When this pandemic first started, I didn't consider the quarantine/relaxed schedule part of it to be an unwelcomed thing. At first, at least. We were living at a fast pace then and so to be told, suddenly, to go home and stay there as much as possible with your family, well, it was kind of a cozy feeling. We bought up a lot of food, cooked and baked, played games, enjoyed the outdoors, and busied ourselves with projects and hobbies. Things we don't normally have a lot of time to do. Like I said, it wasn't all that bad starting out.

In ever-slow stages, life has come back from that- well, up to a certain point. Most of us are getting out, but nothing like usual. We're going to church, work, school, and meetings, but we're spaced apart and we give everyone plenty of room. We pass people we think we know, but it’s hard to tell with our faces mostly covered. We see people we want to hug so badly, but we know we shouldn’t out of courtesy. It’s hard to have conversations with our muffled voices so, sometimes, it’s easier to just avoid them altogether. In the South, we smile at each other when we pass on the street, but that’s off the table with our mouths covered. We meet friends for lunches- the ones who feel comfortable with it- but we don’t get too close. Everywhere we go, we’re behind a mask and a plastic barrier of some sort and it can feel like we’re all in our own little hole. So, yeah, we’re not in isolation anymore and we are seeing each other, but nothing is normal. This is not normal. 

I confess that I’ve been feeling blah for the last month or so. Not depressed, anxious, sad, or hopeless- no need to worry about me. I just feel blah. That’s the only word I know to call it. I sit to write and my mind feels like a dust bowl. So dry and empty of ideas. I’m reading my Bible and praying and all those things we do to stay close to God and I’m quite optimistic for the future and very hopeful in Him, so there’s no problem there. So, I have to conclude that the thing that’s making me feel blah and uninspired is the absence of my normal interaction with people. It’s catching up with me. There are people I can’t see because of age or health situations. There are activities that have been cancelled until further notice that have cut me off from groups of people I enjoy. There are places and interests I can’t enjoy with people I love. There are traditional gatherings that won’t be happening this year and hurting people I can’t help very much. It’s kind of a lonely time. 

Don’t worry. I’m not going negative on you. That’s not my style, you know. I just kept having a gnawing feeling today that someone might need to hear that it’s not abnormal to feel out of sorts right now. Bottom line is that we need each other more than we realize. Some more than others, of course. I have friends who could live like this for the rest of their days and be perfectly content, but I am here to tell you that I am not one of those people. God wired us all differently. 

So, if you’re feeling a little blah, I’d say you’re probably a people person like me and, well, we’re not getting our recommended daily allowance of people right now. Or maybe you’re more of a people person than you ever realized. Facebook and FaceTime don’t cut it for everybody. But, this is NOT forever. This, too, shall pass. We’ll hug and kiss cheeks again and wear lipstick that people will actually see. We’ll tailgate and sit in crowded bleachers and high-five. There will be family reunions, bridal showers, and buffet-style dinner parties again. We’ll sing hymns in church and hug the grieving and cry on each other’s shoulder. We’ll visit friends in the hospital, go on vacations, stand in packed elevators, and actually blow out the candles on our birthday cakes. Yes, we will. We miss those things, right now, and that’s ok. Those parts of life are beautiful and lovely and it’s all right to grieve for them. Sometimes, just knowing you’re not the only one makes it better.