Sunday, May 7, 2017

Yeah, I'm a Runner

So, I don't think we've talked about the fact that I've started a wedding shape up program.  I mean, there was the twist board thing and then the twist board with weights but I needed to take it up a notch.  Not so much that I want to lose a lot of weight but I would like to shift some of it around and tone it up a bit since formal wedding attire offers a woman about as much muffin top concealment as, say, a piece of Glad Wrap.   

I've not really made any changes to my diet because I'm just not willing to go there yet.  That will be a last resort.  People talk of low carb and, I don't know why, but images of Hell come flooding into my mind.  I have made some small changes like I only eat dessert on Fridays and, more notably, I've cut out my tea.  My dear, precious tea.  I've given it up for its more tasteless counterpart, water.  Oh, water, you'd be so good if I were stranded out in the middle of the desert but that's about all I can say nice about you.....oh, and the fact that I use you to make tea.  My last self-imposed restriction is that I only eat at meal time.  Nothing in between.  Consequently, I go to bed hungry every night.  Every.  Night.   

Perhaps most noteworthy, since I'm not willing to give up any of the beloved food groups, I've started running with Blair.  Ok.  Well, running is a strong word.  A slow jogging.  Or an awkward trotting.  Whatever you want to call it, we walk/run/walk/run.  The only rule I've demanded is that we must run under the cover of darkness and, if a car passes by, running must cease until it is out of sight.  I'm not ready to run for the public just yet.

I bought these fancy running shoes and some of those tight workout pants that resemble a wet suit.    And after hearing me complain, Blair bought me a sports bra which is pretty easy to put on but if anybody has a good tip for getting out of one of those without becoming overwrought with rage, please let me know. To say that I'm well equipped for my new fitness endeavor would be an understatement.  I really look the part of someone who knows what she's doing.  You know, like one of those women you see in the grocery store straight from her kickboxing/spin/yoga classes, who's shopping for beets and kale for her juicer......only minus the beets and the kale.     

When we first started, I could only run/gallop/flounder from one mailbox to the next before I started to feel like I was experiencing some sort of fatal cardiac event but, now, I can go about 4 mailboxes before I feel death is near.  That's progress, I'd say.  I think I'll get a "4" sticker for my car.  Forget those 26.2 and 13.1 decals.  Pshhh.  I do experience some aches and pains in my knee, hip, and some of my other joints when I "run" but I suppose that's to be expected in an almost 50 year old woman.  I turn 49 this week and so I'm starting to get a little rickety when I do certain things that were once done with ease.  Don't worry.  This is all just a temporary effort.  After October 6, I don't plan to ever run again.........unless it's free tea day at McAlister's or something really pressing like that.        

To date, I've lost 6 lbs. but it's a very fluid situation.  A couple of weeks ago, I looked at a peach cobbler from across a crowded room and gained one back.  You know how metabolism stops being a team player when it gets to a certain age.         

Yep, I turn 49 on Wednesday.  Hanging onto the 40's by my fingernails.  I'm not old enough to remember a Victrola, kerosene lamps, or outhouses but old enough to know about Friday Night Videos, penny candy, tube socks, nurses in white hats, and Gee,Your Hair Smells Terrific.  So, I'm old enough, ok? 

I find myself at a place where it's difficult to know things like who I should "yes, ma'am", if my eyebrows need a pencil yet and whether that's a shirt or a dress.  I'm somewhere between ovulation kits and hormone patches.  I'm way past nesting and getting closer to empty nesting.  In most ways, I love it here where I am.  Other ways are a little sad.

But, I'm thankful for another birthday and everything God has given me in my 49 years.  It's been a good ride so far.

Y'all have a great Monday! 




  1. Friday Night Videos and Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific...ah the good old days!!

  2. Happy Birthday! My 49th happened a few weeks ago and I agree that it's very much an "in between" age.

  3. Happy Birthday Joni! may you look less muffintop in your lovely Mother of the Bride dress, that is my Birthday wish for you:)! You'll look radiant with joy when you see Blair walking down the aisle with her dad:).
    Have beautiful day,
    Kathleen in Az

  4. Congrats on losing six pounds! and Happiest of Birthdays to you. I do the run/jog/walk thing myself and I love getting outdoors each day...but there is more of the walking than the running these days.

  5. Congratulations on your weight loss and Happy Birthday!

  6. Happy Birthday!! I could use a "4" sticker also...I just don't understand how anyone could think running is fun!!