February continues as the month of anniversaries. This week, Davis and I will celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary. Thirty-three years ago, we went out on our first date on Valentine’s Day. Thirty-two years ago from this Thursday, guests arrived at our 2:00 wedding at the church I’d gone to all of my life. The 55 year old me now realizes a 2:00 wedding messes up the whole day for everybody, so that’s on me if you were there. The piano and organ were playing wedding numbers like “Clair de Lune” and Piano Sonata No. 8 in C Minor- the classics by all the greats. The male guests donned their suits, ties, and tasseled loafers while the women had wrangled themselves into pantyhose, high heels, and wide belts that were cinched around their waists. I’d even venture to say there’d been some beauty shop appointments on the previous day. Banked by our closest friends and beautiful flowers, Davis and I promised to stick it out through thick and thin in front of God and the crowd gathered there. There were teary mothers with big corsages and daddies dressed in uncomfortably tight collars and shiny shoes. At 105 pounds soaking wet, I’d selected a form fitting satin number with lots of beadwork, a bow just above my rear, and a detachable train. Davis sported his traditional black tux and his large round glasses were at the height of eyewear fashion of the time. The minister recited the love chapter. Someone sang “The Lord’s Prayer.” We kissed and were introduced. Everyone clapped and we walked out of there. 

In the 90’s, where else would you have your reception besides downstairs in the fellowship hall? Finger foods of every description and layers of cake awaited the mid-afternoon crowd- hungry after an afternoon of nuptial spectating. Gallons of chilled punch were sitting on ready with an ice ring of some description floating at the top of the silver bowl. Guests juggled plates and cups while nibbling, sipping, and working the room- one of those skills learned from years of Baptist fellowship hall experience. The piano player had shifted to lighter, livelier tunes to set the tone for the reception. Gifts accumulated on a table in the corner- most likely Lenox Solitaire china, cobalt blue Fiestaware, and jewel tone towels- all so 90’s. We all moved outside, after a while, where we threw the bouquet and garter into the air for our friends to fight over, ran through a hailstorm of rice, and loaded into a white limo to head out to our new life together. 

The wedding is the easiest part of getting married and then you have to go home and try to figure out how to come together on thermostat settings, mattress firmness, dishwasher-loading techniques, and toilet seat etiquette. Not to mention who sleeps on which side of the bed, where you’ll spend holidays, and what to name the children. Add in the expectations we all bring from our growing-up home life experiences plus all those things you had no idea about like how terribly loud he breathes when he sleeps and you’ve got a lot to hammer out between you. That two becoming one thing can be a booger when very different people are trying to figure out how to merge. 

Marriage also goes through different seasons. There were those newlywed years when we spoiled each other. With just the two of us to consider, we exchanged extravagant gifts at Christmas, traveled, and enjoyed a lot of time together. The kids came and I stayed home with them, so we trimmed all the fat off the budget and made it work. With two children, we’d pass each other coming and going as they kept us busy….not to mention working to pay for the expensive creatures that they are. Now we’re back to where we started 32 years ago- just Davis and me. It took a couple of mournful weeks for me to adjust to not having any children at home, but soon we nestled down into the soft feathers they’d left behind and took to the empty nest quite nicely. It may be one of my favorite seasons so far- but don’t tell our kids. It would hurt their feelings. I guess we just sit and wait for the next season now. The one where the kids take our keys, clean out our house, and move us into a facility, where I’ll go to crafts class and Davis will sit in the game room and watch sports with the only other man resident in the building. I can see where that could be fun, too. 

In looking back over the last 32 years, I’ve made some choices I’m quite sure weren’t the best. My bridesmaid dresses. Blair’s clown themed nursery. Maternity overalls. The wedge haircut. Agreeing to an in-home vacuum demonstration. One thing’s for certain though- Davis Miller will always be one of my finest choices. I’m not sure what I would do without him. I’m not even sure what I would’ve done the last two weeks without him. He is the love chapter and I’m thankful God gave him to me. 

We’re heading out tomorrow for a few days in Chattanooga. The kids will join us there on Thursday for a long weekend. We were planning to go out West, but the timing just wasn’t right with Blair’s upcoming embryo transfer on April 2. We all felt the loss of Otis and we all look forward nervously but with hopeful anticipation to April 2. On this anniversary, it just felt right that we should all be together. 

Hope you have a great day! See you next week. 

JONI