Saturday, April 5, 2014

Not Much, How About You?

I guess I don’t have a whole lot to say about any one thing today, but, instead, I have a tiny bit to say about a few, random things that you may or may not find interesting.  Our life, around here, has just been fraught with thrills and adventure…the kind that movies are made of… it’s difficult to hone in on one topic today. 

First, we have to talk about this pollen.  It’s that time of year again. The South is covered with a thick, yellow blanket and the air is so full of the pesky powder that it has taken on a smoky appearance at times.  Sitting out at Carson’s baseball games this week, I caught enough pollen in my hair to impregnate a national forest.  As a result, my head has been pounding for the last 5 days.  It feels like a little blacksmith is in there, beating the stew out of some steel or something.  (I don’t have any idea what it means to beat the stew out of something , but it’s just what we say down here…usually used by your Mama to describe what she was going to do when she got you and your brothers home.)  Anyway, my eyes are so bloodshot that I look like I’ve been having way more fun than I actually have.  My “allergic to everything” boy, Carson (Gold bless him) is sneezing with every breath and his nose and eyes are dripping like a faucet.  He takes three medicines daily for allergy and asthma plus an inhaler and allergy shots, so I don’t know what else we could do for him short of the bubble approach.  Even the dog’s eyes are watering.  It’s serious around here, but the rain we’re getting should help matters.

I do wish that the pine trees could be a little more discreet with their love nonsense and not involve the rest of us in their indiscriminate relationships.  I did read, however, that pine pollen offers several health benefits although I have yet to experience any of them.  It boosts the immune and endocrine systems, reduces pains, lowers cholesterol and inflammation, and most notably….it is a very effective testosterone booster.  I suppose you should go stand outside if you’re in pain or if your cholesterol is high, but, for goodness sake, keep your man indoors.  The last thing most of them need is any kind of boost or inspiration from the pines.   

Switching gears, we renewed our family phone plan this past week.  Blair and I got new iPhones, Davis got my old iPhone and Carson will get his first smart phone when final grades are released as part of an incentive program we implemented.  Davis, the federal government employee, has been using his government issued 1990’s flip phone for the last decade.  I know that there is much wasteful spending that should be exposed in our government, but, I am here to tell you right now, it cannot be found in the USDA employee phone program.  I would text him, “Are you still at work?” and it would take him forever to respond as he’d have to hit “9” three times for “Y”, “3” two times for “E”, and “7” four times for “S”.  It was just a notch above Morse code.  It goes without saying that we are all excited about his stepping up in the phone world.

Each time we get new phones, update our phones or do anything new with our phones, my line and Blair’s line seem to get crossed up, because we share an iTunes account.  The first time this happened was last fall.  My cell phone rang one night and when I answered it, a young man on the other end said, “Hey,..where you at?”  Resisting my urge to point out that his sentence was lacking a verb and ended in an unnecessary preposition, I told him that I thought he might have the wrong person.  Unbeknownst to the poor boy, he had been connected, not with Blair, but her 45 year old mother, who was sitting on the couch, eating an ice cream sandwich in her stretchy pants with night cream on her face.  Imagine his surprise.   

Well, we had the problem all worked out until this past week when we renewed our family plan and our new phones were issued.  Within an hour of having my new phone, I realized that we were crossed up again when a young man texted “me” and asked if “I” would like to see a movie with him over the weekend.  I have to say that it has been a long time since I’ve had this much excitement, but you can imagine Blair’s eagerness to get the problem resolved.  It was kind of reminiscent of back in the day, when a boy had to go through your Mama first as she’d answer the phone on the kitchen wall and when you took it from her, you’d have to stretch the coiled cord into another room for a little privacy.  I say let’s go back to that.  It built character and made us the people we are today.

Oh, and last night, Davis worked late, so Carson and I had a date night.  We went out for pizza and calzones, bought his first pair of jeans sized by WxL, got ice cream, and spent a great deal of time trying on baseball gloves.  Carson has the most awesome sense of humor, so he's always a fun date.  I do think I am loving this teenage son thing.  While he’s not near as eager and cooperative as Blair when taking pictures, he did pump my gas…..a service that Blair does not offer.

That's all I've got today.
Night, y’all….


  1. My favorite new blog. Love your sense of humor. I guess I'm one of the few people on earth that the pollen does not bother.

  2. Thanks, Teresa! And consider yourself lucky on the pollen thing!

  3. joni, the struggle is REAL with the pollen! we get the same here in arkansas and we raised two kids w/ allergies/asthma in the midst of it. i wish i had a dime for all the nights we spent on the couch with the nebulizer! i miss a lot of things about my kids' childhoods but no thank you, not that. so i feel your pain!
    also teenage boys are just fun. enjoy. b/c you'll def miss those times! :)

  4. Yes, Tracey! Carson got the package deal....asthma, allergies, peanut allergy, and eczema! Glad to hear you made it through with yours. I hope some of it will subside as he gets older. And I'm with you on the son thing.....they're a whole different kind of fun. I'm so glad I've gotten to experience both!