Sunday, January 3, 2016

A Clean Slate

Another year is over. 
And the new year is usually our time to reflect and readjust.
It's like the first day of school.
The notebooks are new.
The crayons have perfect tips. 
The paper is unmarked.
The grade books are empty.
Everyone has a clean slate. 
The same opportunity for a fresh start.   
Only we can decide what we'll write. 
How much effort we'll exert.
How far we'll progress. 
Looking back over the last year, I feel pretty good about some of it.
The rest....not so much.       
There were things I wish I hadn't said. 
Times when I should've spoken up.
There were people I should have called.
Others....I'm glad I did.   
There were hours I shouldn't have wasted.
But, some were well spent. 
There were days when I was the bigger person.
And days when I was pretty small. 
I went the second mile for some. 
For others, I refused to budge.
I was selfish, some days......not giving any mind to anyone but myself.
Too busy for people who needed me.
Hoarding my time away. 
There were days I wish I could do again.
And days when I wouldn't change a thing.
Sometimes, I sought God's will.   
Other times, I tried to shut out the still, small voice.
I could've prayed more.
Worried less.
I made some good decisions.
And others that I regret. 
I wasn't always as kind as I could've been.
But, there were other times when I was generous and warm. 
There were days that I cried because my heart hurt.
And there were other days that I never wanted to end.
I lost some things.......and pouted.
But I gained some, too.
Sometimes, I felt I was in a rut.
Other times, I tapped into the excitement and thrill of living. 
Some days, I was scared and needed reassurance.
Other days, I felt like I could take on the world......full of confidence. 
At times, life seemed to pour out the best it had to offer.
Other times, I just wanted to put the day behind me.
There were things that made me smile and things that made me laugh.
There were moments I carefully filed away in my memory.
And ordinary ones that I've already forgotten.
Some days, I felt like I was pretty good at this parenting thing.
Other days, I really flubbed it up. 
I could've been more understanding and patient.
And given the same benefit of the doubt as I expect to receive. 
Sometimes, I used my words to build others up. 
Other times, my words could've been chosen more carefully.
There were nights I couldn't sleep. 
Days that seemed to go on forever.
Moments when I was overwhelmed with gratefulness.
Mindful of the less fortunate.   
Other days, I acted like a spoiled child who didn't have enough.
There were times when people I love were close to my heart.
Other times, I took them for granted.   
Sometimes, I was the giver. 
Sometimes, I received......awkwardly.
I forgave......not always forgot though.
And, plenty of times, I needed forgiveness and mercy for myself.        
There were moments when everything was right.
And days when it all seemed to go wrong.
I fell into some of the same holes......over and over and over.
Some days, it seemed like I took two steps forward and three steps back. 
Sometimes, I fully comprehended the brevity of life. 
Other days, I felt like I had all the time in the world.
There were times when I was energetic and productive.
And days when I just wanted to curl up and do nothing.
Sometimes, I desired to pursue eternal investments.
Other times, I was more than happy to just satisfy temporary wishes.
Each hour. 
Each day. 
Each year. 
Each....a new beginning.
Sometimes, I make the most of them....investing them wisely.
Sometimes, I wad them up and throw them aside like they're plentiful and worth very little.
Each New Year presents an opportunity to look behind me and change what I don't like.
I can choose to learn, give, and grow.
Or I can choose to settle and sit.    
It is up to me to decide.
What will I do with my clean slate?

Happy 2016 to y'all! 

And may God be merciful to you as you have to drag yourselves back to work today!   




  1. Good morning Joni,
    Everyday is precious and you have to be present. It's a gift, not worry about yesterday or tommorrow and smile more! There is wisdom in your words Joni. Experience from being a mom, wife, well, being a human. God graces us everyday and I do think he smiles ( blesses us ) at us.
    I hope the weather is not to bad where you live, with all the rain.
    take care, Kathleen in Az

    1. Amen to all that, Kathleen! And it finally got cold here! I'm loving it!