First, thank you for all your sweet words. When our hearts are sad, there is no substitution for the comfort of friends. This week marks 10 years of being friends with you through this blog and we’ve experienced a lot of things in those years. Graduations, grief, a wedding, national tragedies, personal losses, celebrations, an empty nest, milestone birthdays, surgeries, retirements, a pandemic, election seasons, menopause. Even a casting call from Naked and Afraid. For every one of us, life weaves triumph, pain, loss, exhilaration, sorrow, joy- all together in our summation of days. We couldn’t bear the sorrow without the hope of joy returning and we wouldn’t appreciate the joy without feeling the occasional sting of sorrow. Matters of love, loss, change- they’re pretty universal and, thankfully, we can relate and share those experiences together. I’ve so enjoyed doing that with you for a decade. 

As I always do, I was reading the comments on Otis’s post and one, in particular, stopped me in my tracks. So much so that I’m writing a whole post around it. LeighAnn, a reader who I don’t know personally, wanted me to know that she was having trouble sleeping last Monday night. As is her custom when she can’t sleep, she uses that time to pray for her children and family. LeighAnn said, as she was praying for them, she felt a nudge to pray for me, a lady she’d never met. Although she felt like she knew me through the blog, she had no idea why she was being moved to randomly pray for me, but she did and she’ll never fully realize what that meant to me. That she would take time to pray for a stranger for an undisclosed reason.

The flip side of that is, in the middle of the night on Monday, while I was fast asleep and blissfully unaware- the God of heaven and earth was looking ahead to what little me would experience within just a couple of days and considered my upcoming heartache to be significant enough that He paused to ask one of His children to pray for me. Even with wars and sickness and death and chaos of every kind going on in the world, He took a moment to lead His child to pray for me because I was going to lose a dog I loved. Imagine that. Something very small in comparison to so many other things. He knew I would need certain things in extra measure from Him. Things I had no idea I’d need. LeighAnn did her part and God did His and I’m so thankful she relayed the story to me. It completely humbled me. 

The various pains I carry around in my heart are different from the ones you bear. Some of our struggles are big and public and make their way onto prayer lists or even newspapers, but most are the ones we carry quietly and try to come to grips with on our own through prayer. If I asked us all to list the things that are weighing on our hearts in the comment section, our lists would all be unique and far-reaching. We might read them all and be tempted to subconsciously rank them in order of severity and significance, but God doesn’t do that. All He knows is, if one of His children is hurting in their heart, He will do whatever He has to do- no matter the time of day or night- to help that child bear the pain. In matters big or small. 

I couldn’t wrap up today without an attempt at an Otis analogy. One of his many quirks was he wanted to go in and out all day long. He’d see his doodle friends from the window and bark to go out and I’d open the door to let him go play. In the middle of playing, he’d stop dead still, cold turkey and run to the door wanting back inside. He didn’t need anything. He just wanted to come back in for a short roll call to make sure I was still here. After taking attendance, he’d be ready to head back out for some more. This happened all day long. In and out. In and out. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why he was obsessive with the routine checks. At some point, someone had left him behind as they drove off. He’d been abandoned and, even though he knew he was loved here, he carried that scar around with him. The fear that it might happen again. So, he’d never allow himself too much time to lie in the sun, run with other dogs, or chase squirrels before he’d have to head back in to settle in his mind that his person was still here. Once he had his confirmation, off he’d go again. 

We all have hurt we bear. Maybe from bad experiences, trauma, rejection, unfulfilled longings, loss, fear, betrayal. Life has a million different ways it can leave us scarred and hurting. There are times we might find ourselves like my rescued dog- frantically searching for evidence that God, our Father, is still there. Needing reassurance that He hasn’t left us. Let me assure you, not only is He there, but as I’ve been reminded- He is working day and night on our behalf. If a dog’s death reminded me of anything, it is that most basic truth. He is for us. He is good. He is faithful. Even in those things that seem so small up next to the big things. If it hurts your heart, He cares. Enough to make provisions for you and weave ribbons of mercy into your situation to make it easier to bear. 

Thank you for giving me the honor of reading my blog for 10 years. I wish we could all get together somewhere to celebrate over a big sheet cake, maybe some pineapple-ginger ale punch, and karaoke. You are a blessing to my life. We will laugh again soon. 

Much love, 

JONI 

“I thank my God every time I remember you.” Philippians 1:3