Wednesday, June 17, 2015

More Cleaning.....and Snakes and Beer Trucks

Well, I've almost finished the entire house.  Only two rooms to go and trash day cannot come soon enough.  I've decluttered, organized, and cleaned in the most impressive way!  I've also texted the children and warned them that, when they come home, they will be asked to sit on the couch and touch nothing.  "And don't get any big ideas that you're going to be allowed in your rooms either.  If you need something, I will bring it to you on the couch....where you'll be found sitting quietly with your hands folded and feet on the floor". 

Maybe I'll just suggest that they stay with friends for a few months.    

I mean, you can't spend an entire week cleaning and then have the kids come in and act like they live here or something.  I'm finding myself becoming increasingly protective of my newfound immaculacy.  As Davis started for the kitchen to get his late night bowl of cereal, I was like, "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"  Stop.  No, we're not getting anything out.....and, please, put the box back in its alphabetized spot". 

What was he thinking?     

He interrupted my cleaning last evening when he screamed into the back door......"Joni, come see what I just killed".  Usually, when men say that, it's something very bad.  I mean, they don't generally say, "Hey, come see the soft kitty I killed" or "You've got to see this little bunny I bludgeoned to death"

No, I had my suspicions of what it might be and sure enough.......a rattlesnake.  Only a few yards from our back door.  He wasn't that big, but I'm quite concerned about where his mother, father, brothers, and sisters might be.  Hopefully, his mangled body will serve as a warning to them.   

Here's the obligatory picture.  In the South, it doesn't do just to tell about the snake you killed.  You have to show a picture for it to be officially recognized. 
See, this is just another reason to hate summer.....all the serpents.  And you know what the Bible says about them and us, women.  It will never be good between us.  That's why Davis was able to beat the snake with a stick, stomp his head, flip him over, carefully examine his markings, count his rattles, take pictures of him, and fling him out into the woods.......all while I screamed like a three year old girl.

And can we talk about this heat?!?  It's going to be close to 100 by the weekend here and with the humidity at 500%, I'm so over summer.  I just don't get you, people, who like this.  It's like saying, "I enjoy visiting Hell" or "My favorite spot is under my oven's broil setting".  It just makes no sense.

I have a countdown to fall going on my phone and, if you need me before the 97 days are up, I'll be inside somewhere.
Before I go, my new speed conscious mindset really paid off today.  I did have to leave my closets for a quick errand and, when I topped a hill, there sat a highway patrolman.  I didn't have to slam on brakes or anything!.  I was well within the legal boundaries of travel.  I must say, though, I'm not making many new friends with the people who get caught behind me.

Today, the Coors Light truck got behind me on a two lane highway.  He obviously wanted to go faster than the new me was comfortable with, so I had to tap my brakes to get him off my know, to show him I don't play that and that I would not be intimidated by his large and alcoholic as it was.  A few words preached into my rearview mirror to the beer truck driver man about safety and having a little respect for the law and he backed right off. 

Some people.   

Well, I know this has been ramble-y and of little substance, but there's just not much to report from the bottom of closets and inside cabinets.  There is little inspiration to be found in those places.  I should be done with the process tomorrow and will reenter society.  Maybe, then, we can talk about other things.

Night, y'all. 




  1. This was a delightful post Joni! Every topic I can relate to, especially the count down to Fall! Davis is my hero, saving you from the rattler! Good for you organizing and purging the home, after all you'll be hibernating until the leaves change, like me. 114 yesterday in Phoenix. 110 plus temps this week and then some. But it's a dry heat! Ha! The humidity where you live must be so suppressing. Keep cool Joni with a glass of sweet tea, Kathleen in Az

    1. Oh, Kathleen......our humidity is definitely what makes it so miserable. 114 sounds pretty bad though, even if it is dry heat. 95 more days, Kathleen! We just have to get through it.

  2. Okay. You might not even be able to believe me...but it's true. Here in good old PA, we have this fantastic law that you are not allowed to kill rattlesnakes. I mean, WHAT?!?!?! What good is a rattlesnake other than extinct? We have plenty of other snakes, that will not require a trip to the ER if you get bit, to take care of all the vermin...if that is what they are worried about. They even have idiots here who hunt them just to catch them, look at them, take pictures of them, and then set them to crawl into my yard and bite my people. So on behalf of us anit-rattlesnake people in PA, thank you for killing this snake that could have crawled across state lines and into my yard one day.

