Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Art of Compromise

Blair and I went to a wedding last night.  Evening was falling, the church lights were dim, and candles flickered all around.  The music was so beautiful.  Gorgeous flowers.  The pretty bridesmaids, the handsome groomsmen.  And the bride.....well, when she walked down the aisle, Blair grabbed her chest as if she'd suffered a heart attack, so that should tell you how she looked.  She was one of the most beautiful brides I'd ever seen.  Simply radiant.  Her dress and long veil were just stunning.  It was a picture perfect wedding setting.

I've spent a lot of time on the wedding scene during my lifetime.  For 17 years, I did freelance wedding floral work.  I met with brides and mothers of all kinds with different tastes, personalities, ideas, and budgets.  I've worked with every color scheme under the sun and coordinated flowers to match bridesmaid dress swatches that were no bigger than postage stamps.  I've worked for 72 hours straight with cumulative sleep hours that could be shown on two hands.  I've been sprawled out in the emergency room, waiting on the doctor to stitch up my hand, while worrying if I could get back with enough time to get it all done.  I've made enough boutonnieres, pew markers, and bridesmaid bouquets to sink a ship.  I've slept on church pews, stood on shaky ladders, broken a $600 piece of glass, got a nasty, nasty case of poison ivy, herniated a cervical disc, and been awakened by sweat inducing nightmares of the 1,000,000 things that could go wrong.  I've listened to, at least, 1,000 musicians warm up their voices and tune their instruments.  I've heard countless sound checks and wrestled with many a church vacuum.  I've eaten every form of groom's cake known to man and thrown enough birdseed to feed the entire cast of Hitchcock's The Birds for a year or two.  Point is.......I've been around a few weddings in my time.  Weddings......for which other people have paid, that is.   

Something has recently changed in the way I see weddings though.  Weddings used to be something that I did for a living......something that I helped friends with.....answered questions and offered advice.  Maybe the shift in my perspective came when my daughter slowly moved from dressing up like a bride in little plastic shoes and a dollar store crown and crossed over into her 20's.....that first decade when a wedding could actually happen.  She's not dating anyone seriously, but just the thought of it all gives me hives.  Weddings once looked like this.....
 Now, they look more like this.... 
Davis, who we affectionately call "Dave-is Ramsey" for his frugalness, likes to tease Blair about how he's got the perfect plan for her wedding.  He insists that we can save so much money simply by capitalizing on the strengths of each person in our family. 

He's, of course, got me down for flowers.  I mean......I may not make it back in time for pictures, but who says the mother of the bride has to be in the pictures.  And I could use the dead time after I'm seated on the mother's pew to pick the thorns out of my hands and maybe use an offering envelope to dig the chlorophyll out from under my fingernails.  And if I doze off during the prayer, I trust the usher will give me a nudge when he comes back to retrieve me after the wedding.

Of course, he says her dress is already bought and paid for and is stored in that professionally sealed, acid free chamber under our bed, where it's been since we married in there's an expense he's told her to cross off the list. 

He's got Blair slated to do the cake.  A nervous, emotional bride making her own five tier cake on the morning of her wedding.  What could possibly go wrong there? 

And Davis......well, he's so generously offered to do the food.  He'll start the charcoal, walk her down the aisle, and then slip out the side door to start grilling the hot dogs.  Burgers are his real specialty, but hot dogs are cheaper, you understand. 

Carson....well, Davis hasn't figured out how his knack for fielding a baseball or shooting a paintball gun could be all that helpful, so he's been assigned to sing.  He's not really known for his singing, but he is free and free is good.  He also has a harmonica if she desires a wind instrument piece.     

We'll just need a dunking booth and someone to guess people's weights and we'll have ourselves quite the high brow affair.

As you might imagine, Blair's visions are a bit different than her Dad's.  On her Pinterest wedding board, there are 1,308 pins.  This number is fluid and climbing.  Suffice it to say that she has a lot of ideas and not one of them includes frankfurters.  She was nice enough to let me share a few of her pins.  Here's just a sampling.  See if you can find the discrepancies...

We could have a problem.

Meanwhile, she will continue to pin and we will continue to work and, one day, when that special someone comes along, we will master the art of compromise.  Somewhere in the middle, we will meet......where there are no hot dogs.....or pyrotechnics.

Have a happy start to your week, y'all!!     


  1. Haha! We have three girls and their weddings give me a bit of anxiety. I don't like planning parties and I never pin anything, so I don't know how we'll pull it off! :) I'm hoping the twins will choose a double wedding and save me some money!

    1. Hahaha.....That be awesome! But I wouldn't count on it, Marie! :)

  2. Too funny! I love these differing father/daughter wedding perspectives! I really enjoyed planning my wedding, and I was lucky my daddy didn't have too many opinions along the way, but I also didn't feel right asking him to fund the whole thing which definitely helped keep me grounded knowing I planned to pay some of the expenses. We had such a great time at our wedding but part of me wonders if I had to do it over again if I would rather just pocket the money it cost us and elope at the courthouse instead. Also, I am SO grateful that Pinterest didn't exist when I got married--wedding planning is stressful enough without the added pressure to be Pinterest-perfect!! It's just too much!

    1. I agree! Too much pressure now! I had a big wedding, too. I think I would do it again though. :)