Have there been times in your life when you wished you could wear a sign around your neck to explain something about yourself or your current situation? Maybe you thought it would save a lot of questions or speculation about something that’s going on at the time. I’ve had plenty of those and could even use some signs right about now. For instance, currently, we could use one in our yard. Maybe one of those big flashing ones with the arrow. “Yes, we dug up our landscaping and we are fully aware that it looks awful. Waiting on landscaper consult.” This would explain that this is not a permanent minimalist look we’re implementing and would quell any neighborly concerns. I’d also like to have a sign to wear when I’m out walking Otis, “Yes, I know- you’ve seen me outside more in the last month than in the entire 19 years I’ve lived here. Fostering feral dog from Wal-mart. Call 911 if it appears warranted.” That way, all the neighbors, who drive past us on their way to work, could read it as I sail by like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade ballon on the end of Otis’s leash. It would explain the situation and answer any questions anyone might have about my sudden oneness with the outdoors and from whence this untamed hound came. 

I could’ve benefited from some signage that time I knocked over a maxi pad display with my shopping cart. “Please, just keep moving and pretend you don’t see me over here re-stacking this pallet of feminine products.” A few years ago, I would’ve liked a sign to explain a fresh, raised scar in the middle of my neck. “Neck surgery, not a throat slashing.” I’ve wished for Davis to have a few signs- “Joni wasn’t home when I got dressed. I put this shirt with these pants myself.” Yesterday, I could’ve used one on the back of my car as I was taking Ruby to the vet. “There’s a nervous dog standing on my center console, which is why I’m making turns like a 97 year old who can’t see over the steering wheel.” And I (and anyone else who drives a newer vehicle) could definitely benefit from an illuminated sign permanently strapped to the top of my car. “My lights ARE on dim.” 

Other helpful signs include but are not limited to: 

“I know, I know. I have a hair appointment next Tuesday!”

“No, I’m not crying. It’s allergy season.” 

“This is just the primer.”

“I’m normally a more patient person, but I’m menopausal.” 

“I’m buying these Depends for someone else.”

Those are all silly signs, I know, but I’ve had days when my sign would’ve relayed a much more serious message and I know you’ve had those, too.

“My daddy is dying with cancer. I may be smiling, but my heart is completely broken.” 

“I miscarried and I’m still mourning on the inside.” 

“Waiting on test results. Sorry if I seem distracted.” 

I remember when I struggled with postpartum depression issues after one of my babies. It may have been one of the darkest times I’ve ever had. I’d never experienced anything like that before or, thankfully, since. I didn’t want to go anywhere but there was a party that I felt obligated to attend. A party- that was the last place I wanted to be. I was on the verge of tears when Davis and I drove up, but I took a deep breath and got out of the car with my heart pounding in my chest. It had taken everything I had just to get dressed and look party-appropriate. I went in and smiled and laughed and tried to do all the normal things, but I was really just wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible and get back to a place where I didn’t have to pretend. If I’d had a sign that night, it might have said, “I’m a mess. I haven’t slept in weeks, my hands are trembling, and it’s taking every bit of energy I have just to hold myself together.” 

I know a lot of people who are going through some tough things right now. Really tough things. Everyday, we pass people and, if we knew what their sign would say, it would likely break our hearts. Most of the time, we smile and carry on like everything is fine. We’re really good at pretending. Maybe social media has made us that way. Maybe we were always taught that a lady keeps her business to herself and doesn’t air her problems. But, sometimes, the words that bring the most relief are “me, too” spoken by a close confidant. Or “I prayed for you, this morning” from a trusted friend. Or just ordinary kindness from a stranger who knows nothing about our situation. 

Since sign wearing isn’t really a thing, maybe it’s safest to take what Ian Maclaren wisely wrote to heart, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” May we, especially as Christians, never be the reason someone’s bad day gets worse. May we never speak words that break someone’s spirit. May our words never cause someone to go backwards in their struggle. May we use words that draw people toward life and hope in Christ because everyone is or will be or has just come from a difficult place. Life is hard. It really is. We rarely talk about it and we don’t carry signs. So may we treat everyone the way we’d want to be treated on our very worst day. Just in case it happens to be theirs. 

“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

“God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Happy Weekend, friends!

JONI