Saturday, March 22, 2014

Sleep Tight

Sleep is such a precious thing and I take it, oh, so seriously!  You can mess with a lot of things, but don't mess with my sleep.  Whenever possible, I prefer to stay up late and then sleep in the next morning and maybe even catch a little nap in betwixt deboning chickens, cleaning toilet rims, and all the other forms of glamour and fancy that fill my day.  Don't tell this, but when Carson leaves for school, I have even been known to crawl back in bed for a couple of hours.....something that the Proverbs 31 woman would never do.  I've got those verses about her lights burning late into the night, but struggle with the up before dawn parts. 

For our whole 22 years of marriage, I've had trouble adjusting to sharing a bed with another person.  Not that I don't love Davis, mind you, but I love him so much more during waking hours.  I admit it....I'm sort of a sleep diva.  I pretty much require near perfect conditions to fall asleep....can't be too hot, too much light, or any noise like the television...oh yeah, and I can't go to bed too early or I have problems falling asleep, but if I stay up past 1:30 a.m., I have trouble then too.  Most of all, I'm addicted to our white noise fan and if the power goes off in the middle of the night and it shuts off, I will shoot up like a bottle rocket on the 4th of July.  It's not a good addiction, because I absolutely cannot sleep without my white noise fix.  All that to say, I cannot tolerate much of anything when I'm trying to drift off to dreamland. 

I recently saw an online sleep quiz for couples and decided to take it just for fun, especially knowing that how Davis and I sleep is something you've all been dying to hear about...perhaps it's been even keeping you up at night.  The quiz asked that you choose the picture that best illustrates how you sleep as a couple and then rated your relationship happiness accordingly.

1) The quiz showed that couples who sleep spooning are the happiest.  Oh, they do look happy, but I'm at a loss to understand how you're suppose to get any sleep in the Heimlich maneuver position with someone snoring all up in your ear and drooling down your face.  If Davis and I were stranded in subfreezing temperatures while mountain climbing, I might be all over this spooning thing, but since that would require hiking and I don't do that, I see this as a very, very hot sleeping arrangement under normal conditions.  No, this would never work for me.

2) Couples who sleep facing each other or touching are listed as a close second in relationship satisfaction.  This looks so sweet...mingling feet or holding hands in their sleep.  I know it's probably just me, but I cannot sleep if anyone is touching me.  I'm from the school of thought that believes sleep is something you must do alone.  It is an individual sport.  We can touch tomorrow.
3) Couples who sleep facing the opposite direction or, in our case, one on his back and the other one facing the wall, clinging to the side of the bed and backslapping anything that touches her....those couples are the lowest scorers on the test.  Davis sleeps like a corpse....on his back with his hands slightly folded at his waist.  It's kind of creepy looking.  Sometimes, when I go into the bedroom and the dim light illuminates his sleeping silhouette, it looks like Parlor B at the Heavenly Rest Funeral Home.  I'm a side sleeper, facing out with my feet hanging out of the covers and my arms stretched out.  Anyway, our sleep set up would look something like this.....minus the coffin, that is. 
So, there you have it.....based on our sleeping arrangement, Davis and I rank low in relationship satisfaction and we didn't even know it.  We better get some counseling.  :)      

If you'd like to find out what your personal sleeping position says about your personality, look at this fun quiz.  Some of the results are eerily accurate in our case.....especially for Davis.  He's even responsible and reasonable when he sleeps, for crying out loud.

My Result

You are a naturally open person, and yet because of this you also come armed with a large portion of suspicion and a cynical point of view. At times, you can be the most pleasant person out there, but other times, you seem be to lost in your own little world, brooding. You take a long time to make a decision, but once one is made, you stick to it.

Davis's Result

You are a quiet person who doesn't like to make a big deal about things, and are always the one who sees the big picture. You are reasonable, but have a bad habit of setting your standards much to high for yourself, and even higher for other people. Sometimes, it seems you're trying way too hard to please everyone, so why not relax a little when you can?

Hope y'all sleep tight tonight! 


  1. Sleep diva here too! Black out shades may be one of the most awesome inventions ever!!!

  2. Sleep divas, unite! Long live the inventor of black out shades!

  3. My husband and I learned very early on that we needed a bedroom set up like Rob and Laura Petrie; two separate beds. (Waking up cold in the middle of the night only to find all the covers bunched up on top of my husband, or visa versa, and we NEEDED a solution, and quick). Since the separate bed thing seemed a bit too drastic, we ended up just using our own covers. And I'm glad to report that we have lived happily ever after with a set of his and her covers. So I guess we need to line up that marriage counseling too. :)

    1. Ok, I love that! I was thinking the other day that I would turn over more if I could stick my feet out of the covers on his side, so I may have to shop for separate covers...although I like the Rob and Laura approach too. :)

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