Thursday, May 13, 2021
When the Children Grow Up, Up, and Away
I had a fabulous birthday/Mother’s Day weekend on the coast with my people. Blair and John Samuel are always such wonderful hosts. John Samuel boiled mounds of shrimp, fresh off the boat, because they know my affection runs deep for the boiled crustacean. Blair made a delicious lemon almond pie with whipped cream for my birthday dessert. That girl can cook. They planned a day at the beach, a trip to a hot air balloon fest and a visit to a really, really, really good Mexican restaurant- all things near the top of my favorites list. Before I go any further, I’m going to stop here and give you a couple of Blair’s recipes from the weekend because, as your friend, I feel like you need these in your life. They are legit.
All Mother’s Day weekend, I watched Blair being the grown up version of my little girl. So animated, nurturing, and thoughtful. I was thinking what a joy it is for a mother to see her baby grow into a beautiful, accomplished woman. I’m amazed to see her doing so many things excellently that she once play pretended as a girl. It’s fascinating to see the ways she’s like me and all the many ways she’s far exceeded me. There are many moments when I’m so impressed that I have to ask her, “Where did you learn to do that?” -knowing the answer isn’t me. I have loved seeing the bright sparks of her personality kindle a wonderful career suited just perfectly for her and also a ministry that reaches people her age. It was a lovely transition when we could leave behind the need to parent and to be parented and embrace the desire to become dear friends as fellow women. It’s a joy to watch her build her own home with her husband and establish their own friendships, priorities, traditions, and ways of doing things. Some of them are so familiar- almost like looking in a mirror- and some of them are far better than anything she’s ever been taught by me. As a woman, there’s not a much better feeling than to see small hints of myself in my grown daughter- except a much better and much braver version. She embodies so many things that I admire and respect and I’m so very proud of the woman she is. 
Feta Dip:
7oz block of feta, 3oz block of cream cheese- both at room temp. 1/4 cup of herb infused olive oil plus more for drizzling, juice of 1 lemon, 1 minced garlic clove, 1 TB of minced chives plus more for garnishing, and salt to taste. Whip the cheeses until light and fluffy, then stir in the remaining ingredients. Serve with bagel chips. Holy Moly.
Pimento and Cheese Grits
3 cups of chicken stock, 1 cup of quick-cooking grits, 12oz container of pimento and cheese (she used Palmetto), 1/4 cup milk, 2 large eggs, lightly beaten, 1/3 cup chopped cooked bacon, 1 cup shredded cheddar, green onions, and salt and pepper to taste. Preheat oven to 350. Bring chicken stock to a boil and slowly stir in grits and cook according to package directions. Add pimento cheese and butter, stir until melted. Stir in milk and slowly add eggs until blended. Season with salt and pepper and add cooked bacon. Transfer to greased baking dish and sprinkle with the cheddar. Bake uncovered for 30-35 min. Garnish with green onions and get ready to slap your mama.
You’ll thank me later- except I did come home 2 pounds heavier than when I left here.
Anyway, we arrived at their house and Blair had everything fixed so beautifully. The table was set just so with festive, bright fresh flowers. She didn’t forget any of the little details and made sure our weekend was full of things I love- from morning to night. When we came in and saw everything she’d done, I could see the weight falling off of Davis’ shoulders as he was off the hook for making this year’s dual holiday weekend memorable. Blair had taken care of everything.
I decided that the difference between sons and daughters could best be summed up in the picture below from the weekend.
Blair had her gifts in pretty bags with matching tissue and beautiful cards. Carson re-taped the Amazon box that his gift came in and wrote his sentiment across the top- “You’re welcome, girl.” Of course, it was all in his dry humor language that we all love which helps him keep things from getting too serious, you understand.
After I got my big laugh from his presentation, I couldn’t help but think what a blessing a son is- but in such different ways. It’s been a pure joy to watch my little boy grow taller than me and to see his shoulders broaden and voice deepen. As a late bloomer, it’s only been in recent years that this spurt has taken place and he’s turned into a completely different person right before my eyes. To see him get tall and strong and watch the hints of boyhood fading under the muscles and facial hair- well, there’s something quite satisfying about knowing I had a small part in the building of a man. It gives me joy to know that the way he treats me will likely be the way he’ll treat his wife, one day. She can look forward to being a blessed recipient of his tender heart and his thoughtful and giving nature. I love that under all the sweaty clothes and insatiable appetite and many other manly things to which I cannot relate, the baby boy who once thought I was the center of his world, is now independent and ready to go it alone. I’ve enjoyed seeing him build so many new friendships in college with the same wit and charm I’ve always loved about him. Unlike a daughter, there are things we’ll never have in common or completely understand about each other because I’m a woman and he’s a man- each with our own sets of inclinations, stresses and expectations. As it should be, he’s learned a lot more from his Dad than from me-all the knowledge and skills a man ought to possess, but standing back and watching him become a man has given me so much pride- a kind I didn’t really know existed until recently. He is a good, good man- like his Dad- and I couldn’t be more proud of that.
Carson met us down there because he’d been at the beach with some college friends for a few days. Even though grown and independent, you can see he clearly still needed his mother to come along to make sure his sunscreen was applied properly. Ouch.
My family went to great lengths to give me a lovely Mother’s Day, but watching my babies as adults- using the gifts and strengths and personalities that I’ve seen in them since they could talk- are all this Mama’s heart ever needs. But, shrimp and Mexican food certainly never hurt anything.
Y’all have a great weekend!
JONI
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I was just thinking about the same kinds of things you've articulated here Joni! I so enjoy my adult children and love being a friend to them! I still have a sweet 18 year old girl, and a 15 year old boy at home, but they are maturing fast and they'll be off before I know it.
ReplyDeleteI delight in seeing my kids as parents, hosting friends and family, growing a garden, working hard. I'm proud of them!