Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The Class of 86

Well, tonight, I got word that my 30th high school reunion is in its planning stages. 

That hurt my feelings. 

Thirty?  Really?

So, tonight's post will be Jeff Foxworthy style.

It might be time for your 30th high school reunion if.......

-Every time you turn around, it's Monday again......and again.....and again.

-You finally realize that Eleanor Roosevelt was right...."You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do".
-The "Home" section at TJ Maxx just starts looking like more stuff you'd have to dust.
-You start to think about things you never thought much about before.....like the benefits of CoQ10 and what you'd want sung at your funeral.

-You hear a bunch of popping and cracking when you get up in the morning and it ain't coming from the fireplace.

-Your kids get random gifts in April when you find Christmas presents hidden in your closet.

-You see a young mother with a screaming baby and say a quiet prayer of thanksgiving that yours no longer need the snot sucked out of their noses with a bulb syringe. 

-Thirty-five year olds call you ma'am and you wonder if you should change wrinkle creams.

-Since you're being called ma'am anyway, you want to go ahead and claim your senior discount at Popeye's. 

-You see some of the heels these young chicks have on and immediately think of the word, traction. 

-You like to think of yourself as a mid-lifer, but you'd have to live to 96 for that to still be accurate.

-You use your daughter's facial expressions instead of a mirror, because it's way more revealing. 

-You may get uneasy around the TiVo but, oh, how you could work a VCR.   

-You frequently have to resort to little pet names for people when you can't think of their real names..."Hey, pretty girl!  How have you been, my friend?"  You pray for name tags at the reunion or everyone there will be "pretty girl". 

-You find yourself saying things to the kids things like, "What is this awful crap you're listening to?  This is not music.....let me play you some music so you can hear the difference."

-You worry that when your Mom reads that you wrote "crap" on the internet, you'll be getting a call.

-You don't recognize any of the names in People

-You have to buy one of those pill organizers so you can remember if you took your medicine.  You know, like your grandmother did.

-You say things like, "Kids have it so easy these days".......not like us who had to get up to change the channel, answer the phone without knowing who it was, and drive all the way to our friend's house just to show her our prom pictures.

-Your kids promptly tell you to stop when you make even the slightest movement to the beat of music.

-The doctor wants to see you again before next year.

-You use inappropriate emojis and appear to be insensitive because you can never tell if the darn things are in tears of laughter or tears of sorrow?

-You speak and hear your mother...........except when you say, "crap".  You don't hear her then.

-You have to screen shot pictures on Instagram, so you can zoom in and actually see them. 

-You try to use some of the latest jargon to impress the kids, but find out that you know just enough to sound like Mister Rogers presenting the Grammy for Best Rap Album.

Thirty years.  Sigh. 

Night, y'all! 








  1. How delightfully fun! Some people age well and well, some, like me, not so much. Class of 76 myself. I went to the 10 yr and that was enough, but I dance the night away listening to my 70s music. Go for it Joni! Kathleen in Az

    1. I love some 70's music, Kathleen! I was an 80's girl myself and it wasn't bad either. I know I'll have fun!

  2. Again, you hit the nail right on the head.

  3. This is so funny, and oh, so true! I have my 35th next year. Can. Not. Believe it!
    And about the kids - remind them that they will blink and they'll be in your place!


    1. You're so right, Deanna. It happens fast! I'm sure you and I will both have a great time :)