Sunday, February 7, 2016

The New Playbook

Carson was at D-Now this weekend.  For those of you who don't know what that is, it's an in-town Bible study retreat weekend for area-wide youth.  It's always a great time for teenagers with bands, speakers, and small group studies.  The kids stay in host homes for the weekend and I am persuaded that, in the sweet by and by, the Lord will extend an extra measure of blessings upon those people who have opened their houses to a gaggle of teenagers for the weekend.  I, myself, am counting on my one year as a hostess to snag me a fast-pass in the hereafter.  I'm not certain but I'm pretty sure a fast-pass gets you priority service at most of the attractions up there.....allowing you to bypass the people who never worked in Bible School or chaperoned a lock-in.  None of this is Biblical, it's just a hunch I have.        

Anyway, this year for D-Now, I was signed up to help with putting out the food for their lunch on Saturday as they were all meeting up at the church to eat.  I met some of the other moms there and we worked to get the food set up before the herd of wildebeests arrived. 

I saw Carson across the room talking with some guys.  I played it cool and didn't make eye contact and tried not to even look his way.  Just when I had the whole teenage girl thing perfected, she grows up on me and I have to start back at the beginning with a boy so I'm trying to shift gears from one to the other.  I'm not sure but I think the mothering rules are different with boys so everything I had ever learned or gotten use to with Blair is out the window.  We're using a different playbook now and, until I get this adolescent male thing figured out, I'm just going to play it cool.........and, let me tell you, I am nothing if not cool.  

As I was about to leave the church, I looked up and saw the back of his head and he was within just a few feet of me.  He was cutting up with some other boys in the food line.  I know all of you, moms, have been there......to speak or not to speak.  I stopped and had a conversation with myself in my head.  Do I say goodbye?  I know I don't hug him or kiss him......or ask him if he's brushing his teeth and changing his underwear.  Do I slap him on the back of the head?   Doesn't a slap to the head translate to, "I love you" in boy language?  I mean, their language isn't on Google Translate so there's really no way for a mom to know these things for sure.  I contemplated what to do.  "Nah, I'll just see him tomorrow," I thought and I left.     

I realized the boy/Mom playbook and the girl/Mom playbook may be two different things when Carson was only in pre-K.  One morning, I was walking him to his classroom through the long, winding hallways when he suddenly turned around and stood in front of me with his arms out in a traffic cop pose.  "Mama, stop!  Let's just kiss here," he said......"Wait, what?  You're four years old," I thought.  I was devastated.  He barely came up to my kneecaps and was already wanting to get the affection formalities out of the way before we got anywhere close to his classroom where the other 4 year old men folk could see. 

I wasn't used to that.  Blair would kiss me anywhere, anytime, any age.  I could walk up to her and a circle of girls and just strike up a conversation with them and she was fine with that.  I suppose it's hard for a Mom to do that with a bunch of guys, though.  "So, hey, fellas.......sup?  Y'all excited about the Super Bowl?  Who's playing in it?  Are the Panthers the ones with the pretty jerseys?  I love that color blue.  I guess I'd call it peacock blue or maybe a turquoise blue.  Either way, it's pretty.  I hope the game doesn't go into extra innings because there's a new episode of Fixer Upper I want to see.  Don't y'all just love that show?"  I can't even imagine the progressing shades of red he would turn.           
                
Yeah, Carson and I are incredibly close.  We enjoy a really strong mother/son bond but I'm "with it" enough to know that we don't have to show that out in public where there are other guys around.  I don't know a lot about boys but I did have brothers and I learned enough to know that "Mama's boy" is not a title that many teenage guys are striving to obtain.  So, to avoid that, I'll let him take the lead.  If he wants to hug, we hug.  If not, we don't.  He knows where to find me if he needs me.

Otherwise, I'm laying low.

     Y'all have a great Monday!

 

6 comments:

  1. I don't have a son, but it's true with most boys.
    I'm not familiar with D-Now. D means Devotional? Having groups of teens in your homes is a fast-pass:)
    Have a beautiful day, Kathleen in Az

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    1. D-Now is short for Disciple Now. I kept a group of girls the year I hosted and the hot water didn't hold out for very long. Never seen so many wet towels and hair products in all my life. :)

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  2. I'm learning on a boy first ... so far, he's still fine to be affectionate but I know those days are changing. I love my guy!

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    1. Awwww....aren't boys just the sweetest things, Missy June? And they do love their Mamas! When they get older, conditions just have to be right to show it. :)

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  3. Love this! I am sharing it with my daughter who is the mother of my only grandson who is about to be 12. As the mother of 2 girls, I have no firsthand experience to pass on to her, so thanks for taking my place today!! Hope you have a wonderful week!

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    1. Oh, sounds like she's on the verge of some fun years! No matter what boys think about loving on their Mom in front of their friends, they're still easier than girls in so many other ways!! Hope you have a great day, Jee Jee!

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