Wednesday, May 5, 2021
Perspectives on Mother’s Day
I know I’ve been missing in action but, my word, it’s been one of those unusually busy times with some spring fever possibly mixed in there, too. It seems like I’ve had something to do every night for the last three weeks and when I did have time- well, I had the attention span of a school kid in May. Carson moved all his crapola home, this week, so I feel like I’m living in storage unit. On top of that, this hormonal brain fog. Geez- I can’t seem to string two words together anymore. If somebody knows what to do about that, I’m all ears- with not much between them but haze. 
So, it’s finally the week we celebrate motherhood. We’ve been waiting for this for 51 weeks. Whatever you do, don’t forget your mother if you still have her here with you. Mother’s Day is usually a happy time with beautiful displays of gift ideas in all the stores. It’s fresh flowers and restaurant specials and sweet cards with pink envelopes. It’s popsicle stick picture frames, breakfast in bed, blooming hanging baskets, and gift cards for mani/pedis. But, I realize Mother’s Day doesn’t mean the same thing for everybody. Sometimes, there’s a more jagged side to it, too.
Maybe it’s your first Mother’s Day without your mother and it’s a day you’ve been dreading. Maybe you never met your biological mother but you’d love to know what she was like and if you look like her. Maybe you’re still patiently waiting for your turn to be a mother after months of disappointment. Maybe the word, mother, doesn’t bring up loving images for you and you’re wondering what there is to celebrate. Maybe this will be your first Mother’s Day as a mom and you never imagined that kind of love even existed. Maybe the kids who call you mother weren’t born from your body, but you couldn’t love them any more if they were. Maybe the window has closed on your chance to ever be a mother and this day tends to be a reminder of that. Maybe you made a decision in the past to end a pregnancy and Mother’s Day brings up a lot of guilt and regret. Maybe your role as a teacher, aunt, friend of the family- makes you a mother figure in young eyes. Maybe you’re the foster bridge between the past and a better future- willing to take on the eventual pain of goodbye for the good of a child. Maybe your children live far away and you’ll likely spend a lonely day waiting on a phone call. Maybe you never wanted to be a mother and directed your energy in another direction and you’re completely content with that choice. Maybe you’ll spend Mother’s Day next to a hospital bed wishing your child could be healthy like most other kids. Maybe you became a mother before you were grown yourself and you’ve reordered your plans to accommodate the unexpected. Maybe the one who called you mom is no longer here and you have lived out the nightmare of an unnatural order of death. Maybe you’re a single mom and feeling worried that you won’t be able to do it all. Maybe you’re a grandmother and thought your child raising days were over but now you find your grandchildren in your care. Maybe you did everything the right way, but another Mother’s Day will pass with no idea where addiction has taken the child you love. Maybe your belly is swollen with an anticipated arrival and you’re wondering what motherhood will be like and if you’ll be any good at it.
Motherhood has so many stories. So many wonderful possibilities and so many heartbreaking ones, too. It is the greatest gift and the hardest task ever given to a woman. That’s why Elizabeth Stone said, “Motherhood is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” It’s like issuing another set of keys to the very deepest part of your heart.
I’m not sure what the holiday will be like for you, this year. I know women who fit into every one of those categories. I’ve been in the presence of some of them recently and it’s made me more mindful of what their perspective might be, this week. If your Mother’s Day is spent missing someone you loved, may God pull you close to Him in your grief. If the day brings up regret and second guesses, may you feel God’s warm grace covering you. If the day is clouded with worry and uncertainty, may God settle your mind with His peace. If the day is a reminder of your disappointment, may God give you the gift of contentment. If the day stirs up memories of pain and hurt, may God give you the ability to forgive and move forward. If the day is greeted with physical exhaustion, may God grant you renewed strength and focus. If the day is filled with love, may God receive your gratitude all day long. If the day is riddled with questions, may God satisfy your mind with His answers. If the day brings out your loneliness, may God sit near the empty part of your heart and keep you company. If the day is brimming with admiration and appreciation, may God help you express it. If the day presents the opportunity to help another woman get through her version of the day, may God help you seize it.
The men in my life have been asking about gift suggestions, color preferences, and such for a couple of weeks now. That’s how I know the time is drawing near- my birthday is always the same week as Mother’s Day. This year, it’s the day after. With Blair (thankfully) at the helm, they’ll make my weekend especially nice and get all of my rapid-fire special days commemorated, so they can check me off their list for another year. We’ve been invited to Blair and John Samuel’s house for the weekend to celebrate. They’ve planned a shrimp boil, a day at the beach, and a night at a hot air balloon festival, so it will be a good time with my people.
I hope the same for you. Wherever or however you spend your version of the weekend, may God be near- in the joy and the tears.
JONI
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