The year is 1977 and the night you’ve been waiting for is finally here. It’s Halloween and your heart is racing with excitement. You’ve watched the Charlie Brown special on CBS, colored the jack-o-lantern color sheets at school, had your class party with spider rings and cupcakes, won a cake at your church carnival, and now it’s finally showtime. 

Your mom is in the kitchen cooking supper a little early so you and your siblings can go trick or treating. You finish underlining the noun and verb in some sentences and working the mimeograph sheet of multiplication problems you had for homework. It was hard to think of your teacher as the kind of cold-hearted person it would take to give a kid homework on this exciting night of the year. You put your work in your Trapper Keeper- the one with the cute puppies on the front- and you slide it back into your book satchel. Before you latch the twist turn buckles, you grab your newest Weekly Reader to help pass the time that had slowed to a crawl. 

Your dad comes in from work and turns on Walter Cronkite. The news- the most boring program that comes on all day. But, it’s 6:00 and it’s on all three channels. Your mom is making a new thing called hamburger macaroni- her homemade version of the new boxed kind that’s all the rage. She announces that dinner will be ready as soon as the Brown ‘n Serve rolls are done and it’s time to wash hands. You go in the bathroom and grab a rose-shaped soap out of the pretty bowl and give your hands a quick wash. After eating a reasonable amount of macaroni, the five required green beans, and a roll, you’re dismissed from the table to get ready for the big night. 

Your brother is going to be a hobo. Your mom frayed some of his old jeans at the bottom and tore holes in the knees. She sewed patches on a t-shirt and painted a five o’clock shadow on his chin with some tempera paint. She added a stick from the yard with a bandana pouch tied on the end and he’s ready to go. Your little brother is the Incredible Hulk. He never misses an episode of Bill Bixby getting angry and having his clothes rip apart. He has a plastic mask with the elastic string around the back of his head and the coordinating plastic suit. He complains he can’t see but it doesn’t keep him from taking on the part. You’re Little Red Riding Hood and your mom has warned you not to scuff your black patent leather Mary Janes because they’re your Sunday school shoes. She made you a red cape with the sewing machine she got from Sears. She gets you a basket down from the top of her cabinets and puts your hair in pig tails to finish you off. Everyone is ready to go. Your mom can only find one plastic pumpkin, so she gives it to your little brother. She tells you to use your basket that’s part of your costume and she finds your big brother a paper bag from A&P for his candy-hauling vessel. 

You’ve got the whole neighborhood to pillage of all their candy. You start at your closest neighbor’s house. You see their Chevrolet Caprice Classic with the blue velour seats and the Gerald Ford sticker still on the bumper parked in the carport. That’s a good sign. Now you see the porch light is on- the second telltale sign that there’s candy to be had at this location. You ring the doorbell and your neighbor answers holding a bowl. She’s got the most beautiful green shag carpet and her stereo is playing Rita Coolidge. You see she’s got the TV turned to CHiPs. She carries on about how cute you all look and you realize it’s time to say those magical words that you’ve practiced in your head all week. “Trick or treat,” you all say in unison- you and a few other kids who’ve wandered up behind you. You hold your basket out and your siblings extend their various candy receptacles. The neighbor drops candy down to all of you and you hear the glorious thud of it hitting the bottom of your brother’s pumpkin. That was the sound of Halloween and the candy harvest had just begun. Your mom gives you a reminder of what to say for the bounty and you parrot the niceties. 

You dart from house to house collecting candy and popcorn balls and, in some unfortunate cases, apples, peppermint, and those awful peanut butter things in the orange and black wrappers. You hit every house with an illuminated porch light with the exception of the one on the hill. They keep to themselves and your parents don’t know anything about them. You keep walking past because you can’t be too careful about candy with hidden razor blades or poison. You hear that’s a big thing. Your little brother is getting ornery because his face is sweating in the plastic mask and he can’t breathe through the two small nostril holes. Your other brother’s knapsack came off of his stick four houses ago and his painted beard has flaked off. You still look pretty good except the cape is making your neck itch and your pigtails are lopsided. It’s time now to head home to count your riches and enjoy a little refined sugar before bed. After all, it’s a school night. 

You pour all the goodness out onto the floor. Your mom goes through it to see if her eagle eye detects any wrapper tampering. Your dad helps himself to one of your peanut butter bars with the brown striped wrappers. It’s time to get your trading done with your siblings, so you can move the candy to an undisclosed location to avoid any further thievery. Before negotiations take place, you know it’s important to group the candy into piles according to categories. Any seasoned trick-or-treater like yourself knows this helps identify the areas where you’re heavy and where you’re lacking. One large Tootsie Roll, 2 Big Bol candies that turn to gum, a root beer barrel, and a Butterfinger are traded off for a Banana Split, a chocolate BB Bat, 2 Bit-o-Honeys, and a Chick O Stick. Seems fair. Cinnamon Discs, Bazooka gum, wax lips, Bottle Caps, $100,000 Bars, Now and Laters, Sugar Daddies, Charms suckers, Pixie Sticks, Brach’s Royals, Space Dust, Neapolitan coconut candy- they’re all at the center of negotiations until every party is satisfied with the trades. As you untie your red cape and unbuckle your Mary Janes, you think of all the fun the night had brought- not to mention the glorious heap of confections. You just didn’t realize how fast the night would go. And as you head off to bed in your lopsided pigtails, you had no idea how fast your childhood would go. 

May we never outgrow the joy in little things- the way we did back then. 

Keep your light on for the kids. They’re only little once. 

Night-

JONI