In December, I shared the story of a miracle God gave our family for Christmas. The one embryo belonging to Blair and John Samuel that sprang to life a day after the news was given that there were no living embryos left and adoption was the next option they should explore. I’ll start out today with a word from them. 

4 years- 4 years of countless shots, doctors’ visits, surgeries, a second job, a loss, failure, tears, loneliness, and grief- this is what comes with an infertility journey. Through all the hardships, God has been good and held us, even when we couldn’t hold up ourselves. 

Most of you know the story about how we got one single miracle embryo, during our second round of IVF. There was no other explanation, other than God. I am happy to report an important update to that story. God saw this wonderful miracle to the end. We are expecting a precious baby this December! We are still in awe and will forever be thanking Him! 

For those of you battling infertility, we are so sorry. Please know that you are not alone. This is a devastating journey, in every way. You have done nothing to deserve this, and you are still worthy- despite not being able to have children, right now. We don’t know how the journey will end for you, but God will see you through. He is always faithful to never leave his children. Please reach out to us if you want to talk about anything infertility. Unfortunately, we are pros! 

“You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; you have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, to the end that my tongue and my heart and everything glorious within me may sing praise to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.” Psalm 31:11-12

We wanted to be sure to thank each and every one of you who have prayed so faithfully for John Samuel and me throughout this difficult journey. We are so blessed to have had such a large community of people go to God on our behalf. Please continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy and for a healthy baby to join us in December.  -Blair and John Samuel 

Their embryo transfer was on April 2 and they were set to find out if it was successful on April 12. Blair had no idea what time they would call with the results, so Davis and I went on with our day but with a square knot and a couple of slip knots in our stomachs. We were having family over in a couple of days, so I was in a garden center looking for blooming plants to fill a basket for the table. Right there in the middle of the petunias, geraniums, and marigolds, I got the word from Blair that she was “very pregnant” - borrowing the words of the nurse. With strangers all around me, the tears just welled up in my eyes and rolled down my face. The words we’d waited so long to hear finally came. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jesus! Those were the only words that would come to my mind and the only ones that were needed. 

Everything is perfect according to her tests and her doctors. The baby’s growth, her hormones, the development. The once lifeless embryo is now a thriving baby with a strong heartbeat. It has little arms and little legs and is moving all around. There is no doubt that God breathed life where there was none. Life has a way of lulling us into a sleepy place where we’re less attentive to the works of God. He gave this gift to our family in a way that has reawakened our awe and wonder at His power and goodness. 

When something isn’t right with one of my children, something isn’t right with me. They’re an extension of me, so what pulls on them, pulls on me. I’ve felt like there have been days I haven’t been myself. My mind has been in another place. Through these years, there have been times when Blair felt like everything was going wrong all at once and I’d be on the other end of the phone having used all of my limited words and wisdom with nothing left to offer her. I have to confess times of questioning. Like we all do when we don’t understand, we asked why. This fallen world has a way of filling our minds with questions we want to ask God. In recent years for me it’s been -why do some loving couples struggle with infertility while others, who don’t even care for their children, have no issues at all? I don’t think God minds questions, but we can’t get so far into the weeds of the whys that we become blind to His goodness and sovereignty and the hope He offers. No matter how far we have to travel out of the briars and the brush, we have to find our way back to the place where hope and trust are. 

With the miraculous way the embryo got its start, I’ve felt an overwhelming calm and peace about this since they shared the news. When God is so obviously in something, you have the freedom to sit back and rest in His power. If you have prayed for them, I could never begin to thank you enough. Overwhelmed doesn’t begin to touch it. Innumerable times, I’ve been told they were the subject of your prayers. Countless times, I’ve been asked about them and their updates. In a world that seems to be mostly turned inward to self, you have been the very opposite of that. To have so many offer their time before God to plead for our children, well- you just have no idea what that means to us. If you’ll continue to do us that honor for a healthy pregnancy, we’d be so grateful. I also have to note that some of the loudest cheerleaders have been women who were never able to have children. The tears in their eyes when they spoke to me came from a place that recognized and appreciated the deep longing of that journey. May God bless them, every one. May God bless you all for your kindness to our family. 

I don’t have room to write all the miraculous ways God has shown His hand in this, but I’ll leave you with one beautiful example. My sweet mama was here with us on Mother’s Day and she shared this story. I recorded it and wouldn’t trade it for anything. She said on December 14, after I’d just told her, the day before, that there was no embryo left, I called her back to share the glorious news- there was one healthy embryo that came to life in a miraculous and inexplicable way which had baffled the medical staff. Joyful, thankful, and not knowing what else to do, my mother said she went to her Bible and opened it and found this verse jumping off the page. She had it printed and framed and gave it to Blair for her first Mother’s Day. 

A story only God could write. Footnotes only He could insert. Winks only He could give. A miracle that came to life at Christmas, was implanted the week of Easter, and is due to be born the week of Christmas. Thanks be to God. 

For the last several weeks, I’ve answered vaguely, beat around the bush, sent cryptic messages, changed the subject, avoided conversations, darted behind store displays, refused to make eye contact, and basically acted like a weirdo. Their sharing the news couldn’t have come a moment too soon for my cranial pressure and, perhaps, most of all, my social life.

Y’all have a great week! 

PUNKIN  -My soon-to-be favorite title