My Blair is very health conscious. I don't know anyone who is more committed to being healthy than she is. She's always been interested in exercise, eating right, and doing what she can to stay fit and well and she sends Davis and me information on how we can do the same. Like a lot of her generation, she reads a good bit about food, cosmetics, and hygiene/cleaning products and which ones are deemed healthy and which are considered harmful. And I'm certainly not criticizing, but these younger people are really into the clean, organic, all-natural products. I'm not even really sure what all of it means. They want cage-free, dye-free, antibiotic-free, chemical-free, hormone-free, GMO-free. That's not a bad thing. There's just so much that we, their parents, never gave much thought to like phosphates, aluminum, sulfates, nitrates, BPA, parabens, triclosan, and other things that I can't pronounce or spell. Blair's gifted me with all-natural cleaners, hand sanitizers, lotions, and soaps in an effort to get us in the habit of using less chemicals around this lethal place and I've really liked them all. She also directed me to get the Think Dirty app to check the safety ratings on all the products I use regularly. She's also the one appointed to explain the salacious sounding app to anyone who questions it in the event of my untimely demise.

I don't think my generation is really to blame for the blind eye we've turned to such things. I mean we were raised by people, who smoked with the car windows up, while the kids suffocated in the back seat with their own candy cigarettes in hand. If we walked in the house and the noxious combination of Pine-Sol, Clorox, and Comet caused immediate respiratory distress, well, we knew it was cleaning day and we needed to just turn around and go back outside. These are the parents who let us wander around inside the car as it barreled down the interstate with only an extended arm between us and the windshield. They put us in carcinogen-laced flame retardant pajamas and sent us off to bed. We rode down big hills balancing on our brother's handlebars with nothing on our heads but twin bead ponytail holders. These people stuck bars of soap in our mouths when we said ugly words. They watched us run behind the mosquito truck and did nothing but wave. No, health conscious isn't what I'd call our parents, who were the first to feed their kids mac and cheese and orange juice - both in powder form. So, it's not really our fault that we're not as alarmed about health risks as those who've come after us. Our entire childhood was one big health risk and we're the proud survivors.

Well, one trip home, Blair told me about the potentially harmful ingredients in deodorant. I'd seen all of those more natural deodorant alternatives in the stores, but she and some friends had tried several and she'd found one that was working for her. I decided I'd give it a whirl. I mean, I've used deodorant for quite a few years now, but I guess it's never too late to make a change in the interest of longevity and becoming a drain on the kids' inheritance.

Well, I tried one and, at the end of the day, I wasn't quite sure it was up to the task. I used another brand and noticed that, after I exercised, there were smells similar to what you'd expect to come wafting from the Cowboys' locker room after a long day of summer camp. I thought, "Ok,  I'm apparently just a sweatier person than Blair. A more beastly woman. Less estrogen-ous and more menopausal-ous." Yeah, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that I'm not near as delicate and prissy as her, so I just needed to find another brand that was suited for a sturdier, more hardy woman like myself. I tried another chemical-free brand and another and, both times, I reminded myself of a large man, who'd been working out in the field all day. There are some products from which I can accept a little less in the interest of good health, but deodorant is not one of them. I did finally find a $24 mail-order deodorant that works better than any I'd ever used, toxic or non-toxic, if you don't mind the feeling of pine tar under your arms and itching so bad that you scratch your armpits all day like an ape. I finally realized that for this menopausal season, at least, the more natural deodorants didn't contain the ingredient that makes deodorant actually work for me. Whatever that ingredient is. Taking it out produced results that were less than ideal.

I couldn't help but think that's what we've done with God in our society. He's been labeled as harmful and detrimental and there are constant efforts to remove any trace of the offending "toxin". Even with all the attempts to convince us that He's causing problems, actually, the further we push away from Him, the more dire our situation becomes. We've been conditioned to be politically correct in our speech and carefully craft our words to avoid exposing anyone to the offensive element as sensitivity levels are out the roof. We've made our best efforts to do school, discipline, parenting, law, family, business- all without God. What we're seeing is that He was actually the ingredient that made it all work like it's supposed to and taking Him out of the mix has left us with a mess. You might even say a big, smelly one.

