd read the Bible and said bedtime prayers. I remember lying there next to him and thinking of all the things I needed to be doing. At the time, I had two young kids and a lot more to do around the house than I do now. After a few minutes of stretching out next to my little man in his dinosaur pajamas, I'd try to slide out of the bed quietly- hoping he wouldn't notice. Invariably, I'd hear his little voice in the dark say, "Mama, stay with me a little longer." Sometimes, the sound was more than I could resist and I'd get back on the bed with him. Other times, I'd tell him I had to get up and do this or that or such and such. As he grew older and more independent, many times, I'd go back to those nights in my mind and remember them with regret. Wishing I'd stayed a little longer with him. That sweet time was so brief and I should have lingered there. I think about that now while I've got him back for what seems like a bonus time- time we could've never anticipated having together right in the middle of his college years. Maybe we can all look at this time as a chance to get back some of what we regret wasting.

I'm really not having a difficult time with this yet. I'm usually not one to stay home more than one day at a time. Two days max and then I'm usually going nuts. I'm always looking for something to do or someone to make lunch plans with, so I can see this getting more distressing as it lingers for a long time. We're all experiencing some weird feelings and situations. There are the big, obvious struggles that we all pray for- the people who are really sick, the healthcare workers, and those with overwhelming financial problems. But, aside from those, there are also new grandparents who haven't held their grandbabies yet. Brides who don't know what to do about their wedding dates. Birthdays that are going uncelebrated. Business owners who can't please everyone. Families burying loved ones without a proper send-off. Parents who don't know how to teach the new math. Graduates who are missing their grand finale. This thing has seeped into a lot of nooks and crannies that we never anticipated.

Our hands are really tied in helping each other through these situations- in our traditional ways, at least. We can't do our usual hands-on, face to face things that we usually do to support each other. This strange time will require us to think outside the box and get creative in showing our love and friendship. This is all new and I'm sure we'll rise to the challenge in finding new ways to do what we do best.

Just think of how happy we'll be when they finally let all the cows out of the barn. We're one day closer to that day. Until then, be safe!

Much love,
     

Well, today, I thought I'd just ramble on about random things as they come in my head concerning this current quarantine situation. Quarantine is one of our new vocabulary words that we've all learned how to use in a sentence as of late. It's a word we never used much until now. When I first texted the word, a couple of weeks ago, my predictive texting had no idea what I was about to say. It guessed quaint, quarter, Quaalude, quail, quality, quarry. It never even thought of quarantine. Now, I go anywhere close to the "Q" on the keypad and it's sure I'm wanting to say "quarantine".

Little did any of us realize how important the timing of our last hair appointments would be. Sadly, I was due a cut and color when this all went down and so I can tell you it's not going to be pretty if this lasts much longer. A couple of things about my hair. First, it grows at a rate that impresses kudzu and so, like dog years, 6 weeks for your hair is like 42 weeks for mine. And it's so thick that it not only gets long, but it gets big. Factor in the already grayed roots and the progression to date can be seen below from right to left. Can you imagine the waiting list for your hair stylist when this is all over? And we're all going to look hideous while we stand by for our appointments to roll around. It will be a difficult time. I'm hoping they take the most severe cases first.
     

A few weeks ago, we hired an old friend, Tim, to come and give our landscaping a good pruning as that's his profession and area of expertise. Over the course of many years, our shrubbery had gotten a little out of shape and a bit too large. Despite our best efforts to keep it looking good, well, it's just not our area of expertise. It's also front porch season and the bushes were starting to block our view of the lake from our swings and rockers and we certainly couldn't have that.

Tim came out for a consultation and we went outside to talk about what he needed to do. I told him my areas of concern and he told me what he thought needed attention. The camellias had gotten too big and overpowering. The jasmine had taken over and choked out the mondo grass. The tree-form ligustrum had way too much going on. The hollies had lost their way and their natural form. The nandinas were being shut down by the azaleas. The gardenias were leggy and their beauty had all but left. And the Indian hawthorns were in need of new cloaks of healthier foliage. I mean, from a galloping horse, the landscaping looked pretty good, but, let's just say, there were some issues when you looked really closely.

