Well, today, has been a horrible day. Nothing horrendous happened or anything like that, but my stinky attitude ruined a perfectly good crisp fall day. My very favorite kind of day, at that. Davis and I have had an ongoing grievance with a national company that we've done business with for years and, this weekend, it reached a crescendo. I'm not going to mention names or even what kind of company it is, because that's not my preferred approach. But, after Davis and I talked about the situation at length, last night, I'd planned to give one final attempt, as he'd already done, to express how I felt we'd been wrongfully treated as customers.

Now, I'm a pretty laid back kind of gal. I don't get upset easily. You have to work pretty hard to get me stirred up about something, but these people had managed to do just that. I told Davis I couldn't remember the last time I was this upset and angry. Davis has always been longsuffering- more of a "just let it go"/"there's nothing we can do about it" kind of person, which is fine in most matters, but business matters, where money is being spent, are a little more tricky. Somewhere between him and me would likely fall the most healthy approach. Surely, there exists a more reasonable ground between "go ahead and take advantage of me" and "someone must die" and that should probably be the target for which we should aim in the future.

Anyway, I got up, this morning, with my phone number to the very important person in charge along with our reference number and I was ready. I'd jotted down all the important facts, because I'm not one to think very well on my feet. As a matter of fact, my brain cells all seem to drain down to my feet during any sort of confrontation. I get so emotional and worked up that I just lose my train of thought. Yes, I'm the one who beats herself wildly on the forehead after she hangs up and realizes she forgot to say this or wishes she'd said that. I'm far better at expressing my thoughts through writing than through oration. Moses and I have that much in common.

So, armed with my cheat notes to compensate for my verbal deficit, I dialed the number. My heart was pounding with anger. My jaw was clenched. I was seething. I couldn't wait to talk to one of the persons responsible for my loss of trust in the company. I spoke to someone who was, obviously, oblivious to the matter. I decided she certainly didn't deserve to receive the blow of my simmering grudge, so I asked to speak to someone, who was closely involved in the situation. She put me on hold and my head throbbed as I listened to the lovely instrumental music that was intended to be calming to the customers during their extended wait times. It wasn't working. A boat load of violins and oboes couldn't soothe the swirl of my indignation. My tense neck started to hurt as my headache crept down my upper spine. I could feel my pulse in my head. I hoped I wouldn't have a stroke before he picked up the phone and I could give my speech. But, he didn't pick up the phone. No, the young lady came back saying he'd sent word that the matter was closed. They couldn't even offer an email address or any other way for me to send my opinions. No compensation or recourse or apology of any kind.

I hung up the phone furious. My heart was beating hard and fast. I was beside myself. All that anger that had built up had nowhere to go. You can blow a gasket that way, you know. I finally just got in the shower and tried  to relax myself and reminded God, while I was in there, that I was needing help with this, because I am a prideful and stubborn woman and, at no point, did He stop me to disagree. I got out and put on some soothing music to try to lower my blood pressure from its likely high and lofty place. The situation wasn't fair. Nothing about it was fair and I was obsessed with the unfairness.

I had lunch with a friend, not long after my phone call, and my mind slowly drifted to other things. The unfair thing was still present up there, but it was in a back room somewhere being kept quiet. From lunch, I went to pick up an order that wasn't right and I quietly got upset again. And then again when someone pulled out in front of me going 20 mph. And again when I went into the post office and remembered it was closed for the holiday. I didn't throw fits or act ugly out loud, but I mumbled things under my breath and the pounding started up again. I even laid on my horn, a couple of times, as I drove home- just for good measure. I was beginning to wonder if I was experiencing some sort of hormonal crisis. Whatever it was, I was breaking commandments right and left.

I was sitting at a red light on my way home from my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day when I saw a friend pull up behind me. I immediately called her to ask how she was. She answered cheerfully. She's been facing an enormous mountain for a while now. Her situation is unfair and costly and has affected every single aspect of her life and it doesn't seem to be changing any time soon. I'd been meaning to check on her all weekend, but never got around to it. She gave me an update on her ongoing situation in a much brighter tone of voice than I'd used all day and it made my dilemma seem so small and me seem even smaller. I'd allowed this matter of principle and pride to ruin my whole day, while there was someone sitting at the light with me dealing with much bigger things. And doing it considerably better, I might add.

Sometimes, God knows just who to put in our rearview mirror to bring things into focus for us. His truths can be closer than they appear.

Tomorrow is a fresh start. A new day to do better.

Goodnight, all.