Sunday, September 21, 2014

Drive-By Sympathy?

Ok.....so let me start by saying that Mississippi State beat LSU.......in Baton Rouge.....at Death Valley...... in front of a night time crowd.......of just under 103,000 people......and in the statistical world that is equivalent to your being struck by lightening....twice......while on your way to redeem your winning Mega Millions lottery ticket.  It's been 23 years since we won there, so to say that we are excited would be like saying that Miley Cyrus is confused.......it's an understatement.  We couldn't be more proud of our Bulldogs!   

And so besides my team's impressive win, it's been a slow news weekend, so I've decided that we should take this opportunity to discuss something that has been curled up in the back of my mind for about a week now.  A topic that has surfaced in the news and could have major social implications for all of us.  I don't normally address sensitive topics like this here but I felt it was not something that we could just gloss over or ignore.  I want to talk to you today about drive-thru funeral homes.

I know you've seen this.  Reportedly, there is a funeral home in Michigan which is offering a new service........a drive-thru window for viewing the deceased.  Citing today's hectic lifestyle, the funeral home owner implemented this new service as a way to accommodate the busy schedules of the grieving.  As I understand it, when you pull up to the window, music begins playing over the speaker and the curtain opens for three minutes, so that the passengers can view the body of the dearly departed.  At the end of the viewing, a register book drawer slides out on which you can document your sympathies and be on your way.
So just think of it like this......you're sitting at home in your sweat pants with your wet hair in a towel and a Biore' strip on your nose when you suddenly remember....."Oh, my!  We forgot about Mrs. Peabody's visitation tonight!"......Well, this feature would allow you to just slip into some flip flops, grab a Diet Coke out of the frig, throw the kiddos in the car, pop in the Frozen DVD, and head out to take care of that obligation with little to no problem.  On the way, you could think of something cleverly touching to write when the register book slides out like the bank drawer.   

It's mourning made easy...all from the comfort of your own car.  I suppose the three minute time limit is to prevent the hanging out of windows and honking of impatient mourners behind you....sympathy rage, if you will.  In the dignity department, the whole grieving process could become just a step or two above ordering the 12 piece mixed bucket....extra crispy with mashed potatoes and extra napkins. 

I have some questions about this.....I mean, you know......being a southern girl and all...we kind of hold on tight to our social traditions......Wouldn't you have a lot of "crank" visitors?  Like bored teenagers out looking for a good laugh or just gawkers....all armed with camera phones.  Isn't the purpose of a visitation to visit with the grieving family?  Is the family also in there and, if so, would you just give them a friendly wave, a thumbs up, or a tap on the window?  How do you know you're at the right window?  Will there by a flashing marquis out by the road announcing who's "now showing"?  Do the kids get a sucker?  Is there a drawer for casseroles or do I have to park and go in for that?  I mean....you know.....because that would be a pain.        

I'm just trying to make sense of it all.  Maybe they didn't think this thing thru.....pardon the pun.

I know we're busy people but perhaps we've got too much going on if it's come to this.  I mean if we can't get some pants on and park the car....maybe we're just too busy.  Hmmm.   


  





     

            

5 comments:

  1. well i'm an Auburn girl through and through but i was soooo excited to see Miss. St. beat that ol' LSU bunch! Now of course when it's OUR turn to play ya'll....well that will be a different story!

    I saw that article on the drive by viewing....made me go hmmmmm...not sure i "cotton" to that and i really don't want anyone "viewing" me from the comforts of their car. what's next....offering popcorn and cokes just before you get to the viewing window? like i said...hmmmmm.

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    1. Glad to know you're an Auburn girl....fellow Ag school! Still flying high about the win! That doesn't happen often......for any team !! And you might submit your popcorn and coke suggestion. They might like that idea at the Paradise Funeral Chapel. ;)

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  2. That is just crazy!!!! It seems so disrespectful. It certainly doesn't help the grieving people who need some hugs and kind words.

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    1. I just can't even wrap my brain around it, Happyone. Call us old fashioned, I guess.

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  3. Hahahaha!! Oh my word. As much as I’d love to have my grandmother here on earth still, there are things I am glad she didn’t live to see. Funerals became her social life. Making funeral food, her hobby. When you said you had to park the car to bring in a casserole, I laughed out loud because that is just what my grandmother would do. Drive thru or not. She’d park the Grand Marquis and bring in the chicken and noodles. This was a delight to read!

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