Thursday, March 26, 2020
Quarantine Maundering
Well, today, I thought I'd just ramble on about random things as they come in my head concerning this current quarantine situation. Quarantine is one of our new vocabulary words that we've all learned how to use in a sentence as of late. It's a word we never used much until now. When I first texted the word, a couple of weeks ago, my predictive texting had no idea what I was about to say. It guessed quaint, quarter, Quaalude, quail, quality, quarry. It never even thought of quarantine. Now, I go anywhere close to the "Q" on the keypad and it's sure I'm wanting to say "quarantine".
Little did any of us realize how important the timing of our last hair appointments would be. Sadly, I was due a cut and color when this all went down and so I can tell you it's not going to be pretty if this lasts much longer. A couple of things about my hair. First, it grows at a rate that impresses kudzu and so, like dog years, 6 weeks for your hair is like 42 weeks for mine. And it's so thick that it not only gets long, but it gets big. Factor in the already grayed roots and the progression to date can be seen below from right to left. Can you imagine the waiting list for your hair stylist when this is all over? And we're all going to look hideous while we stand by for our appointments to roll around. It will be a difficult time. I'm hoping they take the most severe cases first.
Little did any of us realize how important the timing of our last hair appointments would be. Sadly, I was due a cut and color when this all went down and so I can tell you it's not going to be pretty if this lasts much longer. A couple of things about my hair. First, it grows at a rate that impresses kudzu and so, like dog years, 6 weeks for your hair is like 42 weeks for mine. And it's so thick that it not only gets long, but it gets big. Factor in the already grayed roots and the progression to date can be seen below from right to left. Can you imagine the waiting list for your hair stylist when this is all over? And we're all going to look hideous while we stand by for our appointments to roll around. It will be a difficult time. I'm hoping they take the most severe cases first.
Carson has the same problem with his hair getting big, so he'll need to be a priority case, too.
I've noticed a shift around the house, the last couple of days. We seem to be having moments when we're a bit more testy with each other. Being shut up in here with two men, I've noticed they've started to form an alliance. They appear to be trying to shift the balance of power. There's been a lot of affirmation among the menfolk when their opinions match up and are opposite of mine. I'm keeping an eye on the situation and have recruited Ruby to help me counter for the cause of estrogen.....even if we have both been spayed. So, if testiness is occurring in your home, I just want you to know that you are not alone as this is perfectly normal. Anytime people are confined to an enclosed space with other people for an extended period, entertaining different methods of murder in one's mind is bound to occur and should not be a cause for alarm. To help the malicious thoughts pass, go outside, get some fresh air, and think of one good thing about the people with whom you're quarantined. Mine, for example, would be, "At least, Davis and Carson aren't much of a drain on the toilet paper supply." See? Now, you try.
To help work off his astronomical food bill, I got Carson out to work in the yard again yesterday. We worked some topsoil into a bed, planted new plants and added fresh mulch, which Ruby started eating like we'd just put out bridge mix and bar nuts. Like the rest of us, she's really had her ear to the ground and has been taking this quarantine thing seriously as the neighbor informed us she hasn't let herself in their house- not once this week. She's apparently keeping abreast of the current situation and is following the CDC guidelines closely.
I'm currently reading a book about the deaths of our presidents as I thought that would be some light reading for a pandemic. Let's just say we wouldn't want the doctors of the first few presidents guiding us through this health crisis....unless we thought enemas would somehow be helpful. Fun fact- the second, third, and fourth presidents to die, all died on July 4. Jefferson, Adams, and Monroe- Jefferson and Adams dying on the same day. Ten years later, the fifth president to die, Madison, was offered drugs to help him live to see July 4, but he refused them and died on June 28. Just because we're all shut up in the house, doesn't mean we can't brush up on our history and stuff.
I don't know how other parts of the country manage when supplies are low, but in Mississippi your avid hunter/fisher brother calls to offer access to his treasure chest of frozen wild game and fish. Everything from wild pig, deer, turkey, salt water fish, and I probably don't even want to know what else is in there. It would probably give me troubling flashbacks from my childhood when I never knew what kind of dead varmint with which he'd try to chase me. I told him I appreciated the offer, but we had plenty of my preferred domestic meat. If hunger were to set in though, I suppose we could trade some of Davis' garden peas and beans for brother's meat. It's always nice to know there's a country boy or two in the family when the supply chain gets a little wobbly.
I feel like I'm on a really bad survival show where I'm locked in a house with a freezer full of random meats and vegetables and a pantry of cans along with two other people and a dog. Every 3 hours, the two other people have to ask what they're having for their next meal. If you can dash out and capture a can of Lysol or a package of toilet paper for your team without human interaction of any kind, you earn bonus points, which can be traded in for takeout. You advance to the next round if you keep everyone from starving and killing each other. Somehow, I ended up with the freezer that was heavy on ground beef and a teammate who drinks a gallon of milk a day and considers a half box of cereal to be a serving. I'm about ready to tap out.
We're all healthy and well-fed and getting some much needed rest here, so we certainly can't overlook those good things. I hope you and your family are doing well, too. Be safe and stay at home as much as you can. And don't forget to find something to laugh at everyday. It soothes the mind.
We're closer to coming back together than we were yesterday!
Take care.
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