But, because it's never my intention to leave us feeling depressed, I want us to challenge ourselves to make bold efforts to put God back into our piece of the world. Refuse to sit quietly and fear repercussions. Reverse the brainwashing that God's word is something we should whisper. Don't allow Him to be taken off of every public corner in our society. Don't stand by and watch His name being treated like a toxicant. We can turn this thing around if we put Him back into the formula. We know that only God can take things that are broken and make them whole again. He can light up the places that were overwhelmed with darkness. He can bring hope where despair had made its home. He can write new beginnings where there seemed to be nothing left but an end. He always has been and always will be the active ingredient.

"There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death." Proverbs 14:12

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

"I am the Light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life." John 8:12



Y'all have a lovely weekend!   

        

You know it's been a heartbreaking week for people in our community. I pray for everyone, everywhere, who's suffering at the cruel hands of cancer. Tonight, there are anxious minds, financial worries, pain and weakness, devastated hearts, and pronounced absences brought on by that terrible word.

I ask that you'd quiet the mind that is filled with ominous and racing thoughts. Give strength for the family member who sits in a hospital room, day after day. Give comfort to the parent faced with an unnatural order of death. I pray for the bodies that are weak and the frustration that comes with the inability to do the things that once were easy. I pray for encouragement for the never-ending cycle of treatment, sickness, and fatigue. I ask for provision for those who can't stretch the money to cover everything that's needed. I pray for the mother who wants only to live to see her children grow to an age of independence. I ask for mercy for the pain and relief from the nausea. I pray for the father, who would do anything to take the sickness on himself. Be with those who still haven't caught their breath from the gut-punching news. Give protection for the sacrificial mother who chooses her baby's life over treating her own infirmity. I pray that the darkness of nighttime will bring rest and not fear. I ask for the gift of a really good day when spirits are running especially low. I beg that you take away the waves of anxiety that wax and wane. I pray for inexplicable peace during the long waits for test results. I ask for comfort for the husbands, the wives, the parents, the children, the friends who are going to bed, tonight, with grief wetting their pillows. I pray that families will adjust to their new normal, whatever it may be. Please let your presence be felt when the news of recurrence is given. Give rest to the parents who haven't slept. Strength for the husband who is trying to hold it all together. A sense of security for the children who don't understand. Comfort the wife who cries in the shower where only you can see. Give endurance for the patients whose days revolve around appointments, scans, and bloodwork and just long for their old lives back.

I confess that it's a word that ranks high on our fear list, God. We believe in you and have faith in your power, but our human frailty trembles at the possibility of the nasty word being used alongside our names or the name of someone we love. I've been there before with family members.
I've seen it too many times with friends and acquaintances. The research, the breakthroughs, the new treatments, the good reports, and, sometimes, I confess, even the prayers. I can become cynical as far as it's all concerned. Forgive me when I doubt your goodness. I know I've allowed the heartbreaking earthly defeats to drown out the victories of your countless miracles. Open my eyes to those and never let me forget to thank you.

I know that we will never understand certain things from where we stand down here in this fallen world. I know that the mountaintops and delights of this life are the only measurements our mortal minds have to appraise the joy and glory of our coming heavenly home. It's like trying to measure the depths of the ocean or the span of the sky with a child's ruler. We can't begin to grasp its greatness, so we hold onto our lives and our people with a ferocious grip. This is all we know and it's pretty amazing most of the time. But, there are days when we don't see how all the pieces fit. We don't always understand how any good can come from all the bad. Sometimes, what's happening right in front of us blocks our view of what's eternal and what is to come. We can't see things as you do. Remind us we're not operating with all the information you have. "Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." 1 Corinthians 13:12

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there by mourning, nor crying, nor PAIN anymore, for the former things have passed away."
Revelation 21:4  

God, I am guilty of living in the moment and believing this life is a permanent setup. I get busy with my pressing concerns and lists and live in an illusion that I have a stockpile of days stored up someplace. I end up wasting an embarrassing amount of the gift of time that's dispensed from your hand. As I've gotten older, though, I'm realizing that your word really is true. "You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:14  Please, give me a sense of urgency to live and love intentionally. To live for YOUR glory and fulfill YOUR purpose for me. Help me to be bold in sharing love and your offer of salvation. "For God so loved the world, that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

"Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Romans 10:13

Lord, in our human capacity, we're struggling to process all the devastation of cancer. Every one of us knows someone. Every one of us has lost someone. Every one of us is praying for someone. Every one of us is hurting for someone who's lost someone. Someone who has cancer. Please, cover all of our someones with your mercy. Wrap them in a blanket of your peace. Protect them with your mighty power. Provide for them with your kind hand. Be present in ways that are so overwhelming and unmistakable that they know, without a doubt, they are being held in the arms of God. We know that where the waters of trouble are deep, your power and mercy run even deeper.

