Thursday, January 8, 2015
Every Day Can't Be Like Christmas
10:53 PM
As I do almost every day, I got on the scale this morning. I went through the motions of tapping it with my foot.....waiting for the zero to appear and then stepping on. It goes through this whole blinking thing that it does.....I suppose a stall tactic it uses while it calculates........and then, finally that big moment came and it says....."LO". It had never said that before. At first, I thought, "Well, how sweet"! I guessed maybe it was trying to say, "Girl, your weight is LO!....Look at you!!".......you know......in scale talk. So, I stood there a second and waited to see if more compliments would appear on the digital screen......like maybe a "WOW" or a "HOT", but soon realized it was referring only to its waning button cell battery. You know that awkward moment when you thought your bathroom scale was flirting with you when, in reality,.....it wasn't at all.
Later, I ran to the grocery store and made the horrible mistake of not getting a shopping cart. You've all been there. You're just going in for three things and a cart would be sooooo unnecessary but, by the time you make it to the register to check out, you're holding 3 cans of diced tomatoes between your knees, a 2 liter Sprite under one arm, 10 lbs. of red potatoes under the other, a tub of butter clinched with your chin, two handfuls of family size cereal boxes, a frozen turkey breast dangling from the crook of your arm by its plastic netting, a bag of Party Size Ruffles in between your teeth, a gallon of 2% milk suspended from your left pinky, and your right index finger hooked through the plastic of a 72 double roll pack of Quilted Northern.....all while rolling a watermelon with your foot. You finally find a checkout lane with no wait and you collapse onto the conveyor belt in exhaustion, flinging your items wherever they might fall. One day, you'll learn you should never bypass the shopping carts. Ever.
If the imaginary advances of my bathroom scale and shopping cart remorse were the two most noteworthy parts of my day then I should just let you go and not hold you here any longer. I won't get into telling you about my much needed haircut, the laundry marathon I ran, or how long the 9x13 Pyrex dish had to soak in the dishwater after supper tonight. We'll save that for another day. Let's not have all our fun at once.
Looking forward to the weekend. Maybe something exciting will happen!
Hope you have a good one, too!
Later, I ran to the grocery store and made the horrible mistake of not getting a shopping cart. You've all been there. You're just going in for three things and a cart would be sooooo unnecessary but, by the time you make it to the register to check out, you're holding 3 cans of diced tomatoes between your knees, a 2 liter Sprite under one arm, 10 lbs. of red potatoes under the other, a tub of butter clinched with your chin, two handfuls of family size cereal boxes, a frozen turkey breast dangling from the crook of your arm by its plastic netting, a bag of Party Size Ruffles in between your teeth, a gallon of 2% milk suspended from your left pinky, and your right index finger hooked through the plastic of a 72 double roll pack of Quilted Northern.....all while rolling a watermelon with your foot. You finally find a checkout lane with no wait and you collapse onto the conveyor belt in exhaustion, flinging your items wherever they might fall. One day, you'll learn you should never bypass the shopping carts. Ever.
If the imaginary advances of my bathroom scale and shopping cart remorse were the two most noteworthy parts of my day then I should just let you go and not hold you here any longer. I won't get into telling you about my much needed haircut, the laundry marathon I ran, or how long the 9x13 Pyrex dish had to soak in the dishwater after supper tonight. We'll save that for another day. Let's not have all our fun at once.
Looking forward to the weekend. Maybe something exciting will happen!
Hope you have a good one, too!
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Loved this...thank you for the good chuckle! I so relate. Have you tried the dryer sheet in the soaking pan? Sounds crazy but it really helps!
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of that, Joni! I will be trying it out though! Thanks for the tip. (Love that we spell our name the same way.......don't see that spelling much.)
DeleteBeen there about the grocery cart. Your posts about everyday life makes me smile and really spot on. I'll have to try the dyer sheet when soaking a crusty baking dish. I soak mine over night with lots of Dawn and a good scrub the next day. Hope your weekend is full of blessed daily life! Kathleen in Az
ReplyDeleteAwww....thank you, Kathleen! You always brighten my day :)
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