Well, I took a couple of days off for fall break.  Not that I actually get a fall break but Carson got a fall break and I guess I thought I needed one, too.  I had a few projects around the house that I'd been wanting to get done and I stayed home and did just that.  The main one was giving Davis' home office a facelift.  He's decided he is going to retire from his job of 33 years at the end of the year and take another full-time job that will have him working from home.  I'm happy to report that the makeover is complete.....fresh paint and all.

I think the project wasn't just about checking something off of my list but it was also helping me work off some nervous political energy.  Don't worry.....this post isn't about any particular candidate.  I wouldn't dare go there.  I don't know anyone who's ever won friends that way.  But, let's be honest- I don't care who you're voting for, no one can feel good about the state of our political system or election process. 

I've been walking around with a tight feeling in my shoulders, my teeth kind of clinched......and finding myself taking a lot of deep breaths.  I've described it to friends as feeling like I'm buckled into the backseat of a speeding car that's being driven erratically by crazy people and they're taking me to places where I don't want to go.  I can't get out.  I can't stop the car or slow it down.  I can't reach the steering wheel.  I can just see that we're on a dangerous road and, there, I sit.  Strapped in.  Unable to do one thing about where we're going or how fast we're traveling or if we're following any of the laws.  It's most unsettling when we feel helpless.....for some of us more than others.  When things seems to be out of our control, well, that's not one of our favorite feelings. 

I don't know.  Maybe it's always been this low and dirty and the only difference is this age of social media and non-stop news is feeding us this constant flow of disturbing information.  We know about every deception, every smear, every scandal, every infidelity, every bit of fraud and betrayal and malice and injustice.  Day after day after day.  Story after story after story.  Spin after spin after spin. After a while, it starts to wear on a person, you know?  Maybe because I feel so small in the face of it.  Maybe because my one vote seems too insignificant to fight it.  Maybe because I'm afraid of all the darkness that surrounds it. 

I guess my anxiety isn't as much for myself as it is for my children and nieces and nephews.  Motherhood or "aunthood" or "grandmotherhood" or basically any kind of "hood" that causes us to dearly love someone who's traveling along behind us in this life......well, those various "hoods" kind of amplify our fear and apprehension of this questionable path we're currently traveling.  No one wants to feel uneasy about their kids' futures, their dreams, their security.  No one wants to anticipate that their kids will have a more arduous course to run or a steeper hill to climb.  No one wants that.  That's not the way it's supposed to be.     

I guess I feel about as inconsequential as little David must have looked when he was gathering his smooth stones from the stream and stuffing them into his bag preparing to fight 9' Goliath.  Such a big giant. Such little stones. Such an overwhelming task for such limited ammunition.

Goliaths are inevitable in life, I know.  Some of them are so daunting that we can't even see the top of their heads from where we stand.  We look up and they seem to stretch all the way to the sky.  We swallow real hard and our knees start to feel weak and shaky.  I guess that's where I am right now with all of this.  Very overwhelmed.  A little anxious.  So, so, so frustrated.  Considerably ineffectual. Pretty darn angry.  

But, I'm going to gather my little stones and I'm going to continue to pray for our nation and this whole process and I'm going to vote on election day.  Because I belong to God and He is still in control.  Even though it may seem that evil and deceit and depravity are at the helm, all authority still belongs to Him.  None of the candidates will be perfect or ideal....or, needless to say, make the best Sunday School teacher......but I will look at the issues and reach in my little bag and use the stone which I've been holding.  I will make it count.  I will take ownership of it.  Because leaving my stone in my bag isn't an option.  God never wants me to run scared from the fight.  He wants me to do my part and He will take it from there.    

Please pray for the hearts of the candidates and please vote, y'all.

Have a good one!