Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Family Picture

I got to look at our Christmas card proofs yesterday. 

We had our family Christmas picture made last Sunday after church.  We have an awesome photographer, who is also a kind, kind friend, and he does a great job of making some of us look way better than we actually do in real life.  We usually just have the kids on our cards, so that our out of town friends can see how they've grown and changed.  Davis and I have grown and changed over the years, too, but in ways that aren't quite as picturesque and shouldn't be held onto anyone's refrigerator with a magnet.  Every ten years or so, we do break down and throw ourselves in the card to assure everyone that we're not dead.  This was that year.   

Oh, the family picture.  What a wonderful experience they always are.  For the mother, this can be a stressful event.  It's her responsibility to see to it that the picture is a success.  This clearly falls in the mother's column in that big lopsided chart of family responsibilities.  Haircuts, dry cleaning pickup, secure appointment time.  She must oversee and verify that everyone is groomed,wrinkle free, on time, and somewhat coordinated. 

Let me stop here and discuss the aforementioned lopsided family responsibilities list.  I'd like to talk to whoever decided.....Ok, here's how we're going to divide things up.....the mothers will bear the children, potty train them, document their lives with pictures, take them to the doctor, attend school meetings, wash the clothes, wipe the behinds, iron, remember birthdays, grocery shop, pack lunches, schedule appointments, clean up the vomit, buy the gifts, clean out the closets, fill out the baby books, cook, clean the toilets, run the carpool, maintain the master family calendar, plan the parties, decorate for holidays, address the Christmas cards, take the cupcakes to school, vacuum, organize the family gatherings, and oversee the Christmas picture.....if the fathers will just plunge the toilets, operate the jumper cables, bury the pets, shoot the intruders, and get the Christmas decorations down from the attic?  But I digress.  

Anyway, sons and daughters.....well, they're on both ends of the spectrum when it comes to pictures.  Girls usually love the idea of having their picture made and are meticulous about every preparatory detail.....especially the hair and makeup.  Just before our appointment time, it started raining.  Not just rain, but rain of Biblical the kind that causes animals to start pairing off and looking for a man with a long, white beard and a staff.  Anyway, sure enough, the humidity was being accused for Blair's hair "not doing right" as she grunted from in front of the bathroom mirror and, if you have girls, you know that nothing will cause a family to run late like a daughter's hair that isn't doing right.   

Meanwhile, sons aren't nearly as excited about picture day and have to be reminded to do the most basic hygienic tasks like bathing, tucking in their shirt, and wet combing that hair that's sticking up in the back.  As I recall, Carson let out a big, "Uuuuuuuuuugghh", while slowly walking to the car as if he'd prefer to go have several molars pulled if given the choice.  I mean, after all, he didn't want to hear about Blair's hair problems.....he had to brush his teeth.

Despite the setbacks, we made it to our appointment and everything went well.....with a couple of brief exceptions when one of the kids was asked to touch the other one on the shoulder or back.  You know how you have to do when you're having portraits done....touch each other in order to look connected and a family.  Yeah, I know they're 14 and 20, but touching your sister is still not something you want to do if it can be helped.  Ever.   

Here are some of the ones that we didn't choose as the card picture......well, for obvious reasons.  Carson's feelings about Blair's impromptu stunt to portray us as her lowly subjects are plainly spelled out across his face.
 We do look a little like Gladys and her Pips, I suppose.....or maybe like Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn orbiting the Sun.   
If you'd like to order our culled Christmas pictures in wallet sizes, a commemorative mug, or a 2015 wall calendar, just call and one of our representatives will be happy to assist you. Please be patient and stay on the line and the first available salesperson will be with you shortly.  And if you call in the next 15 minutes, we'll double your order and you just pay the shipping and handling.  All orders will be delivered in time for Christmas, so call now. 
At least, Davis and I are off the hook for a few years.  This ought to be enough to keep any speculations of our disappearance or passing at bay for a while. 
Happy Thursday to everybody!  We're sliding into the weekend!              




  1. You are all beautiful! I am always happy to get a family portrait but I think my husband WOULD rather have molars pulled! He is way worse than our five children. Personally, I get the girl-hair issue. My sister once flung a brush at the mirror of the bathroom in protest that it was not cooperating to subdue her horrible hair day. For some reason, our two teen girls are rather unaffected by their hair. I don't understand this? They don't even use hair spray? This is is when I remind myself they are step-daughters, because they do not have the same hair detail gene that runs on my side! My little girl is only eight ... time will tell what develops?

    1. Hahaha.......Love that! I'm sure there was a mix-up at the hospital, Missy June, if they don't even use hair spray!! :) I bet y'all are always on time though!!

  2. Love the look on Carson's face. : )
    You are one handsome looking family!!
    Beautiful photo.

    1. Thank you so much, Happyone! And I agree.....Carson's face is priceless :)

  3. Family pictures always bring out the best and worst in us! Great pictures and expressions! :)