Thursday, August 27, 2015

Are We Still On for Tomorrow?

We've all got friends.  We've got lots of different kinds of friends.  We have friends from childhood and high school and college.  We have friendships with mothers whose children are friends with our children -I had dinner with some of those this week.  We have work friends -had lunch with a group of those kinds of friends yesterday.  We've got friends who have the same interest as, music, running, sewing.  We've got friendships that form in specific friends, sorority friends, gym friends, soccer mom friends.  There are a thousand different ways to become friends and who doesn't enjoy a little friend time?  It's good for the soul.

With that being said, there is a phenomenon, related to socializing with friends, that I feel is universal.  Something that I believe we all experience from time to time and don't tell me you don't do this.......   

About two weeks out, we make these grand social plans with our friends.  We're all going to get together, go to dinner, catch a movie, and then invite them all back to our house for dessert.  It will be so much fun and that sounds great to everyone........when it's two weeks away. 

About a week out, you start to think about the logistics and the reality that those logistics bring...... 
Do we need to leave the children home alone for that long?  Can we find a sitter?  I have to be at work early the next day.  I have to clean my house and what dessert will I make?   It's going to be so late when we get out of the movie.  I didn't know I have a meeting that afternoon.  I'm so tired. 
Blah, blah, blah.    

So, about 2 days out, we start looking at the weather.....any sign of a hurricane making landfall or any sort of watches and warnings.  I mean, it wouldn't be safe to go out in any of that.  If the weather forecast is clear, we may start to send out texts to feel everyone else out.  "Are we still on for tomorrow night?"  Deep down wishing someone has forgotten and has made other plans.  In that case, you could reschedule a time which is better for maybe in two weeks.  Everything sounds good in two weeks.  After all, it would be the only considerate thing to do to make accommodations for everyone's schedule.

And you certainly wouldn't wish sickness on anyone, but if only one person....just one.....was feeling poorly, then it would be best to just wait when everyone could go.  "Let's just wait until we can all go" is code for "Please, please, please, don't make me put on a bra and go anywhere tonight".

You start to experience guilt and worry for feeling this way.  I mean, what is wrong with you, anyway?!?  You love your friends!  Get yourself together!  What are you 87?  You start to question, if given the opportunity, would you be content to just become a hermit living in your own filth with 45 cats to scratch all of your social itches.   

We do this with starting something new, too.  "This summer, I'm going to start going to the gym" or  "Next month, I'm going to do the 5k run".  My friend, Julie, and I were going to start yoga in August.  I mean, after all, we're closer to 50 than to 40 and we need to improve/maintain our flexibility.  If by "starting in August", we meant August 31, then we're still on track, but it's just not coming together like we envisioned.  It's all fun and games talking about yoga in August when it's June, but when it's time to actually drag your tail and your new mat to the only two empty spots, on the front row, and attempt a downward facing dog in your skin tight pants for all of rows 2-6 to see.......well, then it becomes a bit more problematic.        

This phenomenon also occurs when we're planning children's birthday parties.  Three months out, we've got it all planned.  We're going to rent this big, inflatable water slide for the backyard.  We'll invite all the parents, grill burgers and dogs, rent a snowball machine, and the kids can all spend the night.  There will be a glow in the dark piñata, movies on a big screen in the backyard, and after a big waffle bar breakfast the next day, we'll take them all home.  It will be a blast.

Invitations go out.  It's all good......until one week before.  Let's've got 15 kids and their parents and their siblings coming to your backyard (which needs serious landscape attention) to eat burgers.....that's 15 kids, 30 parents, 12 siblings......57 x buns, chips, condiments, drinks, ice cream, plates, ice, yada yada yada.  27 kids with wet grass on their feet going in and out of your house to use the restroom.  Snowball juice on your new sofa.  And what were you thinking when you said spend the night???  Were you doing crack cocaine that day?  That's tacking on 15 more hours of them running after the dog with those foam sword party favors, wetting your toilet seats, spewing silly string everywhere, and spilling liquids containing red dye 40 on your rugs.  Your trial run of the glow in the dark piñata didn't work, so you take that pin off of your "Party Ideas" Pinterest board.  The waffle bar, well, you decide to change that to the Pop Tart bar.  What kid doesn't like those?  And you don't have to get up near as early to remove those silver foil packages from their boxes.  You wrote on the invitation (sent out 2 weeks ago) you'd have them home by 10:00 a.m., but wonder if their parents would mind you bringing them a little earlier.......say 6:15?  I mean, after all, they got up at 4:45.....along with their foam swords, which seemed like such a good purchase a month ago.  

Don't tell me I'm alone in this.  Plans seem the most exciting......the peak of their perfection at 2-4 weeks away.  As they draw closer, you start to see their cracks, flaws, their maybe you didn't think it all the way through.  You know you've all had that friend call and say, "I'm just not going to be able to make it tonight.  Can we reschedule?" and after you've expressed all the appropriate disappointment, you get off the phone and say, "Yes, yes, yes!!!  I don't have to get out in the cold, leave my chair, blanket OR this rerun of House Hunters that never, ever gets old!!"

It's ok.  We all do it.  

I think that there's one simple explanation for this dichotomy.  The desire that exists to see friends, visit with them, and be social and the desire to stay home and be quiet.  I propose that the answer is simple.......

In order to be social, you have to put on pants.  Period. 

That, my friends, is the missing piece to this age old puzzle.  We want to go out.  We want to start new things.  We want to entertain, but.......the pants.   Is it worth putting on pants? 
If there are any other mysteries of life you need answered, please, don't hesitate to ask.  I am here for you. 

I hope y'all have a great weekend! 

See you soon! 



  1. Funny post Joni, there have been times when plans are called off, I'm relieved. Have a wonderful weekend, Kathleen in Az

    1. Thanks, Kathleen. Have a great Labor Day weekend!

  2. OH MY GOODNESS. TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN. I have experienced every single example you listed. I did kind of imagine I am the only one who ever has these feelings, so it's good to know I'm not alone.

    1. You are not alone, Miss Dishywoo. You are not alone. :)