We came up with a time for Tim to come back and do the work and he warned me that it was going to look pretty bad for a while as he'd be doing some severe trimming in some spots and drastic cut backs in others. He assured me it would grow back quickly and the results would be much more pleasing in the end, so I was willing to forge ahead through that awkward period in which the neighbors would surely point and stare.

Davis and I were going to be out of town when Tim came to work, so when we got home and turned up the driveway, it was quite a jolt. It wasn't so much that some of the bushes were cut back practically to the ground, because I expected that. But, everything looked like it had its own place and purpose and identity. It wasn't just one overgrown, unhealthy, competing mass anymore. And the overall picture was clearer. I could see the house better. I could see the front porch again. I could see the bricks under the porch that had been hidden. I could see the lake from the swings and everything looked like it did when it was all new. It had been so long since I'd seen it that way. I was tickled even though it did look like Edward Scissorhands had paid us a visit after an episode of binge drinking.

I tell you that boring horticulture story, because I feel like that's where we are in all of this. This is a pretty drastic pruning back of our lives that we're being asked to do. Goodness knows, I've never experienced anything like this in my lifetime. We're trimming away the physical contact we have with each other and cutting back the places where we overlap and touch. We're each being asked to draw back to our own habitat and our own core. It's not really something any of us want to do, but we could use this time as a reset.

Maybe we all need to be pruned back to the basics. Maybe we can grow back kinder with more tender, supple exteriors. Maybe we can harbor less weeds and thorns that inflict pain. Maybe we'll start to grow in the right direction. Maybe we can take in better nutrients. Maybe we'll help develop stronger root systems for the branches that we support. Maybe we'll start to see the beauty in others and appreciate their place in the big picture. Maybe we'll learn how to depend on our Maker again. Maybe we'll move toward the light and away from the darkness. Maybe we'll be willing to let go of those limbs that protrude and infringe on others. Maybe we can give attention to those parts of us that are hurt and unhealthy. And, after a time, maybe we can come back new and refreshed and stronger. Maybe we'll find more that is admirable and of good report when we reunite. Maybe we'll see that we do need each other. Maybe we'll realize that we are better together.

I have friends who've waited their whole lives for someone to tell them to stay home and keep away from people. I have others who are already climbing the walls and needing a night out. Some people are hoarding. Some are stressing. Some aren't paying the news one bit of attention. Nobody really knows where this is headed or for how long, but I hope we can use our alone time wisely. Even if it's for an unfortunate reason, we may never have another time like this again. A time-out has been called in life. An opportunity to do all of those things we claimed we never had time for. A moment we can slow down and learn and grow from our adversity. Let's all go back to where we were planted and start over from the ground up. Each from her own beginnings. Each along with her Creator. And, after a while, may we come back together more holy and lovely and united than ever before.

"I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful...…
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
John 15:1-2, 5          



Praying for the health and safety of you and your families. Let's do what's asked of us so we can come back together sooner!



 

My Blair is very health conscious. I don't know anyone who is more committed to being healthy than she is. She's always been interested in exercise, eating right, and doing what she can to stay fit and well and she sends Davis and me information on how we can do the same. Like a lot of her generation, she reads a good bit about food, cosmetics, and hygiene/cleaning products and which ones are deemed healthy and which are considered harmful. And I'm certainly not criticizing, but these younger people are really into the clean, organic, all-natural products. I'm not even really sure what all of it means. They want cage-free, dye-free, antibiotic-free, chemical-free, hormone-free, GMO-free. That's not a bad thing. There's just so much that we, their parents, never gave much thought to like phosphates, aluminum, sulfates, nitrates, BPA, parabens, triclosan, and other things that I can't pronounce or spell. Blair's gifted me with all-natural cleaners, hand sanitizers, lotions, and soaps in an effort to get us in the habit of using less chemicals around this lethal place and I've really liked them all. She also directed me to get the Think Dirty app to check the safety ratings on all the products I use regularly. She's also the one appointed to explain the salacious sounding app to anyone who questions it in the event of my untimely demise.

