Sunday, August 3, 2014

Well, That's Disconcerting

Ok, so this week, the last full week of summer, has been so hectic and crazy and a little unnerving!  I thought I'd share with you some of its more unsettling moments.   

1) Davis and Carson went to south Louisiana for a couple of days to go deep sea fishing with Davis' cousin.  "Davis, take care of my boy", I reminded him as they left for their destination, which was about 60 miles SOUTHeast of where "Swamp People" is filmed....where the Mississippi River meets the Gulf.  So....just so you have this in your go where Junior and Troy live just on the edge of nowhere and then keep going down for another hour.  All sorts of scenarios can go through a mother's head with her child traveling to that part of the country.  Most involve large reptiles and the death spiral. 

They were in the middle of nowhere, so I didn't hear from them as they had no cell service.  This was a good thing, I suppose.  I have always been a big believer in "ignorance is bliss", but my bliss ended late Thursday afternoon when I started getting spotty, vague messages from Carson.......
"Dad almost died....(30 minute pause) 
..slipped and fell overboard.......170 feet deep........big sharks swimming everywhere..........
lost his expensive glasses.......couldn't see the rest of the day.........I caught a huge shark........almost pulled me in..........feet came way off the deck...........on our way home now........Dad is flooring it."
Yeah.  I got messages like that. 

No pictures of the shark that Carson caught......or of Davis treading the shark infested water.  Clearly, I'll have to go along next time to properly document the event.  Everyone made it home with all their limbs, so all is well that ends well. 

2) Another event that shook me at my very foundation.......I found 12x and 18x magnification mirrors at Stein Mart this week and can I just say that it has been one of the most disturbing things that has ever happened to me in my life!  I really didn't even know those existed except for maybe in the Hubble telescope or somewhere like that.  I've had 8x mirrors and those are bad enough......but I've never magnified myself 18 times.  Let me just tell's not pretty.  Whoa!  I purchased the 12x mirror because I felt it told enough of the story.  The 18x was just the stuff nightmares are made of.   

If you ever feel your ego is getting too puffed up, go get yourself one of those and sit by a window with it for a few minutes.  You can see hair three days before it surfaces.  Each pore looks like a sinkhole, and my fine lines....well, they look like a page from the Rand McNally Atlas.  Oh, and the eyebrows.......they looked like my Daddy's when magnified 18 times.  Now, there are a lot of ways that a girl would like to favor her daddy, but eyebrows are never one of them.

I apprehended the usual suspects on the chin with my tweezers and found one who'd apparently been a fugitive for a while.  I didn't know whether to put the curling iron to it, call Guinness Book, or just pluck it out.  Plucking it almost felt like cutting down an old oak tree that had seen so much in its time and had a story to tell.  Oh, if that hair could talk. 

It was oddly impressive.
3)  And the most recent rumble in my little corner of the earth.......Blair left today.  After being home for three whole months, she headed back to college for all the sorority activities that precede school starting.  The door to her room is closed off again and our house has a little less fancy now.....a little less aerosol, a little less Michael Kors.......a little less happy noise.  We have palled around all summer, eating, exercising, watching movies, talking, and eating (did I say eating?) so, naturally, I'm going to miss her so much.  It's hard to be too sad though when you recognize the excitement in her eyes.......that kind you remember feeling. 

Unfortunately, she can't move into her apartment yet which means that even though Blair left us today, her large, ominous pile of things did not.  Davis and I will move those in a couple of weeks.        
I guess that's all that has rocked my world this past week!

Here's to calmer seas starting tomorrow.

Smooth sailing to y'all!




  1. Oh my....I need to repair all of my eye makeup now. That was hysterical and gave me an ab workout at the same time. Thank you!

  2. they should put warning labels on the 12x and 18x magnification mirrors...i learned long ago to stay away from those!

    i don't know how you survived when you got the message from carson....good lord!

    the twins (my grandbabies) started school this morning...i just got off the phone with my daughter to find out how that went....the 4th grader (boy) was just fine but her 5th grade girl always gets a nervous tummy on the first 3:00 she'll be fine.

    have a wonderful week joni!

  3. Thanks, Judy. I hope your grandbabies are having a good start to the year! I still say it's too early. We start tomorrow in this awful heat. :(

  4. Quite a week you've had!!
    I can just imagine that much magnification. I see a whole lot of stuff I don't want to see when I just put on my reading glasses and look in the mirror. I smile to think that maybe God made our eye sight poorer as we age so we can't see all the detail. : )

    1. You're probably right about that, Happyone. He is a merciful God. :)