For always insisting you take the last piece of pie when, secretly, she wanted it more than life itself.

For using her cupped hands to catch the contents of your stomach when you got sick in the middle of her favorite dress shop. 

For dragging you to piano lessons every week, kicking and screaming, all while telling you that you'd thank her one day.

For smelling the armpits of the shirts you left on your bedroom floor to determine if they were clean or dirty.

For making you sit up straight and poking your shoulder blades as a reminder to hold your shoulders back. 

For unknowingly walking around with dried spit up on her shoulder for the first year of your life. 

For the muffin top you gave her, which will be with her until the day they close her casket.  

For cooking your favorite meal on your birthday even though it always consisted of a fried meat and three starches.

For reminding you that you were not raised in a barn just before saying, "This is why we can't have nice things".

For carrying your ghastly school picture around in that plastic picture sleeve that came with her wallet. 

For quietly pinching you under the table instead of slapping your face and causing a big scene like she should have.   

For your large head circumference taking away her ability to laugh or sneeze without concern.   

For telling you how pretty you were during those awkward years when she knew the truth.

For using her finger to get the sleep boogers out of the corners of your eyes on your way into church.

For teaching you which fork to use when there were more forks on the table than you could shake a stick at.   

For holding out her arm to keep you from crashing through the windshield.

For letting you lick the beaters before raw eggs were bad.

For all the times you wiped your nose on her blouse and drooled on her skirt in church. 

For sucking out your nasty nose with that bulb thing.   

For holding you over the public toilet, so you wouldn't contract a dreadful disease for which there was no cure. 

For warning you that your eyes would get stuck that way until you finally stopped. 

For never wanting a second piece of chicken.   

For giving you "the talk" as vague, awkward, and uninformative as it was.

For having just enough OCD to insist she glue the pictures down on your science project board, so they'd all be straight.

For all the times you made her cry......like when you took your first step, outgrew your crib, went to kindergarten, told her she was the worst mother ever, and left for college. 

For using your middle name as a warning to you to put your hands up to protect your face.

For bending over the bathtub and bathing your wiggling tail, while her knees dug into the pink ceramic tile.

For cutting your meat up into small pieces, so you didn't choke to death.

For lying to you for your own good about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and the fact that spanking you hurt her more than you. 

For agreeing to sit in the passenger seat, while you learned to drive despite the strong possibility that she would die.  

For wearing the $3 necklace that you gave her out in public.....and for the green ring it left around her neck.  

For licking her fingers to get the grape jelly off your face before you got out of the car for school.

For these things and more, we could never thank our mothers enough.  If you find a card, which mentions any of these quiet acts of love and sacrifice, I suggest you buy it.  It would do your mother's heart some good to know that you recognize what an absolute burden you were.......a leech on her very existence.   

Only four more shopping days, so get out there and get your Mama something good! 

Happy Wednesday, y'all!