I don't think my generation is really to blame for the blind eye we've turned to such things. I mean we were raised by people, who smoked with the car windows up, while the kids suffocated in the back seat with their own candy cigarettes in hand. If we walked in the house and the noxious combination of Pine-Sol, Clorox, and Comet caused immediate respiratory distress, well, we knew it was cleaning day and we needed to just turn around and go back outside. These are the parents who let us wander around inside the car as it barreled down the interstate with only an extended arm between us and the windshield. They put us in carcinogen-laced flame retardant pajamas and sent us off to bed. We rode down big hills balancing on our brother's handlebars with nothing on our heads but twin bead ponytail holders. These people stuck bars of soap in our mouths when we said ugly words. They watched us run behind the mosquito truck and did nothing but wave. No, health conscious isn't what I'd call our parents, who were the first to feed their kids mac and cheese and orange juice - both in powder form. So, it's not really our fault that we're not as alarmed about health risks as those who've come after us. Our entire childhood was one big health risk and we're the proud survivors.

Well, one trip home, Blair told me about the potentially harmful ingredients in deodorant. I'd seen all of those more natural deodorant alternatives in the stores, but she and some friends had tried several and she'd found one that was working for her. I decided I'd give it a whirl. I mean, I've used deodorant for quite a few years now, but I guess it's never too late to make a change in the interest of longevity and becoming a drain on the kids' inheritance.

Well, I tried one and, at the end of the day, I wasn't quite sure it was up to the task. I used another brand and noticed that, after I exercised, there were smells similar to what you'd expect to come wafting from the Cowboys' locker room after a long day of summer camp. I thought, "Ok,  I'm apparently just a sweatier person than Blair. A more beastly woman. Less estrogen-ous and more menopausal-ous." Yeah, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that I'm not near as delicate and prissy as her, so I just needed to find another brand that was suited for a sturdier, more hardy woman like myself. I tried another chemical-free brand and another and, both times, I reminded myself of a large man, who'd been working out in the field all day. There are some products from which I can accept a little less in the interest of good health, but deodorant is not one of them. I did finally find a $24 mail-order deodorant that works better than any I'd ever used, toxic or non-toxic, if you don't mind the feeling of pine tar under your arms and itching so bad that you scratch your armpits all day like an ape. I finally realized that for this menopausal season, at least, the more natural deodorants didn't contain the ingredient that makes deodorant actually work for me. Whatever that ingredient is. Taking it out produced results that were less than ideal.

I couldn't help but think that's what we've done with God in our society. He's been labeled as harmful and detrimental and there are constant efforts to remove any trace of the offending "toxin". Even with all the attempts to convince us that He's causing problems, actually, the further we push away from Him, the more dire our situation becomes. We've been conditioned to be politically correct in our speech and carefully craft our words to avoid exposing anyone to the offensive element as sensitivity levels are out the roof. We've made our best efforts to do school, discipline, parenting, law, family, business- all without God. What we're seeing is that He was actually the ingredient that made it all work like it's supposed to and taking Him out of the mix has left us with a mess. You might even say a big, smelly one.

But, because it's never my intention to leave us feeling depressed, I want us to challenge ourselves to make bold efforts to put God back into our piece of the world. Refuse to sit quietly and fear repercussions. Reverse the brainwashing that God's word is something we should whisper. Don't allow Him to be taken off of every public corner in our society. Don't stand by and watch His name being treated like a toxicant. We can turn this thing around if we put Him back into the formula. We know that only God can take things that are broken and make them whole again. He can light up the places that were overwhelmed with darkness. He can bring hope where despair had made its home. He can write new beginnings where there seemed to be nothing left but an end. He always has been and always will be the active ingredient.

"There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death." Proverbs 14:12

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

"I am the Light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life." John 8:12



Y'all have a lovely weekend!   

        

You know it's been a heartbreaking week for people in our community. I pray for everyone, everywhere, who's suffering at the cruel hands of cancer. Tonight, there are anxious minds, financial worries, pain and weakness, devastated hearts, and pronounced absences brought on by that terrible word.