My favorite promise- "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior" Isaiah 43:2-3 


Joni

Last week, I worked on getting all of Blair's remaining belongings packed up in her bedroom. After all, she has been gone from here for 2 1/2 years. Mamas don't ever make their children take all of their belongings at once. No, moving out of her house is always done in steps. That way, she can have time to process the separation, while you're working your way up to a place big enough to hold all of these worldly possessions which are taking up space in her house. It works out pretty good for everybody for a while.

When a kid first moves out, it's usually to go to college or some type of career preparation. There could be a good bit of moving in and out during this period and so a mother's clearing out options are really limited at this point. There could be some paring down, but she is really unable to make too many changes at this time due to the fact that you're still a dependent and, well, your parents' house is your home base. She wouldn't have it any other way. She wants your room to still feel familiar when you come visit for the summer or the weekend, so she will be content to look at your tacky poster collection, while you're off being educated- knowing that she may be living with you, some day, and it is in her best interest that you do well.

After graduation, when your situation becomes less fluid, she'll expect more of your things to go home with you to your new place. At first, she starts to reclaim some of your old closet space. Each time you visit, she leaves another box by the door to be sure it gets in the car to go home with you. She may still be housing some of your wedding gifts, your weight set, your golf clubs, or maybe your off season clothes as she is a reasonably reasonable person and realizes you might not have a lot of extra space during this starting out period. Beware, however, as her patience won't hold out indefinitely.  

After some time has passed, she starts having a new and glorious vision for your room and your spelling bee trophies, tennis rackets, and dried up prom corsages aren't in it. She'll need space for a new treadmill in her beautiful home gym. Or a newly appointed craft area for her new Cricut or embroidery machine. Maybe she's looking at guest room furniture and starts spackling all of your poster holes. Or she starts envisioning your room as her home office with all of its natural light. Whatever she's got in mind, one day, you're innocently scrolling through Facebook and there you see your childhood furniture posted on the local buy, sell, or trade page. The furniture that grew up with you and held so many memories- right there listed with all the weed eaters, stairmasters, and tractor implements. When money starts being exchanged for your childhood memories, this is when you know she is getting ready to activate her plan.
 
Once a legally binding document solidifies that you are no longer a resident of her household and you are not coming back, she will move forward more aggressively with her evacuation plan. Qualifying documents include, but are not limited to, a marriage license, a home mortgage, a driver's license listing an address other than hers, and/or tax documents which indicate that you are making more money than your parents are. When any of these occur, she does not plan to be your climate control storage unit for much longer. Verbal warnings become more frequent and a bit more serious in tone.You know you have entered this final phase when she demands that you take your yearbooks. The transfer of yearbook guardianship signals that you are officially moved out. This is the final step of your leaving the nest. From this point on, your mother is certain that you will find the accommodations in the new guest room quite suitable and most comfortable when you come home to visit. Also, the home gym is just down the hall in the room where you grew up and is open 24 hours a day for your fitness convenience. And if you need to make a copy or scan a document or send a fax during your stay, the home office is there to your left where your brother grew up.

Oh, it's not so bad. Your mother remembers when her mother did it to her. After years of asking nicely, there came a day when the phone rang and her mama wasn't playing around anymore. It likely went something like- "I want you to come get this stuff TODAY. I want it out of here. If you don't want it then just get rid of it, but I can't keep it here another day." And just like that, your mother had completed all the steps of moving out as she picked up her yearbooks and wedding dress in its acid-free chamber from your grandmother's house.       

If you're just starting out, remember that your mother loves you and, oh, how she misses you being her little dumpling. You are her world. Her pride and joy. Her flesh and blood. There is nothing she wouldn't do for you. She'd give her very life for yours. She has cried many, many tears, over time, as her heart has struggled to let you go...……..but she's worked through all that now and she just needs you to come get the rest of your junk. So, go help your mama out. She's about to start filling that space up with more stuff, which you'll be left to deal with after she's gone. It's the circle of life.

Have a good week, friends.