* I've been getting all these little coupons in the mail for free stuff and, like always, I go and redeem those suckers.  Bath and Body is always sending me free things, which I tuck away for stockings and happies.  And Victoria Secret sends us a coupon for a free pair of panties every week.  I'd understand it if we were big customers, but I usually only go to get their free stuff.  I'm sure when they see me come in there, they're like, "Barbara, get out the free panties.....here she comes."  I only redeem the ones for the more modest styles.....not the ones that could be confused for a slingshot and I always make it a point to mention that they're not for me so to help the girl, who's stuffing the pink tissue into my bag, combat her nausea. 

* After this week, I'd just like to say........Christmas lights are from Satan.  They are sent here to lead us into sin.  If you look carefully on the back of the box, I believe it says "Made in Hell".

*  I must have been subconsciously overwhelmed by all of the things that I had to do this week.  When I get overwhelmed, I have stressful dreams.  My stressful dreams always involve a deadline.  Friday night, I dreamed that I had several houses to go and decorate and I was thinking about how I should be back home by 4:00 that afternoon.  That's when the phone rang and I was reminded that my house was on the Christmas tour of homes that night starting at 6:00.  I'd forgotten.  While I drove to work, I tried to figure out how I would get my house ready in just two hours......seeing as how I'd left the kitchen dirty, furniture dusty, floors sticky, beds unmade, pilgrims and pumpkins out, and no Christmas tree or any sort of Christmas decorations, for that matter. (The dream was a frightening blending of real life and dream life.)  I've never been so happy to wake up as I was Saturday morning.......realizing that no one had forked out any money to come anywhere near my house that night.    

* Did you see where there was a blackout in Detroit a few days ago?  It was during the day, so it could've been worse.......except for the hundreds of people who were stuck in elevators all day.  Ok......just so you know and won't be caught off guard....if I'm ever trapped in an elevator....for seven hours......in the dark......without circulating, cold air.......when they finally get to me.....I will be with Jesus.  I also started thinking about whether I'd want to be trapped alone or with strangers.  I'd definitely want more than one stranger with me.........you know......witnesses. 

* Friday night, we got a phone call from Blair at college saying that her car had quit in the middle of a busy street.  She was blocking traffic right in front of Chick-fil-a and everyone knows it's dangerous to get between people and Chick-fil-a.  It was towed and now we wait for the mechanic's report tomorrow.  Saturday, Davis ran over some foreign object that slashed one of his tires.  Tonight, the washing machine refused to agitate.  In the last 48 hours, we've found ourselves in the market for a new car, tires, and a washing machine.  Oh, and did I mention.......it's Christmas?

*  Last night, Carson came down with a mild stomach bug.  Having a family member with a stomach virus really does something to your head.  My stomach's been "hurting" all day.  I feel like Fred Sanford......."oh, here it comes.....this is it......it's the big one".        

*  Tomorrow and Tuesday have been set aside to 1)  Go back to sleep after Carson leaves for school.  2)  Finish addressing our Christmas cards  3)  Pick out a tree/Get it in the stand/Light it/Decorate it.  4)  Decorate the outside of our house to dispel any rumors that we are unbelieving pagans.  5)  Decorate the rest of the house and fill the emptiness left by the pilgrims.  5)  Finish wrapping gifts and making bows for all of them. 6)  Get my hair cut.  7)  Go to the grocery store and expand our options beyond a can of evaporated milk, a box of saltines, and a brown banana. 

Well, I won't prolong your misery any longer.

Hope y'all have a good Monday!