I ask that you'd quiet the mind that is filled with ominous and racing thoughts. Give strength for the family member who sits in a hospital room, day after day. Give comfort to the parent faced with an unnatural order of death. I pray for the bodies that are weak and the frustration that comes with the inability to do the things that once were easy. I pray for encouragement for the never-ending cycle of treatment, sickness, and fatigue. I ask for provision for those who can't stretch the money to cover everything that's needed. I pray for the mother who wants only to live to see her children grow to an age of independence. I ask for mercy for the pain and relief from the nausea. I pray for the father, who would do anything to take the sickness on himself. Be with those who still haven't caught their breath from the gut-punching news. Give protection for the sacrificial mother who chooses her baby's life over treating her own infirmity. I pray that the darkness of nighttime will bring rest and not fear. I ask for the gift of a really good day when spirits are running especially low. I beg that you take away the waves of anxiety that wax and wane. I pray for inexplicable peace during the long waits for test results. I ask for comfort for the husbands, the wives, the parents, the children, the friends who are going to bed, tonight, with grief wetting their pillows. I pray that families will adjust to their new normal, whatever it may be. Please let your presence be felt when the news of recurrence is given. Give rest to the parents who haven't slept. Strength for the husband who is trying to hold it all together. A sense of security for the children who don't understand. Comfort the wife who cries in the shower where only you can see. Give endurance for the patients whose days revolve around appointments, scans, and bloodwork and just long for their old lives back.

I confess that it's a word that ranks high on our fear list, God. We believe in you and have faith in your power, but our human frailty trembles at the possibility of the nasty word being used alongside our names or the name of someone we love. I've been there before with family members.
I've seen it too many times with friends and acquaintances. The research, the breakthroughs, the new treatments, the good reports, and, sometimes, I confess, even the prayers. I can become cynical as far as it's all concerned. Forgive me when I doubt your goodness. I know I've allowed the heartbreaking earthly defeats to drown out the victories of your countless miracles. Open my eyes to those and never let me forget to thank you.

I know that we will never understand certain things from where we stand down here in this fallen world. I know that the mountaintops and delights of this life are the only measurements our mortal minds have to appraise the joy and glory of our coming heavenly home. It's like trying to measure the depths of the ocean or the span of the sky with a child's ruler. We can't begin to grasp its greatness, so we hold onto our lives and our people with a ferocious grip. This is all we know and it's pretty amazing most of the time. But, there are days when we don't see how all the pieces fit. We don't always understand how any good can come from all the bad. Sometimes, what's happening right in front of us blocks our view of what's eternal and what is to come. We can't see things as you do. Remind us we're not operating with all the information you have. "Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." 1 Corinthians 13:12

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there by mourning, nor crying, nor PAIN anymore, for the former things have passed away."
Revelation 21:4  

God, I am guilty of living in the moment and believing this life is a permanent setup. I get busy with my pressing concerns and lists and live in an illusion that I have a stockpile of days stored up someplace. I end up wasting an embarrassing amount of the gift of time that's dispensed from your hand. As I've gotten older, though, I'm realizing that your word really is true. "You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:14  Please, give me a sense of urgency to live and love intentionally. To live for YOUR glory and fulfill YOUR purpose for me. Help me to be bold in sharing love and your offer of salvation. "For God so loved the world, that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

"Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Romans 10:13

Lord, in our human capacity, we're struggling to process all the devastation of cancer. Every one of us knows someone. Every one of us has lost someone. Every one of us is praying for someone. Every one of us is hurting for someone who's lost someone. Someone who has cancer. Please, cover all of our someones with your mercy. Wrap them in a blanket of your peace. Protect them with your mighty power. Provide for them with your kind hand. Be present in ways that are so overwhelming and unmistakable that they know, without a doubt, they are being held in the arms of God. We know that where the waters of trouble are deep, your power and mercy run even deeper.

My favorite promise- "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior" Isaiah 43:2-3 


Joni