Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Missed a Spot

We've had some beautiful days around here, lately.  When we were on our way to church this past Sunday morning, I was enjoying the bright sunshine and all the spring flowers along the way.  The sky was incredibly blue and the new spring growth was that extra vibrant shade of green. 

We'd left home kind of hurriedly because Carson had to be at church for a quick youth choir rehearsal before Sunday school and so I decided to use my time in the car for a quick check of myself.  You know how we have to do, ladies.  Pull the visor down, slide the mirror open, and check our hair, teeth, eyebrows, chin, and nose in the sunlight.  You know, just to be sure. 

You could have a wiry, gray hair sticking straight out of the top of your head.  You could have Clinique Sugared Maple Long Last Lipstick smeared across every tooth.  You could have a little foreign something suspended from your nostril.  You could be in Phase 2 of a unibrow and not even know it.  And if you're over 40, there's always the risk of there being a weed or two protruding from your chin.  A ride in a sun-filled car is always an ideal time to check for these types of undesirables.  

So, I quickly went through the 6 checkpoint system and deemed myself to be in fair to satisfactory condition to appear in a public setting.  I slid the mirror shut, pushed up the visor, and looked down to adjust my dress.  That's when I saw it.

The sunlight was beaming in at just the right angle to illuminate the half dozen hairs on my knee.  You all know what I'm talking about.  These weren't stubble sized hairs either.  No, ma'am.  This was like a small patch of sea oats blowing in a coastal breeze as I believed I could detect some slight movement in them in the gusts coming from the AC. 
My right knee.

"Dang it," I thought as I pulled at my dress to see if it would cover the offending area.  "Dang it" is the upper limit of acceptable vocal expressions of frustration that a Southern Baptist should use while on her way to Sunday School but I was having a weak moment.  Anyway, I thought that if the dress failed to cover it, I would always have leg crossing as my second line of defense in such a situation.  I just had to remember......left leg over right.  

I moved on from that and Davis and I started talking about something else.  I looked over at him to say something and that's when I saw it.  This patch of whiskers growing right up under his nose that he'd missed in his shaving that morning.  He kinda looked like Laurel...or Hardy.  Whichever one. 
Davis (pictured left)

"Um, Davis, I think you missed a spot."  He turned the rearview mirror toward himself and assessed his oversight. 

Now, I keep a lot of things in my car.  Kleenex.  Hand sanitizer.  A Tide to Go Pen.  Fingernail file.  Mace.  Hand lotion.  Breath mints.  Note pad and pen.  Pain reliever.  Tire gauge.  Band-Aids.  Benadryl.  Even a pistol.  I suppose we could've used the Band-Aids like wax strips.  Put them on the areas and then pulled them off real fast.  We could've tried to file them until smooth, I suppose.   Maybe we could have greased them down with some of the lotion.  But, at that point, our kingdom for a razor.   

Oh, well.  We went on to church knowing that the Lord loves us and bids us come as we are.  Like the song says, "Just As I Am."  I suppose this is just the tip of the iceberg with progressively worse days ahead.  At some point, there will be the Sunday when I will look over and see hair coming from Davis' ears like a Chia Pet.  There will be the day when my lipstick is so far out of the lines that I'll look like I should be popping out of a barrel at the rodeo.  He'll have toilet paper stuck to his shoe and the back of my dress will be tucked into my pantyhose when I come out of the mall restroom.  My seatbelt will be hanging out of the car door making sparks on the street as we drive off and his nostrils will look as if they need the services of a weed eater. 

Yes.  And we'll look back and remember the Sunday that it all started.

Happy Wednesday, people!  Be diligent with the razor before you head out today. 






  1. Oh yes indeedy! Chin hairs for me, always checking!
    Have a beautiful day, Kathleen in Az

    1. Don't you love it, Kathleen? Ugh.

  2. Sometimes I go to the driveway and sit in the car to pluck my eyebrows just because the light is so much better. I have my regular tweezers in my makeup bag, my car tweezers, and my emergency tweezers in my purse. You never know when those pesky things are going to pop up and out!

    1. I am, obviously, going to have to invest in a car pair and a purse pair as well, Mama Hen. The older I get, it's becoming increasingly apparent.

  3. Oh my goodness, you're hysterical. I was laughing so hard I couldn't read it out loud to my husband. Thanks for the great laugh!

  4. Oh, you're sweet, Cindee! Glad I could give you a laugh :)