    1. Ok, Jennifer! I can't even wrap my head around this law you speak of!!!!!!! WHY??? Please find out because I am so curious now! Just send them all crawling down here and we'll take care of them for you.

    2. Well. I actually do stand corrected…you can kill them after all…but you need a permit and you can only kill one 42 inch (or longer) snake each year…and there is a list of places you can’t hunt them…and that list is LONG. Oh...and the snake must also have 21 or more subcaudal scales...what does this mean? And is it even possible to count this when you encounter a rattlesnake?

      I’ll give credit where credit is due…this is from the PA DCNR website…

      Pennsylvania Department of Conservation and Natural Resources (DCNR) Bureau of Forestry's 2.2 million acres of State Forest lands provide the largest blocks of timber rattlesnake range remaining in the Northeastern states. These forests are managed according to the principles of ecosystem management, with the realization that all the different species must be present to sustain a healthy, functioning forest.

      The presence of timber rattlesnakes is one of the components that gives a wild flavor to State Forest land. The largest populations of timber rattlesnakes occur in the remote, heavily forested regions of Pennsylvania, and the state Wildlife Action Plan recognizes the state's responsibility in maintaining viable populations of native species.

      Worldwide, the importance of venomous snakes is being recognized not only for their role as both predator and prey but for their medical value. Recent promising breakthroughs in treatments for hypertension, heart attack, and cancer are attributed to snake venom research.

      Pennsylvania experienced a major decline in its timber rattlesnake population during recent decades attributed mainly to unrestricted commercial and sport hunting, den raiding, and land development. This decline prompted the Pennsylvania Fish & Boat Commission (charged with aquatic invertebrate, fish, reptile, and amphibian management) to implement protective regulations and declare the timber rattlesnake a Candidate species for listing (Timber rattlesnakes are listed as threatened or endangered in neighboring states). DCNR urges all State Forest users including recreational visitors, camp lessees, logging, mineral, and rights-of-way contractors, fuel wood cutters, and passers-through to exhibit a tolerance for the timber rattlesnake and abide by all applicable regulations:

      • Persons who hunt, capture, kill, or possess timber rattlesnakes must have an Individual Timber Rattlesnake Hunter and Rattlesnake Possession Permit.
      • One snake can be taken annually with a valid permit, but the snake must be at least 42 inches in length, measured lenghtwise along the dorsal surface from the snout to tail (excluding the rattle). It also must have 21 or more subcaudal scales. This length requirement protects female snakes as male timber rattlesnakes are larger.
      • It is unlawful to hunt, take or kill timber rattlesnakes (even with a valid timber rattlesnake collection permit) west of Route 15 and south of interstate 81 to the Maryland line. Therefore, there is no open season for timber rattlesnake collection in the Michaux State Forest.
      • Timber rattlesnakes may not be collected (even with a valid timber rattlesnake collection permit) in the following 28 Natural Areas on State Forest land: (I deleted the list…but it’s a long list).
      • Damage to denning or overwintering and basking areas is prohibited.
      • Selling timber rattlesnakes or parts thereof is prohibited.

      Timber rattlesnakes are protected under specific regulations by the Pennsylvania Fish & Boat Commission. For more information, consult the most recent "Pennsylvania Summary of Fishing Regulations and Laws" (supplied with fishing licenses) or direct questions to: Nongame and Endangered Species Unit, Pennsylvania Fish & Boat Commission, 450 Robinson Lane, Bellefonte, PA 16823

    3.! Who is going to go and get the measuring tape before they kill a rattlesnake? One a year with a permit? Yikes. I'm afraid all the Mississippi boys would be "in a heap of trouble" up there. :) It is interesting to learn about their medical benefits, but my goodness. Thanks for the research, Jennifer.

  3. I also do not like serpents or summer. They both start with a S-just like Satan.

    1. Mama Hen, you and I are likely sisters separated at birth! I love it!!