Last week, I worked on getting all of Blair's remaining belongings packed up in her bedroom. After all, she has been gone from here for 2 1/2 years. Mamas don't ever make their children take all of their belongings at once. No, moving out of her house is always done in steps. That way, she can have time to process the separation, while you're working your way up to a place big enough to hold all of these worldly possessions which are taking up space in her house. It works out pretty good for everybody for a while.

When a kid first moves out, it's usually to go to college or some type of career preparation. There could be a good bit of moving in and out during this period and so a mother's clearing out options are really limited at this point. There could be some paring down, but she is really unable to make too many changes at this time due to the fact that you're still a dependent and, well, your parents' house is your home base. She wouldn't have it any other way. She wants your room to still feel familiar when you come visit for the summer or the weekend, so she will be content to look at your tacky poster collection, while you're off being educated- knowing that she may be living with you, some day, and it is in her best interest that you do well.

After graduation, when your situation becomes less fluid, she'll expect more of your things to go home with you to your new place. At first, she starts to reclaim some of your old closet space. Each time you visit, she leaves another box by the door to be sure it gets in the car to go home with you. She may still be housing some of your wedding gifts, your weight set, your golf clubs, or maybe your off season clothes as she is a reasonably reasonable person and realizes you might not have a lot of extra space during this starting out period. Beware, however, as her patience won't hold out indefinitely.  

After some time has passed, she starts having a new and glorious vision for your room and your spelling bee trophies, tennis rackets, and dried up prom corsages aren't in it. She'll need space for a new treadmill in her beautiful home gym. Or a newly appointed craft area for her new Cricut or embroidery machine. Maybe she's looking at guest room furniture and starts spackling all of your poster holes. Or she starts envisioning your room as her home office with all of its natural light. Whatever she's got in mind, one day, you're innocently scrolling through Facebook and there you see your childhood furniture posted on the local buy, sell, or trade page. The furniture that grew up with you and held so many memories- right there listed with all the weed eaters, stairmasters, and tractor implements. When money starts being exchanged for your childhood memories, this is when you know she is getting ready to activate her plan.
 
Once a legally binding document solidifies that you are no longer a resident of her household and you are not coming back, she will move forward more aggressively with her evacuation plan. Qualifying documents include, but are not limited to, a marriage license, a home mortgage, a driver's license listing an address other than hers, and/or tax documents which indicate that you are making more money than your parents are. When any of these occur, she does not plan to be your climate control storage unit for much longer. Verbal warnings become more frequent and a bit more serious in tone.You know you have entered this final phase when she demands that you take your yearbooks. The transfer of yearbook guardianship signals that you are officially moved out. This is the final step of your leaving the nest. From this point on, your mother is certain that you will find the accommodations in the new guest room quite suitable and most comfortable when you come home to visit. Also, the home gym is just down the hall in the room where you grew up and is open 24 hours a day for your fitness convenience. And if you need to make a copy or scan a document or send a fax during your stay, the home office is there to your left where your brother grew up.

Oh, it's not so bad. Your mother remembers when her mother did it to her. After years of asking nicely, there came a day when the phone rang and her mama wasn't playing around anymore. It likely went something like- "I want you to come get this stuff TODAY. I want it out of here. If you don't want it then just get rid of it, but I can't keep it here another day." And just like that, your mother had completed all the steps of moving out as she picked up her yearbooks and wedding dress in its acid-free chamber from your grandmother's house.       

If you're just starting out, remember that your mother loves you and, oh, how she misses you being her little dumpling. You are her world. Her pride and joy. Her flesh and blood. There is nothing she wouldn't do for you. She'd give her very life for yours. She has cried many, many tears, over time, as her heart has struggled to let you go...……..but she's worked through all that now and she just needs you to come get the rest of your junk. So, go help your mama out. She's about to start filling that space up with more stuff, which you'll be left to deal with after she's gone. It's the circle of life.

Have a good week, friends.